Inpatient

[ThePhoenix75]

Has anyone here gone inpatient to a hospital to detox?  If you did, what was your experience?  I am really struggling right now and thinking of checking in tomorrow morning.
I met with my therapist on Wednesday and she said insurance will only cover it for dual diagnosis.  In other words really play up the depression part.  The only thing that holds me back is I don't want to be held against my will which is what will happen if I play up the depression.  I am sad, but not THAT sad.  Mostly I just am really struggling with all that us going on and want to be clean if all this junk so I can start my life over.  These drugs have screwed my life up unbelievably and I want to be done.  With all my health issues, I know I can't go ct.  I will only go to a hospital vs. rehab because I know I need IV hydration.
Anyway, I am just struggling and don't know what to do.  If anyone has any hospital detox experience, please let me know...
Love you all my MH friends, you make all the difference in the world...

[spider6]

Hi there, just wanted to lend my support.  I have had experience detox in hospital.  I had a three week stint coming off of benzos 25mg a day, and codeine 500mg a day sometimes more.  They brought me right off the codeine and down to 3mgs Xanax a day.  I loved the experience of the routine and camaraderie among the patients.

When I first arrived, I was required to be in "lock-up" for 3 days I think.  I slept the whole time.  When I moved out of lock up, it was much more loose, but still had to attend meetings.  I learned a lot while there.  I felt safe.  

That was 20 years ago so obviously I wasn't smart enough to hold onto what I learned.  When I got home, over the following weeks I was secluded and oh soooo weak.  I had no support system.  I felt really f*cked up!  I had 3 small children to deal with and no support system.,.......I faultered.  

.......the hospital stay was a gift though, I highly recommend.  I pray that you embrace and value it more than I did.
Prayers of strength! Hugs

[brokenspiritandsoul]

I was not able to do an inpatient detox but I wish I could have. However, one of my good friends was able to and she said it was the best decision she ever made!  She had to do the same thing with her insurance. She played up depression and anxiety and because she never said she was suicidal, she wasn't on lockdown. She stayed for 10 days where they detoxed her with comfort meds for the first 5 days then next 5 days were working on coping skills for the depression and anxiety. She left with some antidepressants. That was a year ago and she is still clean. She slowly tapered the antidepressant after 6 months. I hope you are able to go inpatient as then you will have the support you need and would be safer with health issues. I wish you the best!

[spider6]

I'm sorry I can't comment on the insurance issue as I live in Canada.  I think we Canadians sometimes take that for granted.......we just go to the doctor or emerg. and not have to worry about money in our pockets.

I think you should play up the depression part too.  I personally wasn't suicidal but hospital protocol was lockdown for a individually assessed period of time. I also could have left there anytime, it wasn't against my will.  Maybe that would have been different if my doctor had PUT me in there but I admitted myself.

Def. safest place to be while detoxing....
much luck.

[tooter212]

Phoenix, I don't know anything about inpatient detox, but I think I would feel safe. I know in the first week I thought I was going to die and didn't know if I should go to ER or not. I was scared to death.  At least you would know you were in safe hands. Just want you to know I'm praying for you. God Bless

[ThePhoenix75]

Thank you spider, broken and tooter.  I am struggling so much right now, I wish I knew what to do...

[ThePhoenix75]

Spider, how long did you stay in the hospital for?

[dominosarah]

Right now you need the help Phoenix.  I look at the "hold" as help~

[clean_in_ks]

If I remember correctly, you're trying to come off very high doses of Fentanyl and oxycodone.  And did I just read yesterday that you are done for some reason with the dr that has been prescribing the patches and won't be getting any more from that dr?  Maybe I dreamed that, I'm not sure....but you are down from 200 mcg to 100 on the patches, right?

All things considered, your health issues and your drug history....going to inpatient detox would be one of the best gifts you give yourself.  If we wait for that moment of "absolute certainity"....we won't ever do anything.
No road is the "wrong" road....it will fork....or lead you to another road.  
From all I remember about your life situation.....going to inpatient detox regardless of whether it's at a hospital or rehab.....is a GOOD thing to do.

If you overthink it.....you'll change your mind a thousand times.  Coming off Fentanyl (let alone oxycodone at the same time) is a BIG DEAL.  Face your very worst fears.....and then just pick up the phone...that's when relief will begin.  
There's no time like the present......to give yourself a present~  

[ThePhoenix75]

Hi Kansas,
Yes, I decided to find a new dr that wouldn't so freely prescribe pain meds.  My current dr. Has not been too supportive of my decision to stop pain meds in light of my medical conditions and pain issues , she thinks I should stay on them.  I would put myself in the category of dependent rather than addicted because I have always used less than prescribed, but pain meds have greatly impacted me and my life so I feel I need to be off.

I have gone down from  200 mcg of fentanyl and  240 mcg per day of oxycodone to only 75 mcg of the fentanyl .  I am really pushing this last part of the taper and it is really depressing me.  I want off these so much.

The trouble with checking myself in is that I am dealing with a divorce and custody issues.  I also have court next week .  My ex is an attorney and I am not sure if going into hospital rehab looks positively or negatively towards me.  I have so many factors I need to consider.

I am depressed but NOT end of life depressed.  The thought if going into a. Hospital and getting an IV and some comfort meds sounds inviting but I don't know what the best thing is to do...

I have been doing well on the taper, if anything pushing myself too hard.  There are just so many factors and none if them are easy...

Thanks for listening

[atthebeach]

hun you have done excellent on your taper.
you are totally off the oxys?
down to 75 mcgs fentanyl?
why do you feel at this point you need to go?

[cheche0904]

hello there. in my opinion a hospital detox can be a great idea. i know about that angle of really playing up your depression to get in but i got to say if you need to go....... go.... do what you have to do. i am no expert but i believe the worst is a 72 hour hold and they usually do that say.... if you cut on yourself or something as long those lines.. the advantage to getting away for a shgort time under supervision far outway trying to do it on your own... in my opinion... however a good painful experience with a detox without does help some with a reminder.... i dont have a concrete answer but i know exactly how you are feeling. there are a lot of us out here. alot of us die from our addictions and at least for me it was an absolute fear of sickness. withdrawl, well heck who am i kidding i was in fear of everything..... i am pulling for you and just try to remember that you are worth a life free of addiction. you are worth love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodsess, faithfulness, self control... keep us posted

[ThePhoenix75]

Thank you.  Yes, out of all that I am down to a 75 mcg patch.  The problem is that I am rushing to get off these meds. (For custody purposes it looks better if I am not on pain meds; and I will admit they change me -- make me tired all the time, cranky, etc)
I am pushing myself to get off ASAP. My goal is in 10 days.  I am having a hard time dealing with all the psychological and physical symptoms of WD.  I am really depressed with everything going on
I don't know what the answer is at this point...mostly I want off now but I do care how the courts would perceive an inpatient hospital detox... So difficult...

[VICourageous]

Girl..I just do not know what to say here. First you are pushing so fast that you are dealing with some Bad Ash types of w/ds. Then you have all that Stress on top of this. I would try to just slow it down a bit Hun. You have every reason to be on this and Drs want you to be..So as far as Court that should not hurt. You are working with a DR to taper right??Your Choice to do this.
I will say that I sure do feel for you. I have a lot of time in and dealing with so many Crisis right now, I feel I am in Detox Again!! SO you just do what is right BUT I think you just have a Double Whammy on you right now. Maybe just slow it down a bit and try to let your Body/Brain adjust from each drop..I sure wish you the best..I sure can feel your pain in many ways..lol
Bless
PS I do have rehab experience..BUT I really think you are doing good.

[ThePhoenix75]

Thank you Vic,
I am tapering with a dr., The original prescriber, but I am going much faster than recommended.  She wanted me to got 25 mcg per month and leave the Oxys until I was off the fentanyl but I of course rushed that.  I am supposed to be at. 150 mcg of fentanyl and the same of oxy.  I also "cut my sources" by leaving this dr. Because I was afraid I would never get off because she wasn't too supportive of my stopping pain meds.  So, what I have left is what I have left.
I have quite a few patches because I never used all of them.  Probably enough to do a slower taper for a month or so.
My problem is I am impatient and depressed with life so it is making everything extra hard to cope with.  I don't know if it would be a positive or negative in the eyes of the court for me to go.  My ex keeps telling me to go but I don't know if it is in my best interest or his.  I told my attorney about my circumstances and she said the detox isn't bad but if the only way to go is if I make up suicide ideation then not to do it.  I guess I should keep on plugging but I am hitting a rough patch.
Thank you for listening.

[atthebeach]

hun the courts cant fault you for having health issues in regards to deciding custody. if you are taking your meds as prescribed you are not an addict so that shouldnt be a problem either.
do you have any support? counseling, friends, do you get out of the house,
exercise, physical therapy, clergymen, support groups?
It would be best if you slowed down a bit. you have gone from very high doses of two powerful meds in only 2 months, no wonder you are tired and somewhat depressed.
I don't believe that going to a detox and claiming you are suicidal is in your best interest, sorry but I believe your husband would use that against you considering what you have told us about him.

[clean_in_ks]

What about continuing to taper the Fentanyl.....doing all your nutritional supplements, etc. that you are doing and waiting to make a decision about inpatient until AFTER court?  It's next week, right?

[ThePhoenix75]

I think I may consider that.  I am just having a really difficult time with everything emotionally.  Last night was worse, today I am a bit better.

[jessem85]

Yes phoenix I've gone to inpatient a couple times and my experience was pleasant as it could be they give all the meds you need unfortunately to get in you have to have a dirty urine so if your 5 days or more of opiates it already out of your system your just dealing with the afterlife but you could just take a small piece of a opiate to get in I'm not trying to promote a relapse but detox will set you up with all your after care as well as detox you you will barely know your sick after your off everything good luck

[jessem85]

Also the emotional rollercoaster of detox is horrible all your bad and good memories come back to you in an overwhelming blur its hard the thing that got me the most with inpatient was the emotions after the detox and I was stuck there with strangers crying screaming and litter ally thinking I was going crazy but the strangers help you out cause everyone there is going through the same thing you are I seen you are from Connecticut I think if so its a bit of a travel but high point Plymouth mass is great

[jessem85]

I missed the custody fact all I can say on that is my children were involved in DSS because of my addiction and they closed the case do to the fact that I completed inpatient and received a completion letter but every state is different but any act of self help usually is good in there eyes good luck and do what ever you feel in your heart is right for you and your children

[ThePhoenix75]

thanks jesse,
how how long were you inpatient for?  
were you able to leave at any time?
do you think it is signifcantly easier than dealing with detox at home?

I have been tapering off of fentanyl for the past 2 months or so.  I was on megadoses of opiates 200 mcg of fentany patch and 240 mg per day of oxycodone.  I am now down to just one 75 mcg fentanyl patch but I am miserable.  The emotions of tapering this long is really draining on me and I know the hard part is yet to come, I don't know if I can do this on my own anymore.

thank you for your suggestions,
Phoenix

[jessem85]

Yes it is so much easier and I know Plymouth you can leave at any time and they make you very comfortable they med you correctly and its usually 7 days detox and there's a 10 day aftercare program that I suggest they have meetings all day which in detox is your choice to go or not but if you want the aftercare your best bet is to attend as many meetings as possible its close to Boston so about a 2 an a half hour ride but worth it they watch movies you have snacks in the unit and you get 3 meals a day and there's an alternate meal if you don't like what they have there's a salad bar and they have great councilors

[ThePhoenix75]

thanks for the info!
does it accept insurance or is it all out of pocket?

[jessem85]

Yes it does accept insurance I paid nothing there's a 15 dollar deposit that you get back when you leave in case you get stranded there its for transportation