Day 13 bad luck?

[cleangimnow]

I'm just checking in as usual. Things are getting better. I still wish that I had more energy but Im sure that'll come...I'm going to keep rolling with it. It is soooo damn hard. Why???? Mental game- Gnarly is right about that!  This is where the true strength is needed. When I was in the agony of physical wds I swore them off. I don't want to forget about that so I don't go back. However I wonder how people with a lot of time under there belt manage to keep going???  What is the motivation?

[cleangimnow]

I appreciate all of the comments and I'm glad to know that it isn't just me. It is good to hear that energy will return. I think this was the part that got me last time I quit. It feels like a lull. I've learned that u can't say oh just 1 today for some energy just today. Doesn't work that way!!  

I am going to make me number one and not push it with life. Otherwise, I'll end up right back in the hell that I was in.

[tavia14]

I am right there with you!! Day 13 for me too!!! Hey Day 13 isn't that so awesome!! No stopping us now! Seriously!! The thing that keeps me moving forward was my lil clean time (3 months) I had in January -April...Well almost 3 months. I tell you I never felt better in my life!!! My head finally cleared, my energy wasn't perfect but certainly wasn't like I feel today :( so for me I am striving for those days again!!! I know the only way to get there is not using. I made the HUGE MISTAKE last time of taking just one..WHY? WHY? WHY? It was the worst mistake ever one of course no matter how much we think we can control it turns into 1000 in no time which is exactly what happened to me :( Anyway that is water under the bridge now!!!Lesson learned ( i mean it ) and working towards those feel good days again..They will come :) ...Hang tough we got this!!!! Aftercare is a must ..those are the next steps for me

[dominosarah]

Give your wife some time to adjust and deal with this.  Your actions will speak louder than words.  Using is not an option, facing your issues is.  You can do this!!

[dominosarah]

Working my recovery keeps me motivated.  Waking up every morning knowing that i have choices feels good.  I love being clean.  I am finally living, not just existing.  I like the person i see looking back at me in the mirror.  I have my family back and that is a miracle in itself.  Recovery is a slow process and this doesnt happen overnight but it will happen.

Congrats on 13 days!!!  Hold that clean time sacred and make you the No.1 priority~~sara

[cleangimnow]

Very true. It feels nice to not be chained to that stupid bottle and spend so much money on it. I was cranky earlier and my wife went into a shell. A little upsetting. I did this to her because of ny use and it makes me want to use. There won't be healing if I do that. So....time it is and just give things a rest for now.

[ladywithtime]

i hear ya on the motivation thing! the way i look at it is this, 2 weeks ago i felt like i wanted to die and now i feel soo much better. i believe that if i just hang in there it WILL get better! we beat the hell outta our bodies and brain and they just need to heal and the only remedy is time.

last night was a huge test for me...i have a disease that is not only stress related but hormonally related as well. i was in a lot of pain and discomfort and normally i would use to help me get through it--welp, i didn't use and i survived! lol...

i even had *someone* call me and i still didn't use. even though i threatened all my contacts she still called. to me, i've come this far and i cannot go back. period. don't ever forget your detox and the pain you went through--gain strenghth from that. every day brings on new challenges and we need to learn to live life on life's terms--


right now i'm fighting the blahs and i know myself enough to get moving instead of wallowing in self pity. our brain needs to start making it's own NATURAL endorphins because we used artifcial endorphins for so long that our brains have literlly shut down.

as far as what is the motivation? life, not being tied to a bottle of pills, no more counting and worrying that we'll run out, spending all the money (that's for me-always paid for mine), waking up dope sick ***** and now i wake up feeling good, and the sense of pride that i feel for conquering my demons--there's nothing better than that! so please hang in there and have Faith in God that it will get better. good luck and God Bless.  Lisa