Intervention

[Teetime4u]

As most of you all know, my daughter is addicted to opiates and using the needle. What my question is is how do you do an intervention?? What is the best  method and how do I aproach the subject. I know she has to go on her own, but it is out of control and I am trying to figure out a way to push her possibly over the edge? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks and God Bless!

[MZLAUREL]

So
LMNO
You just said what I said.... She needs boundaries. But she still needs appropriate love and attention.
If she asks for something she can't have say NO... But you can have a free trip to a spa rehab.... Boundaries.

[el_em_en_oh]

If you're enabling her in any way, that has to stop, first and foremost. Cut her off at the nutz and stop giving her anything or doing anything for her that'll keep her in her addiction. I know it's easier said than done, but it's something you're going to have to do.

[Teetime4u]

I will definately not jump the gun to soon, with an intervention. She tells me she wants to get clean, usually while she is trying to get money off me or enroute to her dealer. So right now I honestly think it is mostly smoke. She is using pills and shooting them up. So she is very far into her addiction. She has lied stolen lost all jobs she had blah blah blah. Its really bad. Thank You.
Islandcat,
   Thanks for sharing that saying, It is so true in every sense of the word. I am living it right now with my daughter. Thank You.

[el_em_en_oh]

MZLAUREL:
Once again, you're talking about parenting. We're not talking about a 'normal' child here. We're talking about an ADDICT. All parenting skills go out the window when you're dealing with an addict. You may have a 25-year old daughter, but unless she's an addict (and you just haven't told us about that yet), then I suggest you stop trying to hand out advice.

[islandcat]

you know mxlaurel we are not talking about a 6 year old here. It is impossible to win with an addict. Please read:
   What Addicts Do

My name's Jon. I'm an addict. And this is what addicts do. You cannot nor will not change my behavior. You cannot make me treat you better, let alone with any respect. All I care about, all I think about, is my needs and how to go about fufilling them. You are a tool to me, something to use. When I say I love you I am lying through my teeth, because love is impossible for someone in active addiction. I wouldn't be using if I loved myself, and since I don't, I cannot love you.


My feelings are so pushed down and numbed by my drugs that I could be considered sociopathic. I have no empathy for you or anyone else. It doesn't faze me that I hurt you, leave you hungry, lie to you, cheat on you and steal from you.


My behavior cannot and will not change until i make a decison to stop using/drinking and then follow it up with a plan of action.


And until I make that decsion, I will hurt you again and again and again.


Stop being surprised.


I am an addict. And that's what addicts do

[MZLAUREL]

I am suggesting that she is seeking attention.
You said you gave her everyTHING... STUFF.
I am not suggesting you are a bad parent. I am suggesting that she may be more sensitive than you think.
That she needed more than you realized. Or that what she truely needed, she did not get.
If you give a child something they have a tantrum about, you are not teaching them the difference between want and need.
And the thing they are having a fit to have, is not what they need. They need boundaries.
I have a daughter that is 25. She does not want to be my best friend. I don't want to be hers. I am her Mom. I love her more than life itself.
I was willing to go to prison for life, to protect my girl, and 20 years of my life parenting her, too.
My point is, all the STUFF she ever had, was no replacement for "NO". And my daughter expressed that to me.