So lost....

[scared2death22]

I don't know what to do.  i am going to lose everything because of a stupid pill.  Most days, I don't want to even get outta bed and go to work if I don't have any.  And then trying to fall asleep at night if I havent take one?  Forget about it!  It's nearly impossible, I toss and turn and just sit there, thinking about ow I'm going to get up and go to work the next day.  This isn't me, but then again, I don't even know who I am anymore.  What do I do? I feel so lost.

[tired_of_oxy]

Yep addiction has a way of sneaking up on you. I think most of us here thought we had it "under control" until we realized we were the ones being controlled by a pill.

Honestly the best way out of it is THROUGH it. I'm talking about biting the bullet and going cold turkey. Clear your schedule for at least a week (the withdrawls mimic the flu so you can call in with a really bad case of the flu) and get the stuff for the Thomas recipe (it's posted on the lower right hand side of the forum) and ride out the withdrawls. The wds last about a week with days 3-5 generally being the worst. Then your done with the physical hold pills have on you. Imagine being able to get through your day without pill counting, scrounging up money so you don't get sick and all the other crap we addicts do to feed the beast. It's possible and very doable. But you have to go through some pretty rotten physical crap to get there but once you do YOUR DONE and you NEVER have to do it again as long as you stay away from pills. Which brings me to the next step in breaking your addiction. You'll need to get some kind of aftercare. Whether it be NA meetings or a therapist or even both! AFTERCARE IS ESSENTIAL in staying clean. It took my stubborn self two years and two relapses and so much needless suffering to figure out for myself what people told me all along - that we can't do this alone! We need real life support to stay clean and to address the issues that led us to self medicate to begin with. That's how we can start truly recovering. Addiction is a mind, body and soul disease and stopping the physical intake of drugs is just one part of recovery. The main thing that will help us stay clean is getting help after we quit.

You CAN do this and from where I stand you have a lot going for you. Your young (young people tend to bounce back quicker in general) you haven't been an addict for very long so your brain will heal faster then someone who's been addicted for many years and mostly you seem very motivated to get clean. That's very important because you really have to want this. I've heard it said that if the desire to get clean outweighs the desire to get high, if even just a little, then you WILL make it. You'd have a ton of support here and between this forum and some real life aftercare your on your way back to freedom!!

Your at a crossroads now, you have some big decisions to make. One road is the road to despair (continued pill taking) and the other road is to your salvation. Choose life! And praying helps. I'm not a church goer but I strongly believe in God and the power of prayer. God does not let us down, he helps those who help themselves. You CAN and WILL do this and you'll have lots of support on the way. But it's you that has to make the decision to stop the madness and take your life back.

[scared2death22]

Thank you for the positive comments! For almost a year now I've been taking hydros and percs. It used to be no big deal if I didnt take one every day, but now one day without a pill feels like eternity. I've almost lost my boyfriend and job because of pills. I just want it all to go away, but how do I do that?

[gizzy32]

Welcome to the forum. What pills are you taking and how much and for how long? I know it seems impossible right now, but it's not! We have all been there feeling like we have to use to get through the day and it consumes us. The fact you posted tells me you do want to quit and you can do this is you want it bad enough.

There are so many success stories here and living life clean and sober is so much better than being a prisoner to drugs. Depending on what your taking, the worst of the w/d's usually last 3-5 days, but everyone is different. You came to a great place for support. Come up with a plan on how you want to go about this and we will be here to help.

[IBKleen]

Hi,

Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. Members here are going through, or have gone through, what you are right now and we can help you to get off and stay off.

I also have a few questions: Have you ever gone through withdrawal before? Do you think you would want to taper down or go ct? We can explain pretty close to what the withdrawal will feel like and we can help and support you as you come off with home remedies and natural supplements.

I hope you stick around. This is very doable and you can have your life back!!!

[dominosarah]

Hi and welcome to the forum~~

Could you give us a little more info on what you are taking?  We are here to support you and will help you find yourself again.  We have all been where you are at.        sara