Why was quiting easier this time?

[throwindatowl]

  After 36 days of no opiates Im starting to wonder why Ive made it this far. Why arent the craving killing me? Im not thinking about it all the time. Im sure after all my relapses Ive had to learn something. Maybe thats it. The only thing Ive done different this time is in my heart I wanted to quit. My soul was screaming at me to stop. I listened. I know others feel the same way and its not easy. Today Ill thank god and all who pray for me because someones got my back this time. Oh I have done other things different. I forgot the first couple of weeks. This may help some. On the weekends-trigger for me a gave up my phone at night. I only used at night to get high. Shoot, My phone took a dive and I have a new number. No tempting texts from dealers. I listened at my na mtgs! I shut my mouth. Things are different this time. I dont think it all had to do with me either but Ill take it...!  Im soooooo weak and have used drugs for 17 years. If I can at least make it this far, anybody can do this. We all have our own quit times that stick for whatever reason. I hope this is mine and if your quiting or thinking about it. Try, It might be your time too. Thanks for your prayers everyone because I felt them and they are working!!! Ive been trying to return the favor to others...

[eyeofhorus2010]

The reason it's sticking this time? You said it yourself " In my heart I wanted to quit".

That was the same emotion that came over me too. When it did, it made not taking them so easy. And once my head cleared I was left with a feeling of having been in a dream the whole time. I mean... I literally asked myself " What the hell was that all about". I looked back and thought "what was I thinking all this time".  Staying clean (almost 90 days now) has been a breeze this time. I usually started using again after 4 or 5 weeks and I missed them the entire time until I would just start again.

This time I wasn't missing them and that 4 to 6 week mark came and went with no problems. Something clicks in our hearts and minds and that's when we finally and truly admit that yes we are addicts but it has to stop. I think about them rarely now.

Those that relapse haven't yet had that moment of clarity like you finally had. Good job to you. This is the one that sticks.

[j34]

and of course this site! it has truly helps me

[j34]

That is such a heart warming post thank you for sharing from your heart!! Take it as your true gift that has been freely given! what a blessing , we and so many others are blessed just for today ,the fellowship rocks ....hugs and blessings ps I relapsed after a yr clean , i forgot my last using day ..a little birdy told me to remind you of that lol  have a great night!!

[fluffy215]

Congratulations
You are doing great! I believe everyone has to have it in there heart to quit and to want it. I mean really want it. I was unsuccesful for 20 yrs. I finally hit "my rock bottem" I took me OD on heroine twice to finally seek help. It's crazy I know, the first time it happened I denied in my head that it was the heroin, I mean c'mon 1 injection of Narcon and I came out of it. Talk about instant withdrawals. I left the hospital the next day and shot up again. I OD 3mo. later, this time I had to be "brought back to life, Paddles the whole nine yards, thats when I finally woke up. If you have read any of my posts you know I'm tapering off methadone and won't feel clean until I am off of it. However I guess it did save my life, I couldn't go through the terrible sickness from heroin, did pain meds until I got into methadone treatment, they make you wait 2 weeks. Anyhow enough about me. Keep up the good work, you can do it!