Methadone withdrawal

[meganb045]

Hello I've been tapering off methadone for a year and 3 months. I started at 140 now at 8mg. Well since I got down in the 20's I've been very sick. I am sick all day but it's worse I think early evening, all night and most the morning. I don't really know what I should do at this point a part of me says I should just get off now at 8 because I'm so sick all the time anyway, which I really don't think mentally that would bug me. I just don't know how to manage these withdrawals I mean I feel like major crap. My stomach hurts even after drinking water right now, my anxiety is through the roof shaking all day so uncomfortable. I am not sleeping at night either. I've tried over the counter sleep aids to.  I'm pretty much here looking for advice. Thank you

[Soulscapex]

Hello , meganb congrats on wanting to get off , when i detoxed i jumped off at 7.5 mgs , they say once you get to 5mgs theres not much of a difference , in the wds, a few things to help you out, Protein shakes, daily vitamins, calcium and magnessium supplements, hot baths, exercise when possible and some good music. I would recommend taking the vitamins way before getting off , as it seemed to help me alot, try to eat healthy meals. for the sleep side of it i just used melatonin , and for any anxiety i used velarian root. Keep in mind the wds, will end, really at this point i would say get down to 5mgs then jump, but when i was at 7.5 i was stable and not sick, i never felt any of my taper. everyone is a bit different tho.
God Speed

[JWProudDad]

You've been sick since the 20mgs, and continue to be so, you may want to stop. As long as you continue to take it, you will be sick. You're body is telling you it needs more than you're giving it. Cut it out, it get the point. Feed it little by little it wants more. You're options are, take it back up to 25 or 30 to stop the sickness, then taper a little slower from that point forward, or stop it completely. Seems you're prolonging your sickness by continuing to dose. Not sure how long you're in now, or if you work, but if you don't have to work, I would highly recommend just cutting it off, find a nitch on your couch, and let that all come out. I was at 120 mgs before I lost my job and couldn't afford to go anymore and had to stop immediately. My last dose was November 1st and I have relatively minor symptoms at this point. Hang in there Megan! You can get those liquid handcuffs off and live a normal life. Soulscapex gave some very solid advice on some ways to alleviate some of the symptoms. I'm not sure I want to mention what I did, because it's counter-productive for some, but my willpower has been strong enough to prevent relapse so far. But if it helps, 23 days after final dose of 120mgs of Methadone, I was helping to cook thanksgiving dinner and with a smile on my face.    

[meganb045]

So I've been coming down since June 2015 so it's a year and a half slowly now. My RN at my clinic has not been helpful during this process. When I started getting sick I asked for colonadine not sure how to spell
It exactly but she told laughed at me and told me no then processed to tell me that she wanted to keep a journal about my taper because she's never heard of a person being sick when there still in the 20 mg range.

[gnarly_1]

hi megan....well congrats for starting to get off the methadone....just know all that you go threw will be worth it...I was on 150 for almost 7 yrs and I to had problems around 20 mg...one thing that helped me was a 3 in one vitamin calcium/magnesium zinc....you can get a big bottle at walmart for 6 bucks start taking 4 with breakfast and4 with dinner in a few days you will notice a difference   methadone robs your body of these critical minerals and it makes the withdrawal that much worst you almost to the jump off point I recommend 5 as your goal because tapering below that is miserable....just know there is light at the end of the tunnel and where here for you  keep posting for support we will walk you threw the whole process
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Gnarly<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

[meganb045]

Thank you

[Kelcoo]

Hi Megan.  I am on day four of no methadone.  I went low and slow. Jumped at 1. Ml. Was at 2.5 for months.  I am feeling a bit slow but good other than that. I also sleep. This is my first time going low and slow. Usually I jump at a higher dose and have felt bad. Let your body get use to the drop before going down again. IMO

[meganb045]

My biggest issue is I stopped at 12 to see if I would stabilize and I never really did. So I feel like my body's not really reacting anymore to it. Idk it's so hard.. I truly feel I am a strong mental person with this but now that I no my last dose is coming Thursday I'm getting myself worked up. I'm going out of town this weekend to so that's adding stress because I know I'll be very sick by Sunday. I'm not sure if I should try to get something for my anxiety or not just for like 30 days I feel like I can't breath sometimes and I'm shaking non stop. I wasn't expecting to be be so anxious and not sleeping even with a sleep aid. Sorry I'm just really getting out the stuff in my head so I'm rambling on.

[JWProudDad]

There's a product called "Kratom" It's a southern Asian plant. It's sold in head shops and has been known to help a lot of people. Search it, it may be your way out, not sure though.

[meganb045]

I'll look it up now thanks!

[meganb045]

Hmm I looked it up makes me a little nervous have you taken it? Do you know much about it?

[JWProudDad]

Yes Megan, currently using Kratom actually. I was on 120 mgs of liquid handcuffs. Lost my job and could no longer afford the clinic, so I stopped 1 year of Methadone use (8 months at 120 mgs) instantly. I began to take oxycodones from my doctor to deal with w/d which worked well. November 1st was my last dose of methadone, November 21st was my last oxy. Since then, I've used Kratom. It has been great for keeping my mood elevated and w/d in check. W/D not gone though, I have sore legs, and minor fatigue, but I happily go to work (construction trade) and can function through the day. Not my first rodeo with this. Only problem with it is tolerance builds quickly, but also subsides quickly. It's a good bandade, but only use it as such. I'm finishing mine tomorrow and am done.

[Davidmel]

Listen to Soulscape and Gnarly! Im tapering town 5mg per week... only been on Methadone for 6 mos and only got up to 75. Im diwn to 45. No issues. I broke the cycle of buying pills and getting high. Now im sixk of going to a clinic; arent you? There has to be more to life than this. Im considering anti-depressants. The Thomas recipe helped when I tried to get off pills. Good luck ❤️❤️

[meganb045]

Good luck to you to. Hope it works out well for you!  

[meganb045]

I'm definitely sick of going to the clinic ugh lol I like the Thomas Recipe only thing is getting my doctor to give me Valium or something for my anxiety and sleep. I figure I'll just ask her for two weeks worth and see if she's ok with that. Benzos really were never my thing so that's good atleast but still who knows if I can talk her into it. She's very anti medication which I love about her but not in this moment lol how are you feeling so far coming down? I was at 140 and I first came down 10mg three times then switched to coming down 5mg at a time to 2mg at a time. I went and talked to my councilor last week and she knew I was having really bad anxiety without me telling her and I'm never usually like this. I deal with depression but I've never really had anxiety it's terrible I feel for anyone who deals with it on a regular basis. This feeling of not being able to breath sometimes and the shaking all day is driving me nuts lol I know I can do this but I don't like feeling like my clinic just wanted me gone they are not helpful when it comes to detox. They kinda say ohh well when you say how sick you are. They wouldn't even prescribe me colonidine which is for high blood pressure but I read on here that it helps with the anxiety part of withdrawal. I had to go to my primary and have her prescribe it. I've been taking it for three weeks and it hasn't helped yet. Anyway hope your taper is going well so far.

[Davidmel]

I think im beginning to have a few chills at 45, but will continue to go down every monday 5mg...i see a counselor privately so someone in that office will prescribe what i need. The worst part is i teach and no one knows about my problem-not even my husband. I was never able to have kids... im going it alone and enjoy this site.
I have taken up horse riding lessons so that gives me something to do.

[meganb045]

Aww that's terrible being alone and going through this. That's gotta be hard to be a teacher and going through this.. ☹️️ My heart goes out to you. You can do it though def. how long have you been on methadone again? I've been on almost 5 years so I think my withdrawals are going to take awhile to go away. That's good that with your councilor they will give you something for the anxiety hun. That's been one of my biggest issues the anxiety. Donyou think you may slow down the taper a little if you start getting really sick? Like to 2mg a week or every other? For me even doing 2mg every two weeks I was or am sick. My rn at my clinic tried to make me feel like my withdrawals were in my head and told me that she was gonna write a journal about my taper because she's never had a patient be sick in the 20mg range.

[JWProudDad]

I don't personally know the feeling of tapering, as I stopped immediately, but I know the program at my clinic brought the tapering to a slow crawl at 20 mgs because this is really when it begins to hurt. Down 5 mgs a week till 20 mgs, then 2.5 per month. So that tells me that w/d starts to really grab hold at 20 mgs or less and everyone has w/d symptoms at that level. There's nothing wrong in your head, only the rn's.

[Davidmel]

I ve been on it since may-7 months. I did it because i couldn't afford the pills anymore. Glad i did cause it bbroke the cycle, but hate going to clinic every morning!
My clinic only deals with 5mgs....

[JWProudDad]

Wow! The clinic I went to started you at 30 mgs! I believe I've successfully broken my liquid handcuffs and have escaped the clinic prison, but I'm a work in progress. Going an hour drive to the clinic everyday sucked!

[meganb045]

Yes I remember having to go to the clinic every day, it sucked.  I was going once a week last week was my last week going there and Thursday is my last dose. I'm a little nervous for the full blown withdrawals but I know I can do it. I already feel crappy but now it will be the full on withdrawals. Good times.

[Davidmel]

Megan, i'll bet u wont have "full blown wds." ... not with a taper. I cant go to na or aa, since i live in a small town and teach everyone/or their kids... thank goodness for this website.
Everyone-ya'll are the best for responding... we need eachother!

[Davidmel]

Jwproudad..i cant even imagine driving an hour for that little teaspoon of relief.. thats dedication!

[gnarly_1]

Hi Megan.....well I just wanted to check up on you so far so good.....try not to let fear into the equation it will only make your anxiety worst....it always is worst in our heads them it turns out to be...the best thing you can do is try to keep a positive attitude...I have said this a million time but '''you just got to be ok without being ok for a wile''... My taper took 8 1/2 months coming off a 7 yr habit at 150mg....it was a lot faster then the clinic wanted but if they had it there way it would have took almost 2 yrs.....I have helped a lot of people off this drug for the last 6 yrs   on this forum....no 2 withdrawals are the same....we have a equation we use it is how long you have been on it... at what dose... and your age.... so for me the cards where stacked ageist me I was on it a long time close to 7years I was on a high dose 150mg and was 47 when I detoxed...my clinic even told me that because of all this I should be a methadone pacent for the rest of my life and trying to quit was a bad idea...I even had to sign a paper that said I was going ageist the doctors recommendation so they where no help at all...as for how your final detox will go....well because your already sick...(so was I) it dident make much of a difference it takes around 10 days to 2 weeks to detox off this drug....my anxiety went threw the roof and sleep as all but impossible even with prescription medication....it is not so much the severity of the withdrawal but the long recovery time that makes this the hardest of all the opiets to detox from....I remember telling my substance abuse counselor....'''I should be doing a hellava lot better for 60 days clean''...it seamed hopeless to me....it took me a good 90 days  to even start to get better so you have to be in this for the long haul...it is all about perseverance and resolve in the end....just know you will recover and every thing you go threw is so so worth it when you find recovery...this is 1/3 physical and 2/3 mental....the next critical step is aftercare...I have tryed most.. first the pastor at my church... then a substance abuse counselor... then a addiction therapist....but it was the rooms of N/A that gave me my life back...the program is free...the meetings are only a hour long and it will give you some place to share where the people will understand what your going threw...it is that support that got me threw all of this...today I still go to several meetings a week...the program will give you structure in your life...something most addicts dont have.....it is a simple program that treats the  addict that is alive and well in your head long after the drugs stop.....go to meetings get a sponcer and work the 12 steps and with time you will loose the very desire to use....something I thought was impossible..I cannot not speak more highly of a program so google a N/A meeting near you...step out of your comfort zone and go...it is the single best thing you can do for your recovery...just know where hear for you so post and post some more...we have a lot of members who have recovered from this drug so hang in there....there is light at the end of the tunnel..I will pray for you.....>>>>>>>>>>Gnarly<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

[Soulscapex]

You got this megan, listen to Gnarly , he helped me get off , and im now 207 days clean. What he says about fear and positive attitude is so true. He helped me find the strength inside me. Just like i know you have. we are here to help anyway we can. i come and check everyday this is part of my recovery trying to help others off of this drug. It does get better , i use to say well ,my life is just fine when i was on it, but when i got off and a few months had passed , i look at life in a new way. i was free for the first time in 9 years.

keep us updated
GOD SPEED

[meganb045]

Thank you for the great advice! I truly appreciate it!

[gnarly_1]

hi Megan....how    you doing????...how are the withdrawals going???  OOO and the million dollar questing  what is your dose???? your getting pritty low so the end is near....have you started the 3 in 1 vitamins yet???...today I just want to encourage you....as tuff has it been you have been able to handle it  but I know I grew weary...there was a couple of people that where there on the forum for me when I detox....I found it priceless it is one of the main reasons I became a community leader here on medhelp...that and how we put it in N/A...''you cant keep it unless you give it away''  just know your not alone in this ...let us know what withdrawal symptoms are the most bothersome to you we have a lot of home cures that we can suggest.....the anxiety was one of my worst symptoms like your having....there are a couple of good teas out there one is yogi brand...'''stress relief''  my favorite is ''traditional medicinal's'' sleepy time it not only helps with sleep but it is also good for anxiety just seap 2 bags for 20 min  you can get it at walmart for 5 bucks....the trick is finding it there  sometimes they got it with the rest of the tea's they cary  other time it is in with the vitamins and herbal stuff so you have to look for it   this is a must have...now for the general body aches a hot soak in a epsom salt bath will help   if you have access to a Jacuzzi use it there ausum....try your best to keep a positive attitude it makes the difference between being uncomfortable or suffering....suffering is a choice....  please post some more details on how things are going....we cant help if we dont know....OOO how old are you....it makes a big difference in detoxing...anyway your going to be in my wife and my Prayers daily....if you believe in God  prayer is one of the best weapons ageist this...  hang in there the end is so close you can taste it
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Gnarly<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

[meganb045]

Hello, so today's my last dose and I'm at 8mg. I am 29 I've been on the clinic almost 5 years now. My worst feelings are the anxiety, stomach hurting and feeling nauseous.. ☹️️ I bought the vitamins and have started them. I also bought Valerin root to I can't really say it's helped much. Hate the anxiousness and my irritability there both pretty constant. Feels like there's bugs under my skin a lot and I run my hands together really hard to try to make that weird feeling go away. The best way I can describe it is like there's a bunch of energy or electricity bottled up in my arms and hands and the only way they feel a little better is when I rub my hands together. Don't know if that makes since or not.

[gnarly_1]

Hi Megan....well the ''creepy crawles'' as I call them are ruff  but if you have a regular doctor be honest with him and tell him what your doing....ask him for a drug called ''clonadine''  it is a old school blood pressure med that really helps the crawling skin feeling  also most people have elevated blood pressure wile detoxing...so 2 good reasons for him to give it to you.....now what your also describing is restless limbs....it is very common most people get it in the legs but I to experienced it in my arms also go to walgreens and pick up a homeopathic bottle of ''highlands restful legs'' it is all natural so you cant take 2 much and it works wounder for restless limbs....again you have to look for it it comes in a really small bottle like 1/2 in round and 2in long  you can ask if you dont find it  this is a real life saver the restlessness usually gets worst b/4 it gets better so get up there today  it is only a couple of bucks so it wont break the bank..as for the anxiety  try the teas I recamended just know your going to get threw this  keep posting where hear for you
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Gnarly<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

[Soulscapex]

You got this megan, i can vouch for the highlands , i took it also , you get alot in the bottle , still have it, as for the anxiousness , try not to think to much about all thats goin on , or what might happen , cause it may never. i suffered from bad panic attacks so like most i worried it would get worse when i detoxed, but in fact i got better i havent had a panic attack since before i jumped, i think my last one i can remember is the day of my last dose.
Find some calming music, put some headphones on , and when your mind starts to wonder on worrying about this, just remember you are strong, you can make it through anything.

[meganb045]

So I was put on clonodine three weeks ago and I haven't noticed a difference in the anxiety but I went to my doctor yest for a check in on how it was working and I told her everything she's very understanding so that's good. She gave me anxiety medication as a prn when needed for two weeks. She also have me lexapro she thinks it might help I guess. So I'll try it. Creepy crawlers that's a perfect name for how I feel. A lot of times it feels like someone is sitting on my chest and I can't breath. I used to deal with a lot of depression and anxiety so I've been on lexapro before but not sure if it helped because it was so long ago. I will add in here since I've been tapering down I've lost 76 pounds. I gained 100 pounds on the clinic and now it's falling off I don't work out and i haven't changed my eating habits so it's def the methadone.  My clinic still won't admit it was the methadone that made me gain all that weight. My thyroid is now hypothyroidism and I've never had any issues like that before. I have an off topic question though have any of you had issues with Novocain working at the dentists since being on methadone? I never had an issue before but now Novocain doesn't work on me I say through three fillings feeling every part of it. They gave me the max Novocain to. So now I have to be sedated just to get fillings. Just thought that was weird how suddenly it doesn't work. I'm headed to Connecticut today for a weekend at my family's that have no idea what I'm going through but I have high hopes it will be fine.

[Soulscapex]

I dont think its the methadone that makes people gain weight , its the sugar cravings,  as for the thyroid my therapist was once a methadone patient and she told me she did research that there is a link between methadone and it, she now has to take thyroid med.  Maybe this is a good time to fill in your family , on whats going on, support is key.

[gnarly_1]

hi Megan....well a big CONgRATS on  your  last dose!!!!  just know you will be fine....most people dont feel it for a couple of days because of the long 1/2 life of this drug...keep us posted on your symptoms we will try to help...do your best to not let fear in....remember it is always worst in our heads then it turns out to be as for getting threw it....it is all about a positive attitude...soulscapex is a expert in this no mater how lousy he felt he dident complain....and it helped...remember to take a hot soak...it really helps most of the symptoms you  may need several a day...try to get a support system working a good friend or family is a huge help...it is ok to pamper yourself wile going threw this force the fluids eat heathy even if your not hungry and try to stay a wake during the day it will help with sleep at night....force yourself to get out of the house for fresh air and exorcise.. walking is good  it would also be helpful to try to get to a N/A meeting....the people there will understand what your going threw and there support would be huge just let them know your detoxing off methadone anny way your in my prayers keep posting here Im in phoenix az so when it is 11 pm here it is really late on the east coast I will try to check up on your....YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Gnarly<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

[meganb045]

Thank you so much for your support and kind words. I was away at the family weekend I told you about the past two days but I am home now. I haven't felt the full withdrawals hit yet I don't think because I feel about the same maybe a little worse. Stomachs starting to hurt a lot. I'm actually excited to be off the clinic I just no I have to keep an eye on my mental stuff and keep things in check. Don't want to let my mind wander on me and get caught up in my thoughts. I plan to start my baths tomorrow to help with my muscles. Trying to explain how I feel to my fiancé has been hard. He originally said he'd help out and be supportive but I don't think he's fully understanding and he's not helping much with house work and things. So I keep becoming very overwhelmed recently.

[Kelcoo]

Hi Megan.  How are you this morning.  I have been following your posts.  You are very courageous and you gave me courage during my jump.  Everyone has given solid advice.  Take it one day at a time....peace

[meganb045]

Well that makes me so happy to hear I helped you a little. How are you feeling? I just got home from my weekend in Connecticut with family and it went good I tried not to think about the withdrawals. This week I believe will be challenging for me but I believe I can push thru as long as I keep positive and keep busy as much as I can. I do have to say I'm so excited to honestly finally be done with my clinic.

[meganb045]

With the methadone weight gain thing I honestly and this is just my pets

[meganb045]

Sorry I sent that before I was done and could correct my auto correct as I started saying though I honestly think my weight gain was the methadone because since I started tapering I haven't changed my eating habits or started working out and I've lost 76 pounds. If I had changed what I was eating and started working out then I would think it was just the sweets but I still eat sweets and I'm dropping weight like crazy, that's just my personal experience though.

[meganb045]

With my weight gain once I started tapering down I started dropping weight like crazy 76 pounds now I'm down and I haven't changed my eating habits and I don't work out. So for me I no my weight gain was the methadone. I do no other people though who say they eat nothing but junk so that probably doesn't help them. I just no that I haven't changed anything except my methadone. I'm still losing a couple pounds a month now and not trying to at all. Lol

[Soulscapex]

hows the detox goin,  hope all is well, ive been getting into fitness alot lately, and one thing i learned is , you either have to have a change in diet, less calories or exercise to remove body fat.  Drink lots of water thru your detox it will help. keep doin what you are doin, its working for you.

[gnarly_1]

hi Megan....well so far so good....I have helped a lot of people off this drug.....for those that where experiencing withdrawal symptoms at the end of there taper....it is usually no worst in your final detox....for me the only thing I notest  was my anxiety got a bit worst and it was impossible for me to sleep....I was a lot like you in the withdrawals where full on in the end of my taper...let us know what symptoms are bothering you we have a lot of home cures that can help....no to detoxes are the same so dont read anything into it  just go with it as they come.....once you get threw the next 10 days to 2 weeks you can begin healing....you have been doing really great so just keep doing what your doing...dont get frighted  by a bad day you will get them...but that is just what it is a bad day it does not represent the rest of your recovery as time goes by you will get a lot more good days....the one thing in common no mater how your detox goes is the ''energy crash''' it in itself can be debilitating...as much as it seams impossible exorcise helps a lot....my wife made sure we walked every day and each day a little farther that and getting fresh air helps...you beat this thing in baby steps and recovery is very suttle it is good to keep a ''recovery log'' that way you can see improvements it really helps on those days where you just want to give up it is great your B/F is supportive but if he is a ''normie'' no mater how he tryes he wont fully understand.....N/A is a hugev help you will have a room full of people that get it and can help please give this a try...it is ok to be scard on your first meeting most people are...all you have to do is just sit a listen ...you will realize your not the only one that thinks the way we do....recovery is possible anyway keep us up to date where here for you
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Gnarly<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

[meganb045]

Thank you your words mean a lot to me. I have done NA before and I agree it won't hurt to go again for awhile. Today wasn't to bad of a day honestly. I'm trying to take it one day, one hour at a time. Sometimes one minute at a time. I will say though I wish I could take off to a retreat some where for a couple weeks because having my 4 year old while trying to do this has been hard. She's the most amazing girl but she's stubborn like her mom.

[gnarly_1]

hi Megan...how you doing today??? you seem to have the  right idea about taking it one day one hour one minute at a time.....methadone is very cyclic and the withdrawals come in waves....first your ok  then not so much then it is like pulling teeth you just got to go with it and let it run it coarse...how is your anxiety??? and are you sleeping??? those 2 things where tuff for me  remember a hot soak in epsom salt will help a lot when your whole body hurts.....just know you got this!!!!! just hang in there your doing great so far  keep posting for support
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Gnarly<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

[meganb045]

Good morning hope your doing well today. I have to say this morning I feel very sick, feel like crap. Head feels funny, shaking and just plain uncomfortable. Very anxious and sleeping has been hard. I bought unisom and that seems to help some. My daughter is home sick to she has pink eye and an ear infection!

[meganb045]

I took a bath last night like you said it was helpful. I've been taking the Valerian root doesn't seem to help though.

[gnarly_1]

hi Megan...Im doing fine thanks for asking....so ok today is a bad day....I have said this a million times... but you just got to be ok without being ok for a wile.... just keep telling yourself these feelings are only temporary and better day's are ahead ....I still remember all to much the hell I went threw getting off this drug...try to get bizzy doing something you like to do even if it is just listing to music...get out side and enjoy the fresh air rent some funny moves humor is a great cure right no we need to work on keeping your attitude good you have had a  positive attitude right along and that is great now the chips are down and it can be harder....remember it will make the difference of being uncomfortable or suffering suffering is a choice...ok the sleep deal....I ish I had a solution but even perscriton drugs wont hep this problem  I thought I was going to go mad....your just going to have to get by on cat naps for the near future....I found a nice hot soak b/4 bed and a cup of traditional madisanal sleepy time tea worked the best you can get it at walmart for 4 bucks just seap 2 bags a full 20 min again all where trying to do here is get you cat naps ...if you believe in God I found prayer to help... a lot of our members pray for you my self included....just know your going to make it no mater how lousy you feel....the end result is so so worth it................YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>GNARLY<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

[meganb045]

Thank you! Trying to stay positive I get myself stressed out a lot when I realize I haven't done anything really all day and I no my fiancé is at work and will be home and give me crap about not getting stuff done. That's stressful for me. I tried talking to him but unless you've gone thru it I guess it's hard to get. So now it's 1:42pm and he will be home at 2:45 and I'm trying to find motivation to get up and do dishes and vacuum and laundry and pick something to make for dinner so he's not upset with me and I'm finding it hard to want to move honestly. But I'll work thru it and push myself it's what I have to do!

[meganb045]

So yesterday was the worst it's been, I feel like death right now... it's horrible. Ready to stop feeling like this definitely.. yesterday I also woke up with bad sore throat I looked at my throats and I have big white puss looking spot on the back of throats and tonsils. Went to doctor didn't come up positive for strep throat so she didn't give me an antibiotic.

[Soulscapex]

What day you on, sorry bout the sore throat , hope you feel better. Just keep hanging in there , it will get better, i know we as addicts want instant gratfication , but it takes time for our bodies to heal. Just keep reminding yourself this will end. congrats on you clean time. You got this.

[gnarly_1]

hi Megan....just thought I would check up on you....so it sounds like you hit a strong low.....for early recovery it sometimes goes like this so what your experiencing is normal  this drug is very cyclic and the withdrawals come in waves..... just when you think you got it beat it comes back  with a vengeance just know better days are ahead.... one thing that happens to all of us detoxing  is your body's immune system takes a hit and you find your self sick....again it is normal just hang in there  in 10 days to 2 weeks you will be over the physical withdrawal....did you try the tea I suggested ??? if not do so it really is a great all natural sleep aid and works for most our members anyway post to let us know how your doing and what symptom's are a problem.....again try your best to keep a positive attitude it is the single best thing you can bring to the table...remember you just got to make it threw today and your symptoms can do a 180 and turn for the good.....hope you get over the throat thing soon keep posting for support where hear for you
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Gnarly<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

[gnarly_1]

Het Magan.....how you doing today.....please post to keep us up to date.....we cant help if we dont know  looking forward to your next post
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Gnarly<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

[Fancytail82]

It can be done! If you can find a doctors to give you any benzo and clonodine. Take those for three days and watch the magic.  Grab some ginseng.  Take an empsom salt bath.  You can do it!

[meganb045]

Hello guys sorry I was out of town over the weekend with my mom so wasn't online much. So a friend gave me Kratom? And said that would help with some symptoms so I used it over the weekend and I felt actually pretty good. But like you say it comes in waves so I'm not positive if it help or if I was just having two good days lol anyway today I'm hurting though and cold chills body hurts. I bought and am drinking the tea and taking the vitamins.

[Soulscapex]

Great to hear from you , keep it up . one day at a time. Be careful with the Kratom , as it has its own addictive properties , and can cause wds in of it self, you dont want to end up fighting wds from something else. keep positive.

[meganb045]

Ohh really? I didn't no that... ☹️️ Thank you though for telling me.

[gnarly_1]

Hi Megan I just thought I would check up on you.....well your beating this thing one day at a time....at this stage it is all about resolve and perseverance.....I say this often...it is not so much the severity of the withdrawal but rather the duration of time it takes to recover.....as for the kratom it is addictive like Solscapex said so we cant recamend it here on the forum....with that said it does bring some releaf to the symptoms when you just cant take any more.......if it is a choice between going back to the needle or pills it is better then that just use caution and dont use it every day....im glad you got out with your mom it is so critical to get family involved as part of your recovery program just keep in mind if there ''normies'' you will always get that '''deer in the  headlight stare....no mater how much they try they just cant get it......this is where programs like A/A or N/A come in....I cant over emphasize how critical aftercare is you need to build a support system b/4 you need it.....when it is 3am and a handful of pills start to look like a good option call someone B/4 you pick up....how is sleep going??? and also are you eating well..no junk food lean proteins like baked chicken or fish no red meat......the body takes time to rebuild right now you have no natural endorphins and you get ''rebound pain'' it is often more painful then the actual discomfort you would feel.....hang in there with time they will start to flow again......anyway please give us a update and if no one has said I love you to you today  this addict just did where all here for you
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Gnarly<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

[meganb045]

Thank you so much for your kind words. There very appreciated. I made arrangements for me to continue the clinic counceling for the next 6 months and I have a mental health counceling to that will continue to. I will start going to NA tomorrow morning at 9am. Every Friday they have a group, I'm def seeing the waves you spoke of. I feel ok not great but ok and the next day I feel really crummy. I have a pretty good support system in place, my fiancé and parents all no what's going on. They haven't been thru this but there open minded enough to listen to me and take the time out. My best friend came off methadone a couple years ago but she started using again so she is back on the clinic now. She is doing better. She understands more then anyone in my inner circle. She's a big part of my support system. I was up last night until one because I felt like I couldn't sleep but then when I laid down I couldn't sleep didn't fall asleep until 3 & just got up at 6 to get my daughter up and ready for school. So tired... I'll try again to sleep once her and my fiancé leave for school. Is it normal to have higher blood pressure and a faster heart beat during this? I feel like my heart is racing. I hate the hand shaking it drives me nuts. We're going today to my daughters Christmas concert. Then after that we're going to see Santa. I am excited for my daughter. I may not physically want to do it but in my head I do for her. Anyway thanks for the food tip I'll put it into play. Still taking my vitamins and the tea I've been drinking. Thank you for taking time out to post to me.