Is my head gonna make it?

[roosterdanger]

Cold turkeyed a 80mg+ oxy addiction that I've had for the last three years. I'm a 43 yr old male.  My physical symtoms peaked a few nights ago. My body. although tired, feels like it's getting better by the hour.  I'm worried if I'll ever feel normal emotionally again  Did I do brain damage.  Took a little walk today just as my pill source was driving down the street. The chills I got... I mean I really got chills. Big goose bumps. Is that nagging feeling gonna tug on me forever? My whole routine is shot and so much energy was spent securing my next doses. I'm kinda stuck in that place.  I'm just now wondering if the hardest part of this isn't just beginning. How the heck could I ever get a major surgery and deal with the pain?   That's whats on my chest at the moment.  Thanks for the place to put it.

[roosterdanger]

Thanks for the support everyone.   Things are looking up. Started amino acids yesterday.  Really started moving around yesterday and that helped too.  I never want to let something that hurts so bad happen if I can help it.  You know, I'm realizing all the issues I had when doped up.  Anxiety being the biggest, anxiety about having to go through  withdrawls was my biggest fear.  Today was sunny and I had a moment that was pretty awsome to me.  I appreciated the beauty of it without being high.  So much of my life revolved around my addiction, I never really appreciated the little things. It was on my mind 24/7.  I tell ya for me, it's real nice to not have that distraction.  I'm looking foreward to the on going battle with a certain amount of exitement to be honest. It's one thing I have to face and only I have the power to deal with it. It feel like such a victory to stop that I'm spurred on to defeating this completely.

[Calamity2]

The only thing that should be on your chest at the moment is a big medal..   You can NOT afford to be creating all these negative thoughts about bad things that could happen.  DO NOT allow yourself to entertain negative thoughts. REPLACE  them with any positive thought  I told my sponsor  waaahhhhh I cant think of anything positive.  So I had a assignment to look at people and think nice hair , nice watch ,  or I know I can do this ,  thank you God   get the idea ?  No negative thoughts allowed no matter how simple the thought you replace it with.
   On the topic of seeing your connection.  I NEVER got so many offers for free drugs as I did when I was getting clean.  I do believe in a higher power (God), I also believe there is a lower power who did not want to lose the destroying power drugs had on me and my family.

[gnarly_1]

hey dude what your feeling is pritty normal....its going to take a wile to get all your ducks in a row again....for the last 3ydrs your brain has not had to produce endorphins you where putting them there with the oxy...so its going to take a wile for it to start working naturally again....and yes the real battle starts after you detox....I call it the "mind screw" your mind goes all over the place with emotions that layed dormant wile you where using so you need to get some sort of help with this or relapse is almost a shure thing...most people find N/A or A/A or some sort of substance abuse conslor helpful in weeding out the tricks the mind plays with us ...this is a war one or lost in ones own mind...next will be rebound emotions where you over react to the slightest thing...this is all part of your brain coming back on line again....try not to get discouraged ..with time you will heal...it just seams slow going at first but as you gain clean time it dose get eazer also if you get aftercare you will learn how to deal with all this in a healthy fashion ...hang in there dude... you can do this you will have to cut tyes with your using friends and delete your dealers phone # there are certain things
that just have to be done otherwise everything you went thew will be in vein...
good luck and God bless....Gnarly    

[jamielynn777]

im 32 noxt month female 5th day off 8 year addiction that got up to 8 30mg oxycodone a day  
Havent slept in 105 hours ,,, hang in there just hate the drug that took you over and made you into a weak sick person  i find hatred of what it did to you and what cotrol it has over if you are sick or not  is a good way to overcome the jones...It's hard but stick with it...as what i keep telling myself this too shall pass.......i'm going to lay outside in a lawn chair with my ipod can't stand laying in bed or couch tv realy botherimg me.     Don;t worry about the surgery i had one a year ago and will have another one there are differnt combo than what your taking now and can tweak the way you take them dont worry about that now fear is a four letter word God bless you need to take amino acids and other supplements when better i can tell you were to find you can heal your brain u just have to replenish it...excersize to I know that sounds lame but it helps

[jamielynn777]

im 32 noxt month female 5th day off 8 year addiction that got up to 8 30mg oxycodone a day  
Havent slept in 105 hours ,,, hang in there just hate the drug that took you over and made you into a weak sick person  i find hatred of what it did to you and what cotrol it has over if you are sick or not  is a good way to overcome the jones...It's hard but stick with it...as what i keep telling myself this too shall pass.......i'm going to lay outside in a lawn chair with my ipod can't stand laying in bed or couch tv realy botherimg me.     Don;t worry about the surgery i had one a year ago and will have another one there are differnt combo than what your taking now and can tweak the way you take them dont worry about that now fear is a four letter word God bless