COME ON GUYS everyone really needs to agree to disagree !!This really has gone on long enough . We are all different people we see things different ways it makes us who we are . Celebrate that we are all different that we are here to help each other .Let the animosity go .....
Sigh what a terrible thread. Who cares whether you are dependent or addicted....I wish you all would read my posts . Love to all and good luck. I am going cold turkey after 20 something years of pain pills. I have terrible pain every day from a lot of diseses. My primary care doctor told me I would die of an overdose if I didn't stop the dilaudid, and muscle relaxers. Some days I was taking them every 2 hours ( on the advice of the doctor at the pain clinic that the primay care doctor sent me to)OMG doctors...I have a heart doctor a pain doctor a lung doctor a sleep doctor...and they all send their findings to my primary care doctor. I THINK I am an addict but who cares......I just wonder what is going to stop a really bad day of pain with out the dilaudid....I had worn it out....There is nothing stronger and I wouldn't want to go stronger. Yes I counted my pills...because I was afraid of the pain. Maybe if it comes back really hard I will just take a handful of some of my heart pills. I am on 18 different prescriptions a day......How can I feel sorry for any of you ....I never had the pleasrue of getting high off my drugs...but would do anything to get them because the pain is so bad. I am on day 11 of WD...and I am still shaking inside and out...that's why the typos.. By the wat I am almost 66 and agrandmother and great grand mother to 18. I have a loving husband ....and ya know what I love everyone of you ....I have gotten so much help here thank you Love Jerri
Well, I just read this entire post from the beginning, and I went through such a wide range of emotions. I started off thinking that Kecia was just kidding herself, and that it is so stupid to only take Sub when you feel like it and without a doctor's help. But as I read her words, my thoughts started to change. I realized that I was only jealous, because I wish that I had the strength to only stay on Sub for a few days, because my WD would be so much better. I completely understand why Kecia turned to Sub when she may not have needed it. People kept saying that because she did this, she must be more than physically addicted. That makes absolutely no sense. Withdrawals are painful, and they are exactly what drove me to the doctor to get my Sub script.
People keep asking what makes Kecia different. I will tell you exactly what makes her different. Kecia spent the year of her life that she was "addicted" lying in bed, with pain from kidney stones. She wasn't walking around, using pills, and feeling good enough to participate in activities. She was in hospitals receiving pain medication from doctors, and she didn't have a chance to develop an emotional connection to them. One of her earlier posts said that it wasn't even enough to take the pain away, so she continued to hurt. When her body started to heal from the kidney stones, and she was no longer in pain, SHE REACHED OUT TO HER DOCTOR to find out what needed to be done to get off the meds. SHE DID NOT DESIRE THEM for anything else, other than for pain, which was gone. IT WAS HER DOCTOR that turned her onto Suboxone.
THIS is how it is different. And if you are all jealous of that, as I am, then that is our problem. This girl is not heading for relapse, she is not heading for anything other than being completely fine. And the problem we all have with her is that WE wish we could feel that way. So congratulations Kecia!
Lordy bee....... heck. I am so lethargic today. I literally had to drag myself out of bed to get the little guy off to school. I was hoping that yesterday was the worst of it.... but apparently not. The cool thing is that I am not in any discomfort... just totally useless as a human being... ha. Oh well. What are you going to do? I'm about to head back to bed and see if a couple more hours of rest will help... but I'm doing ok other than that. Can't believe it's day 4. I feel sort stupid at the moment because I said some rather silly things in PM to someone who continued to berate me for what I believe about myself. It's just like... go deal with YOUR own issues and leave me the EF alone. Like I need THAT right now??? Hello.
So I feel like a big fat lump of grease wiggling in the bottom of a pan.... ewww... now that wasn't nice at all was it? But it's a good analogy.
Until later. Ciao.
Thanks... just got home from dinner. Is the appetite thing going to last long??? I suppose I could lose five or so pounds... but dang... I love to eat and I sure am missing FOOD right now. But nothing, and I mean, nothing sounds good and then when I try and eat... yuck.
So... I am thinking that tomorrow will be a good day. I'm going to try and go to bible study in the morning. After I get the little guy off to school, but not sure if I'll have the energy... although all the women in my study group are so amazing and so supportive, I'm sure they'll make me feel like a million bucks even if I showed up in sweat pants and ratty t shirt.
Until tomorrow.
Kecia
Got home real late tonite.....But as soon as i got home i jumped on line to see how you were doing......It is really awesome that things are working out for you.....I am 100% behind you....The more i read the messed up comments , the more i cheer for you...
The fact that you did all the things you did today makes it pretty clear that you are heading the right way.....
Your story really gives me hope....