Life is great now

[GreatLife]

I just wanted to post here and say how wonderfull this site has helped me. I have been coming here for months. I have never posted anything here but I did follow a'lot of other peoples advice and now I am 8 days clean and not having any more withdrawls. ( The first 3 days were hell).  I was taking Hydro's, Oxy's pretty much anything I can get my hands on. I was up to 90 mgs a day for almost 2 years. I tried tapering but knowing I had the pills I just had to take them, So I quit cold turkey with the thompson reciepe. IT WORKS. All I want to say is thanks for your posts as other people do read them and it does HELP.

[DSD]

Hi everyone. What is the Thomas Recipe I have read about here? Does anyone know specifically what it is and what it is supposed to do?  I am guessing there are many readers that would like to know besides me - so would someone please post more info on it.
Thank you

[Kat49]

Jenn, where have you been?  Concerned about you and hope you're doing OK.  Don't worry if all's you can do is ask questions!  Just post and tell us if you're OK.   Love, Kat

[freezing]

I've done the Thomas recipe.  The key is taking the L-tyrosine on an empty stomach, using the b6 to transport it through the brain lining.  If you have signigicant protein levels in your blood, the protein will compete against the L-tyrosine, rendering it inneffective.  When taken properly, it will boost your energy like speed.  If you take to much, you will get way tweeked, like too much adderal or similar, and get way anxious and feel bad.  8 days is great.  Consult a doctor about ssri's or ad's for impending depression, or hopefully, you;ll get lucky and not suffer through that long misery post detox.
Good luck.  

Anyone with methadone w/d  and/or freezing symptoms, and/or fingernail on chalkboard sensations in back from detox, please email me with insights at ***@****.
Thanks, and well wishes.  I am now not clean, albeit at low level prescription of oxy.  It's been over four months since methadone detox, 100mg, and I am still way suffering. thanks. -freezing

[Vicqueennomore]

Well said. FAITH is the key...lots for Tammy to think about...thanks you guys for enlightening me to the spirtual guidance I am seeking....

[FINISHED!!]

The word FAITH is just that. Faith. Knowing or believing without proof. If God himself came down & started performing miracles, everybody would believe. There is a price for eternal peace in the praises of Heaven. Blind Faith. Knowing in your heart without the "Scientific Proof" that too many seek.

FINISHED!!

[J. E. W.]

Dito.Great posts. Couldnt of said it better!!!!!!                God Bless...       J.E.W>

[Blackbelt]

Tag Team--Told you. Holy Spirit is moving.
Once again I'm so like you ,saved,guilty of premeditated backsliding. Never,never thought I could give up other women,and didn't want to but I did.  Your statement to Tammy about these things keeping us from God reminded me of what Billy Gramham once said."we have a pipeline to God and those sinful things clog it up."
  Do you remember the joy of your salvation ? Best high I ever had. As King David said ,Dear Lord please restore to Jim and Rex the joy of our salvation.  Peace my brother I'll meet you in the NEW Jeruselum. Not Spelled right but we'll be there.
   B'Belt

[Rex1]

Just to add to what BBelt said, defiling the body, no matter if is sex, drugs, or whatever, I felt, was the thing that KEPT ME from a better relationship with God.

Once the drugs go, I think He is more accessible, He takes a step toward you, if that makes sense, waiting to see what you will do.

He's right - no one will force you to believe. Salvation is a "gift". You cannot get a gift from someone unless you accept it.

Many people, I am sure here on this forum and in the world, just do not believe the story, because they have no proof. Addicts especially like that proof concept - "If I take this pill, guaranteed, in like 20 minutes, I will feel the feeling"
It may be helpful to look at the book "The case for Christ by lee STrobel. It is about a search that ended in rock-solid proof.

See, I think many people spend about a day or so looking and asking, and when they dont get a fiery explosion in the sky, or a voice that sounds like Charleton Heston Inside a burning bush, they give up on God.

In my experience, God always moves slower than we would like, but he always delivers more than we ask for. We ask for a baloon, he delivers a carnival!

My final point is I accept that I dont understand, and thats hard, esp for Americans, who have been told we, on our own can do all! If I did understand, I would be God. His ways are not our ways. A day to the Lord is like a thousand years it says in the Book.

Seek Him. Pray. He guarantees that when you get closer to Him, he gets closer to you. I am starting to think that cant happen when we are on drugs, or have major unresolved sin in our lives.

Grace - undeserved kindness - is God's MO.

Rex

[Vicqueennomore]

Dan..yes I do care.
At a point in my life that I lost my son I had actually read the bible, almost from front to back, looking for answers as to why bad things happen to me (sexual abuse, death of son, husband cheating at the time....), not looking for pity, just stating why I was looking for answers. I even asked a Rev. Unc of mine about the part where it says that God casts satan out of the heavens and made earth his domain then in all technical terms wouldn't we be in hell right now. He had such a lame answer of well it may seem that way sometimes but it's not. Not sure why that sticks in my head but I found it to be lame and kind of got turned off of the whole looking to God for answers. It just seemed like something a fortune cookie would say if it said "Confusious say one who touch fire will get burned".
Just curious though because most of the drugs and alcohol I did after I read the bible depleated my memory of it's contents, what was Paul's demon that he was fighting or should I say in what form did it appear as?
Tammy

[Blackbelt]

Just went back and read afew of your posts and was most impressed.You mention Demons many times. There is only one way to fight them. Most people don't know they are Satan's messangers or where they came from. They are not fallen angels so without bodies they need a host ,so to speak, us. You know about the spiritual bad side --look to the Good God side. Most of Jesus's life was casting out demons--Remember when they asked His permission to go into the hogs. They needed a host. Many times I've ridded myself of them and then invited MORE back in. That's why it's worse ever time. Sweep that house clean and keep it clean(from some verse) And yes Christians can and do have demons>paul who wrote most of the new testament had one that kept bothering him and admits it.
  You are going to stay clean and have eternal victory. We're all going to die. This life ain't nothing. I've made it worse by not totally committing to God. You don't have to be a fanatic or even go to church(but it helps) The whole thing-Battle for our souls is like a Star Wars fairytail but it's true. Seek Seek!
  You are close baby.
    B'belt  Ni-Dan if you care

[Kat49]

Hi Sweetie!  I'm so relieved to hear from you!  All sorts of things were going through my mind like: did you get busted, etc. Jenn, the first thing you have got to realize is that the Rx thing is SO BAD and at some point you're going to get caught! The only way the police would give you any kind of break would be if you're a minor picking up drugs for mommie!  But, you're 23 and a college student and you will get no mercy!  And your mother, well, she'll get the book thrown at her and no matter what I'm thinking of her as a mother right now, she's still your mother and you don't want her to go to jail!  Moving in with her is so disheartening for me to hear because you're going to be even more in the thick of this mess!  You must listen to all of us on this forum - especially read about the ones who've been actually busted!  Some have been given liency and others spent time in jail detoxing in horrible conditions!  If your mother is "sweetening the pot" as you say, she is certainly using you and her role as a mother has gone out the window!!!!!  She is also a drug addict and the mind doesn't think rationally under the influence either.  But, the fact that you looked up this forum tells me you're not 100% in denial and are in the beginning stages of seeking help. And you bite your tongue girl when you say you feel bad about posting because all's you have is questions!!!!! That's what we're all here for - ASK AWAY!!! You asked about my son who's your age - he's at UCLA Medical School studying to become a neuropsychiatrist in research. Right now, he's working at a private hospital in the LA area with California's worst cases of child sexual abuse.  It's very hard on him sometimes only because he's read the past case histories and their backrounds are so SICK that they've never had a fair chance since birth.  Most of their parents are dead or in jail from drug/abuse charges.  If you were 10 yrs. younger your mother would be in jail for child abuse because that's what she's doing to YOU!!! Helping your habit along to serve her purpose is abuse any way you look at it.  My other son is 19 and is here in the Phila. area going to Univ. of Penn to be a computer engineer.  So, I must go to work now.  You have a good day and keep in touch with everyone. They all have their own words of wisdom and experience and you may have a breakthrough that will end this nightmare for you.  Hugs xxxxxxxx  Kat

[J. E. W.]

Good to here from you hon. Youll get there just by being here you know that its wrong in your heart. One day youll wake up or hit rock bottom and then youll be ready. dont beat yourself up. but do realize it will lead to destuction. especialy youve got to quit the rx. fraud. Or your going to end up with a record haning over your head. Maybe thats what its going to take for both you and your mother..I sure wouldnt want to detox in jail. Take care hon.      God Bless..       J.E.W.

[Blackbelt]

Wife came in awhile ago and said, are you still on that site?I said very nicely, had you rather me be on pills? My best friend who is a 9th degree blackbelt wrote a very loving letter but said I'd never be off or I would had already been off. I told him God had me where I am for a reason. Maybe that one reason is you, Tammy and I'll bet your two sons follow Mama. We're almost to the end of time as we know it. Read NEW WORLD Coming by Hal Lindsey written over 25 years ago. It explaines the book of Revelation.
  Somewhere in the bible it talks about the Hounds of Heaven being after someone. Thank God they are after Tammy.
     B'Belt

[Vicqueennomore]

Jim (sorry for the misunderstanding on your name) Not real versed in matial arts....
Anyway,
tears filled the eyes again so I know I am getting there...wanting to let Him in....
I have to go pick up 2 little boys from school because here it is about 10 below zero out and it's too cold for them to walk home.
I will be on later like in about an hour or so....
I still want to chat about this...
Thank you for taking the time for me...
Tammy

[Blackbelt]

Thanks for wanting to know. I don't know all the answers but know a lot for such abacksliding idiot. I take that back but you get my drift. Tammy it's Jim not Dan .Easy mistake Ni-dan is arank in martial arts.
First Bad things happen to good people and I think you qualify but really none of us are good.Your uncle didn't know the truth--80% of the CHRISTIANS don't. God says ,"my people perish for lack of knowledge." Short version of what I think is truth. We fell because of Adam and Eve. I personally think fruit refers to sex act. I know you say with whom. In Gen. the bible says the serpent was the most subtle of all animals and could communicate with man.Satan got into him and beguiled Eve. Then We as a race fell. The serpent was not a snake because why would God curse a snake to crawl on it's belly. Off the subject.
  Adam was given the world by God so Adam had the right to give it away which he did to Satan, who you are right had been thrown out of Heaven. God had to redeem us through a sinless man with pure blood(which I don't understand) But I do know this was done By Jesus who was born of pure blood. We are all born with the tainted blood of Adam or Satan. Satan violated the rules by taking a sinless man into hell. This was our salvation and gave God the right to take it back. That's why Jesus said,"IT IS FINISHED>"
  Satan is still the prince of the earth but this will be taken away soon. Thank God.
  Back to you, Sexual abuse is demonic, watch Joyce Meyers on Christian TV , so was she and understands.
  A tragedy about your son, but he is in heaven. He could have grown up and been a crackhead headed to hell.
  Sorry about the cheating spouse ,That hurts like a *****. I was one in 1st marriage, caused lots of pain on both sides.
What goes around comes around Second wife, a little honey 10 years younger gave me 4 wonderful years and a great son who she took whe feeling of love for me was gone. I had found Jesus 2 or 3 years earlier and couldn't imagine God letting this happen. Son is 27 saved and my best buddy other 3 by 1st also in same boat. None druggies like Pop,praise God.
  God gave me a new wife 7 years after last breakup. I wouldn't trade her for anything in the world. Could not would not cheat on her. 18 years is a miracle Loved women, still do but keep it home.
  Even with a great wife I still took the demons to make life better. It worked out the opposite. I've told her and she told me if it doesn't work this tome it's BYE,BYE. Can't lose her.
Pills have made me settle for mediocrity while greatness is in me. Sorry for the lenght,I know lots more this forum probably doesn't want to read or schroll past.
Oh yes, Paul told God 3 times that a demon was bothering him.God would not take it away He said it kept him humble. No one is perfect except if we were we'd get so proud no one could stand being around us--And I wouldn't be writing you now. I can't convince you the truth   It has to be The Holy Spirit. Forgive everyone who has wronged you, even God if you feel that. If you don't forgive He can't forgive you. You can forgive right where you are, you don't have to go to the person. You may not FEEL like you have forgiven but you have. Feelings can decieve you . all us pillheads should know that.
    God Bless,
       B'Belt   Don't take anything I've said as truth if it's not in the bible.

[JennC]

Hi, I'm ok, thanks for asking, that makes me feel so good. I haven't written in a couple of days because I feel that I shouldn't keep asking questions without giving replies to other people, and I'm working up the courage to do that. Things haven't been good. I've picked up two more prescriptions for my mom, against my better judgment. She's sweetened the pot by splitting the amount with me, so it's kinda hard to say no. Plus, I am moving back in with her and renting the top floor of the house while I finish college, so it'll be even more tempting. I really want to try going to meetings, but I can't find one in a good part of town. I know this sounds snobbish, but I feel like if I go to a meeting in the "ghetto" I won't be able to realte to the people as much, and won't feel like I really have a problem. Does that make sense? I'm really not stuck up! I know we're all addicts, but I'm still dealing with the denial stage of this. This website has been wonderful, but it has also make me face some tough realizations about my position. I'm getting there, though.
How are you doing with everything? How's life in general? I believe you mentioned you have a son about my age? What's he like? Thanks again for the concern, I really appreciate it.

[Vicqueennomore]

ONE DAT AT A TIME!! Keep strong today!!
1 little demon and you will go thru it all again...that's what keeps me going into day 16.
I can't remember how long into recovery you are, how long?
Just wondering if we will celebrate our anniversary together or not?
Peace today!!
Tammy

[harlem]

Hey- just thought i'd say thank you for what you posted. it means a lot to have someone tell me i am strong. it is a hard thing going to work (actually i am heading there now) knowing what lies ahead. i went thru really messed up means to get my pills. going to the sample closet always seemed to prove the easiest and most effective way to gain a high- until i wiped it out of all meds! simple fact- i have to keep the demons at bay and keep telling myself over and over that once i take that ONE pill- this is all gonna start again. it really means a lot to hear from someone that i need to stay strong.

[Kat49]

Jenn, haven't heard from you in a couple days and am very concerned for you.  Please post and let us know how you're doing.Love, Kat

[Vicqueennomore]

Thanks for the posting, it does help to come here. Wow, if I had even the slightest access to pills at anytime I am not sure I would be strong enough to resist. I do not ever, ever, ever, ever go thru what I went thru w/d and up to now but my addictive inner self wouldn't think that way. You are my new hero, please stay clean, don't go to the sample closet. You will just have to go thru this again and again and again.
Keep strong and keep posting!!

[harlem]

The words you spoke are so true. i am consumed daily w/ thoughts of "how did i act/feel/think" b/f i was on the pills? I am always thinking I felt better and had better days when i was on. you know, it is funny b/c i am starting to see now that even in my worst hour... i am better right now off the pills than i ever was on. when i was on, i was literally consumed every hour w/ knowing how many more pills i had, how i was gonna get the next batch and when the hell i was gonna break down and not be able to do it anymore! i have to be honest- it is really a struggle for me in the middle of the week when i go to work (i only work 2 days- for an oncologist) b/c i jet right to the sample closet to see if any more pills have been dropped off. it is so sad but it is true. then i realize that i have come almost 2 weeks w/out taking anything, and i feel better now than i can bet i felt on my best day w/ the pills. forgive me for babbling- it's easy to do here but i thought i'd comment and say i feel a lot like you do and just to let you know you are never alone. even when you log off and go about your day- there are so many millions like you (and I) who are fighting the demons within.... and winning.... keep it up!

[wannastop]

Thank you for your wise words, I have actually done that with my days, break them up that is.  It helps, even when I need it the most.  What amazes me is how much better my personal life is, I can do things and I want to do things, I'm not worried about my next fix!!  I like this more and more as time goes on, I wish I would have done this years ago. An the great thing is everyday will get better and better!!  Good luck to everyone!!!!


wannastop

[Vicqueennomore]

I am on day 14 from a 12-14 7.5 vics and feel sometimes consumed with my recovery and overwhelmed that I will not feel normal, whatever that is, again. I know with time everything gets better but when? Granted I do feel better than I did the first few days, I think that is thanks to the Thomas recp,but the lack of motovation is unreal. I want that carefree, funloving person that I feel like I was when I was using. I am afraid that I don't really know the "real" me anymore.

[harlem]

congratulations.... you are doing so well. something that helps me-- take each day as a series of 3 parts. almost like your breakfast, lunch and dinner. the hours b/f noon, the hours from noon-4 and then the rest of your day until nightfall. looking into the future is overwhelming and scary. i tell my husband this (who has no addiction at all- just a load of stress on his shoulders from work, etc...) just to alleviate some of his tension and anxiety that tomorrow may bring. i have been "clean" from pills for 8 days and feel great. i have taken to doing pilates or some form of exercise each day even if only for 10 minutes! i just think there are so many people out there who are no where near facing their demons.... and you have done so and kept them off your back for some time. you will do it today and tomorrow and again after that and it will one day come to you in the form of a distant memory... good luck every hour and continue being strong. you deserve each day that comes to you!