List the reasons why YOU quit

[Back2Me]

So apparently pain killers have their downfalls huh?!
I think it would be good if we all bulleted the main reasons why we all quit. I know everyone has their own reasons but I think we will find a LOT of the same reasons. And we can come back and look when feeling tempted. Maybe it will help. I'll go first.

1 Started being adgitated all the time even when on a high. It was like I was always In a hurry for something and i didn't know what. It was a weird feeling. Hard to explain. but I started treating everyone around me like **** and people were
getting hurt because that is not my norm.

1 Sexual side effects. I normally have a great sex life but it was killing my drive and my ability to even perform. I had to be on cialis or Viagra while taking pain meds just to perform. That combination did make for some loooooong sex marathons though :). Sensorys dulled PLUS a sex enhanser made 2 hour long romps no problem. But it was not the same you know. I knew I could not keep all that up nor did I want to. I want it to be all natural again.

3. Weight gain. For me it caused me to gain weight because I stopped being active eventually and just did not care about what and when I ate. Now I have about 25-30 lbs to lose on top of everythig else. Which should be no problem when i ever get my energy back. I lost 100lbs 2 years ago so I know I can do this.

4. Bad bad bad decisions. Job, home, relationships, anything i could do to screw my life up I pretty much did. I was a VP making BIG money and just walked out. And I took my GF with me. Both had NO jobs and no money for a long time. And she was not using. Don't get me wrong the job sucked *** but we probably should have found other employmet first. Like I said bad decisions.

5. I have not been "happy" in a long long time. I
swear there used to be days when just walking outside and feeling nice weather would make me feel complete and happy. Walking my dogs or playing my drums or messing around on the pc were all just simple pleasures that I have lost completely. There are a lot of things I lost interest in. Now I am facing the possibility that it might not JUST be the drugs. That maybe the drugs were masking some deep issues and that's why I started taking them but I don't believe I will ever really get to the bottom of all of my problems unless I quit and give myself a chance to feel again first. But I have to get back to that place. I really don't want to live if I can't so I will do whatever it takes. And I know I will have some HARD choices ahead.

Anyway those are some of my big ones.

[tellit2her]

I was tired of lying or coming up with means or ways to lie, especially to doctors and family.
Tired of being someone that I wasn't such as a thief.
Lived  like a hermit in total isolation
Always felt sorry for myself
Living in denial
Making up pain stories
Tired of being sick and chasing it to not be sick
Burned bridges, lost a 29 years marriage, lost so much money and nothing at all to show for it..   61 days and alive for once.  mike in nc

[Back2Me]

Yeah Maria I didn't even bring up the money And the counting and chasing. Wow. And everything else you said is dead on as well.  All of it.

[merrymaria]

for me it was just getting sick of the chase to find the pills....sick of waking up in the A.M. having to pop a handful of pills to feel normal..no high...sick of counting...sick of waiting for calls...sick of wasting cash for nothing....i wanted more than anything to feel normal with no opiate involved...so i just did it...very hard but so worth the freedom i now have...i can wake up every morning and just drink coffee....no pills to start the day...that is the best reason i have for quitting...maria

[kr43]

Exactally how I feel. I really hate the dark side of the addiction

[sweatinit]

Hey...i would have to agree with #2, #4 and #5. Also I felt so alienated from God. Every day these areas of my life start to get a wee bit better. I sat in the sun today for about 5 mins and it felt soo good. Enjoy your sobriety and thanks for the great post.

[Radiostar55]

Well said..Again you sound just like me  Good Luck