Long Term Recovery From Opiates?

[Robin6298]

Hi, I'm new here to this forum.  I'm glad I've found it & have been reading quite a few of the posts here.  They have been very informative. I'm 36 and a Mom of 3 great kids.  I used an opiate medication (Tylenol #4) for severe lower back pain, daily, for about 8 years.  At it's worst, I was using 6-8 tabs a day.  I managed to keep up with my job, the house & the kids, although it's beyond me how in the hell I did it.  No one knew, (faimly, friends, etc)& still doesn't know, about my pain meds, except myself, my Dr, and the pharmacist.  I did some internet research & found some stretches to relieve the lower back pain.  They worked so well that I needed less and less of the pain med, & then the Dr and I decided to wean me off them.  Over several months, we lowered the dose until I was down to just one tab a day.  I did experience some WD symptoms at each adjustment, but it wasn't too bad.  I didn't know what "bad" was...yet.  At a few days of one tab & feeling OK, I stopped completely & chucked the rest of the pills.  There wasn't that many left anyway.  Within 48 hours, the WD's hit...BIG time.  I was so shocked!  I worked so hard at tapering off to prevent this very thing & it happened anyway. This was right at Christmas & New Years of course.  I was in bed praying to die for 7 days!!  I ended up in the ER twice for liters of IV fluids, anti-nausea meds, and clonidine.  The ER doc was surprised that the WD's were that bad as well, and ran a bunch of tests to rule out any other problem. He wanted to admit me, but I couldn't do that..I had my family to think of.  I told them that I had the 'Flu from Hell', BTW.  I lost 13 lbs in that 7 days, and I didn't have it to loose.  I started at 98 lbs.  My Dr has no clue why I'm so thin & I've always been that way.  After the worst was over, I was so weak that I couldn't even stand up long enough to take a shower, I had to have my fiancee help.  That lasted another week.  When I was able to look at food, nothing tasted right..tasted awful actually, even water.  Everything smelled like a 'stale skunk' too.  The list goes on.  Despite the 'ride from hell', I am so glad to be done with the pills....forever.  I definitely recommend to anyone deciding to quit, to go for it!!  The WD experience is a little different for everyone...it's never fun, but it most likely will not be as bad as mine was.  The clonidine & the anti-ametics did help.  My questions are, how long does it take your body to be completely normal, after being on opiates for that long?  My quite date was Dec 21, 2007, and it's just been a little over a month.  I have very little energy.  I have to force myself to cook, clean, etc, most days.  When I do feel a little pep, it never lasts long, I run out of steam fast. My heart races when I push myself.  I just want to sit on my butt and be left alone, basically.  No motivation for much of anything.  On the plus side, my appetite is better than it was before, but that's about it, so far.  Doing anything just seems to take too much energy, effort most of the time.  I absolutely hate it.  I feel lazy & useless.  My mind says 'Go' & my body says 'whoa, I don't think so'.  Very discouraging.  Is this a 'normal' part of the recovery?  If so, how long does this "Blah & weak" period typically last?  I hope that theres a light at the end of the tunnel for this as well.  I have a follow up appt with my Dr next week & will discuss this with him as well.  I can't find any info online about this.  Any insight will be greatly appreciated & sorry this post was so long!  Good luck to you all :)

[Robin6298]

Thanks for your input.  It's just good to hear that I'm not the only one feeling like this.  I'm going to tough it out, no matter what, however long it takes.  I'll take a bullet before I take more opiates, period.  I will remember the 8 day WD hell until the day I die.  It still haunts me..I have dreams about going through it, then thank the Lord I wake up. It was the sickest I've ever been in my life & I'll never, ever go through that again.  You 'hang in there' too.  Relapse is a part of the recovery for many.  Just dust yourself off, & get ready to go to war with the addiction again.  Thanks again for your advice, I've been doing most of your suggestions already (by forcing myself)...now I'm just waiting.  Good luck!

[flmagi]

The only time clean I have under my belt is 2 months and at that point I was still feeling just like you do now. I ended up very depressed, for many reasons and relapsed. I understand how frustrating it is to have no energy or motivation. I was feeling like such a slug. But I guess it can take a long time for our bodies to heal completly and get back to normal. How long? I can't tell you, I haven't made it to that point yet.  Acceptance in my limitations is something I need to learn. We've messed ourselves up pretty good and just have to wait it out. I'm sure pushing ourselves with exercise, eating right & vitamins will help, but it still may be just a matter of time & healing. Wish I could offer you some quick fix, but I don't know one. Sorry. But hang in there anyway.
Magi

[Robin6298]

Thanks!  I've read about the Thomas recipe here on the forum.  I will read your journals as well.  Thanks again :)

[GoingToMakeIt]

Look in my journals for Thomas recipe and the Amino acid posts. Many amino acids are used to help improve mood. Even upping your Omega3s helps.

[Robin6298]

Thanks for the friendly responses :)  Yes, 8 years is a long time...I was on Tylenol #3 for a few years before that, then the doc bumped the dose up.  Total time using opiates was about 13 years.  Yup, way too long.  My back was injured when I went into pre-term labor & delivered my now 14 yr old son 6 weeks early.  The OB nurse held my legs together until the Dr got there.  The contractions ripped just about every abdominal & lower back muscle I had.  I spent a week in the hospital & my son spent two in the NICU. I came very close to losing him. The early labor was a result of my then husband back-handing me over the couch.  Needless to say, I fought back, but, thats another story for another forum.  I felt that I should give a little back ground on how I ended up on opiates for so long.  I have never tried any illicit drugs, & have never been drunk.  I never plan on trying them either.  My situation is a result of 100% legally prescribed opiates.  That just goes to show you, that even when legally prescribed & used, you can still end up in a mess.  I never went over the prescribed amount. So, anyone using these powerful painkillers, be extremely careful & never use it for longer than needed!  Avoid them, if at all possible.  

Depression did cross my mind.  I do have alot on my plate right now, no job, running out of $$, the usual worries many of us have.  However, how does one tell if it's that, or just that my body is still trying to recover from so many years of being used to opiates?  I tried three different anti-depressants 13 years ago, during the messy divorce.  They just made me feel worse, & made my appetite non-existant. I certainly don't need that. Not that keen on trying them again.  If anyone else would describe their recovery period & how they felt after long-term opiate use, I would love to hear your story.  As I stated earlier, theres very little information on what to expect in the long run.  All I find is what to expect the first week or two, and the description of WD.  Thanks again, I appreciate it!  

To Toxictome:  5 days clean...Congratulations!  Keep it up!

[toxictome]

Welcome to the forum......lots of great help here...so many knowledgable people.
Do you think maybe you are depressed? Are you willing to see a therapist? After the wd's are over , there is the mental part to deal with. I wish you luck...keep posting.

Sorry i can't give you more info, i'm only 5 days clean....

[IBKleen]

Eight years is a long time to be the meds and I am sure that had a lot to do with the physical withdrawal. It usually takes 90 days, or so, for your body and mind to start to get back on track.

Definately discuss this with your doc, perhaps he can recommend supplements for you while you are healing.

God Luck!!!!!