Looking for support and inspiration

[beekeeper340]

Folks,

I'm on Day 4 of stopping Norco.  I've been taking it for about 1 year.  The first six months, I probably took 1 to 2 per day, but in the past six months it has averaged from 3 to 10 a day.  I was taking this for a legitimate health issue, but I am so pissed at myself for letting this turn into abuse.

And for the people who are lurking who aren't sure if the people on these boards are "like" them :-), I'm 41, married, have 3 kids, have two homes, and am a successful executive.  So it is really true that this can happen to anybody.

I'm guessing that what I'm experiencing is relatively mild as far as withdrawal goes, but it feels pretty darn bad.  I'm not having any of the pains that people describe, but I feel like my skin is crawling, I have a sort of half-way there headache, and I'm exchaused, but I don't sleep more than 3-4 hours at a time.

I bought some L-Tyrosine today and am taking it. Not sure it is helping much.

But my question is for those of you who have been through this - is it too much to hope that I'll feel relatively normal by Day 5?  Best of luck to everybody out there, and thanks in advance for any stories or advice you can share.  Nobody around me knows about any of this, and the only reason I've had the foresightedness to stop before it becomes obvious is that I've been down this route with wine several years ago.  I almost lost my husband over that one, and when I realized that I was coming up with all of these schemes to hit up immediate care clinics for norco, I knew that I was in danger of everything falling apart.

I do have an appointment with a psychiatrist on Monday, and I plan to share this with him at that point.

Thanks!

Hilary

[beekeeper340]

Well, thanks again for sharing with me.  I'll keep posting to see how it goes.  The good thing is that I'm at work, and when I'm busy it makes the time go faster.

DayToTry - it might be my imagination, but it feels like my memory is already better.  For example, I can make connections between different conversations and situations more quickly than I could 4 days ago. :-)

[FassFeat]

Looking back now, I see that I was slipping big time and the photos.. I really didn't look too healthy either.  I am just glad it didn't take you so long to come around and am hopeful that you get through recovery and get long term structure to prevent it from reoccuring. I enjoyed the discussion. I shared more than I have with anyone to date. Wierd. Thanks

[DayToTry]

I have that memory problem too.  I hate it.  I used to be so good at remembering and didn't understand why other people couldn't and now I can't remember s h i t.  Does anyone know ... will this come back?  I'm so glad to hear other people talk about this!

[beekeeper340]

Thanks so much for sharing your story - it really does give me inspiration.  And it also give me a chance to think about somebody else so thank you for that as well. :-)

We are about the same age, but there are aspects of your story that remind me of my father.  He was 42 when he finally stopped drinking (yep, my addiction is inherited).  I think he finally stopped because between the alcoholism and his diabetes, he really felt physically miserable.  He did go to AA for a while, but for the most part I think he just gritted his teeth and got through it  We are 24 years later and while I don't think he has much interest in or desire to have a drink any longer, he definitely did not deal with whatever was driving the alcohol abuse.

My point is that it is wonderful that you did stop, and that you are active and determined about all of this.  I think my father just sort of halfway did the job, and he has never been happy.  You are clearly on the right path!

What amazed me about norco (or any of these painkillers I'm guessing) is that you really can be productive, engaged, and successful while on them!  At least for a while.  I realized a while ago that I wasn't remembering things as well.  For example, I'd have a phone conversation with somebody at work. And then when they would stop into my office a day later and reference something in the phone conversation, I really wouldn't know what they were talking about.  It would slowly come back to me, but it would take longer than the typical "Oh, I just blanked on that moment."  And I don't mean this to sound like I'm glorifying them at all!  It's more like I am shocked at almost how easy it was to have this experience.  But the rub (for anybody else who might be reading this and is thinking about staying on narcotics) is that at some point you will have to get off, and when you do, it really is the farthest thing from easy.

[FassFeat]

I understand totally. I had 3 tiers of management reporting to me and I was a direct report to the CEO. We were so busy and it happened so gradually, that no one noticed, they just thought I was getting worn down (I guess). I also realize that I have addictive tendicies and my habit had gotten quite a bit worse than what you are dealing with, and for longer. I was able to hit bottom without causing my family any humiliation (I have a son in college and a daughter is sophmore in high school) . I told my wife and our family Dr. (he delivered those kids) but my kids don't know.  But to say the least, I felt like a hypocrite. I had been with same company for 20 years (worked my way up) so when I came home to detox, I took a leave from work after three weeks I resigned (Thank God I was in the position to do so) and I have made alot of changes in my life. I am 42 and figure I have 20+ productive years left in workforce, so I intend to make them the best ones by putting all the experience (including life experiences) to a fresh start with a clear mind. I have a peace that I have never had, but I have also spent alot of time talking to God. I think it all happened for a reason for me. Before, I got up and left early and got home late, and had no time for anyone.. my kids never wanted for material things, but I sure missed alot of their life.. OK so this is about you. Sorry
It seems as though you have a good mindset and a plan to deal with things. Keep posting as you progress. I bet you have helped me more than I have you. God Bless.

[beekeeper340]

Thanks so much for your response - it really helps to know that people are out there!  I actually went to rehab for the drinking, and that is part of why I am so upset with myself.  The drinking several years ago was a matter of self-medicating because I was going through a situational depression.  Got through that with a few starts and stops, and I've been great for many years.  Had three kids, lots of clean living. :-)

Basically, what happened was that after I had my youngest child last summer (June 09), I went home from the hospital with the standard bottle of norco.  Keep in mind that this is the same medication given to me for the first two children.  I didn't even finish them with my older children.

And the only reason I took all of them this time wasn't even because of anything related to having had the baby!  I have extreme plantar fasciitis (heel pain) - lots of people have this, but mine is unusual in how extreme it gets during flare ups and in how persistent it is (13 years).  When my baby was 4 weeks old, I got into the orthopedic surgeon because I literally couldn't walk on my right foot at that point. I  told him that I was taking the Norco for it, he said that was fine, and give me another prescription in addition to anti-inflammatories.  Problem with that is that anti-inflammatories really aren't that helpful with plantar fasciitis, and I ended up taking the Norcos every day for the pain. And then somewhere along the way I was taking them for both the pain and the fact that they made me happier (family life is great - really not thrilled with job I am in right now), and for the last six months it is because of the way they feel (foot no longer hurts!!).

So, my point to this long rambling post is that I clearly have extremely addictive tendencies when I am exposed to addictive substances in combination with when I am unhappy about some aspect of my life.  This is really discouraging, but also somewhat enlightening because as I type this I realize that I'm maybe not such a horrible person. But the realization that the addiction wasn't just a one time thing before is why I decided to see a psychiatrist.

I feel like a complete hypocrite.  I have people who report to me, think highly of me, my kids are little and thing I'm great.  Ugh.  Okay - now I'm back to feeling pretty discouraged! :-)

[FassFeat]

BTW, Welcome to the forum. You will get lots of support and encouragement here. Andrew

[FassFeat]

I doubt that you will feel normal after 5 days, but the worst will be over. Given the fact the heavier usage hasn't been for too long, you sholdn't have too many lingering effects. My story is similar in as much as my employment and not having anyone around me knowing.. they just wouldn't suspect because of my responsibilties and the fact that I  continued to meet them.

I am glad that you recognized what is going on and addressing it before it gets total control. Addiction doesn't care about our stations in life and it will rob you of everything. There are some home remedies on the health pages, particulary the Thomas recipe or the amino acid protocol. You will get better quickly as our bodies are very forgiving. Just needs to recalibrate some. Good Luck and God Bless..

You need to give some thought to aftercare, as the wine and pills are just an indicator of what is really wrong. It took alot of soulsearching for me to realize that I have been addicted to several things over the years.. the pills was the hardest to shake. I am getting to the root of the problem now.