Day 8. ct off off 110mgs deathadone

[kleighn]

Sitting here wide awake but proud for making it a full week. Setting small gpals for myself but really I'm looking forward to having my day off on Wednesday and getting in to see my old counselor. She's an addict herself  and can relate totally to my situation. I just got done with group therapy last feb and was sober and doing great... A month after I quit seeing her I land my *** in the clinic. I have been  staying natural. passion flower is hhelping me. I do need to get mora e electrolytes going. I can feel a little more sunshine cracking through with each passing day. Baths have helped me ssoo much as I'm just an ice cube all the time. I hope within the next couple days these chills will go away along with my inability to stand on my legs for more than 15 minutes. I made it to the gym last night only for 10 minutes then I got a call from home and had tend to something at home. Distraction is my best friend right now. Still feeling emotional but no where as near as day 5 was. Damn that was hell !!!  Although I am still passing through hell I'm kicking these demons ***** and taking names. Sending so much love  to you all and to anyone struggling, we're here for you

[Amandag78]

Congratulations on 8 days today, well done!!

[kleighn]

I'm getting very depressed. I tried to get in with my counselor that I haven't seen in a year, had to fill out a hours worth of paper work because I'm considered a new client... turns out she's gone for a week so I said screw it. I went down the hall to my psychiatrist office who I also haven't been in to see in a year and since I'm considered a new patient they aren't accepting any until june!!!! I snapped on the receptionist and asked her how they expect anyone to get help if there's no one in the entire building to take me in. I just wanted to talk to make sure I'm doing this right my temperature is so high then it's so low and idk what's going on anymore. Crying spells come and go. I'm sure they'd probably admit me if they saw me like this anyways. I have barely eaten anything but broth and bananas all week.  I'm pushing fluids. I just want to feel better and right when I think I am, I get spat on. :(

[kleighn]

I'm getting very depressed. I tried to get in with my counselor that I haven't seen in a year, had to fill out a hours worth of paper work because I'm considered a new client... turns out she's gone for a week so I said screw it. I went down the hall to my psychiatrist office who I also haven't been in to see in a year and since I'm considered a new patient they aren't accepting any until june!!!! I snapped on the receptionist and asked her how they expect anyone to get help if there's no one in the entire building to take me in. I just wanted to talk to make sure I'm doing this right my temperature is so high then it's so low and idk what's going on anymore. Crying spells come and go. I'm sure they'd probably admit me if they saw me like this anyways. I have barely eaten anything but broth and bananas all week.  I'm pushing fluids. I just want to feel better and right when I think I am, I get spat on. :(

[gnarly_1]

Hey Girl  good to see you post ..YOUR WINNING THIS  one day at a time sleep will return but it takes  a wile it sounds like the energy crash has set in with you try to pace yourself and try to go for a walk as far as you can and increase it every day  the whey protein shake mix is 15 bucks at walmart it helped me recover keep pushing forward and remember methadone is very cyclic you  will start to get more good days as you go but there will be some bad mixed in  try not to get discouraged I often say ''you just got to be ok without being ok for a wile'' your going to make it just keep pressing on...........Gnarly

[Frankenkristin]

You are doing awesome k! Can you believe you've made it this far?! There's nothing you can't do, lady!

[kleighn]

Thanks ban! Good to hear from you. I actually jumped at 110 not 13 or 14. Lol. Yikes. How do you feel today ? I'm trying to get sleep, I kicked my fiance out on the couch and I can still hear him snoring. My chills are really intense I'm beginning to think something is wrong with the heater, haha. Anyway I need to try to sleep these last couple hours before I have to force myself up and in to work. I read somewhere these withdrawals can last 3 to 5 weeks if done properly, if not it could last months. That ffreaked me out. I have no appetite I don't know what to eat and I know that's a major energy loss. I know protein is essential right now so maybe I could go get some protein powder at least.
Take care

[BanMethadone]

Haha that's awesome girl! I have thought about you a lot because you said you jumped off around 13 or 14 mg I think... anyway I would love to jump off and I have spring break coming up. I plan to post a forum question to see what ppl think about one or the other.

I am glad to hear you made it to the gym. I did too, and I felt like crap after only 25 minutes of stairs, so I quit those early. I was going to just pack it in, but I decided just to try to lift weights and once I got going, I didn't stop for 2 hours. It made me feel great.

If I gave anyone a little advice it would be to do what you did, and at least try. You may think you can't do something and talk yourself out of it. There is a quote by Shakespeare that I truly love and it says "our doubts are traitors and make us loose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt" I love that bc sometimes I think I can't, but once I force myself, I find that I can do a lot more than I thought was possible. When it comes to recovery, and even to working out, I like the old Nike slogan..."just do it!!!" don't think, just do it and as you said... stay distracted.

You're amazing!