having rough time on day 9

[scoenen]

I am really dragging today.  Geez, when am I ever going to get my energy back.  I see from most of the oxys users that they start to see a tick up.  It must be because of the Fentanyl (Da#$ F#$$$%).  My sister stopped over and tried to convince me to just take one of my percs (I have then for my back pain).  I resisted but boy oh boy, was that hard.  I think I may need to stay away from her until I don't feel this bad.  Cripes,  I feel like I am carrying around a extra hundred pounds, moving is once again a chore.  IS THIS EVER GOING TO GET BETTER!?

Sorry guys,  I try and stay positive but its been hard today.  Any words of encouragement.  I could sure use them.

[IBKleen]

Of course it is going to get better but you need to remember that we abuse our bodies for a long time, it takes time for it to get better.

I am concerned about you having pills at your disposal. that is so dangerous. You said no once, which is more than I could do, but what happens next time? Are you planning to take them ever again?

[scoenen]

I will need something to control my back pain.  I plan on talking with my spine doc on Wednesday about the different options and if I need to take pain meds I want to keep it on a very low dose and I already talked with the Mom about hanging onto the script for me and only giving me what I need- so it would not be in the house.  I just haven't dropped them off yet.  I don't plan on using them.  I am not as freaked about them as the Fentanyl I was on but I have to remember they are on narcotics so I need to be careful.  To be honest,  when I got the high feeling it always kind of scared me and I thought I was dieing- still liked it though.  I know it is a slipperly slope and that is why I need to discuss other options.  Thanks for being concerned.  I know that I need to be careful.  Maybe I should give them to my husband for the night until I can drop them off at my Moms


I am kind of a masochist.  The first few days of withdrawal, I had a fentanyl patch placed on my watch to remind me what caused this agony.  I was never tempted to put it on.  A little strange huh?  A friend of mine that has been down this road told me that it was the weirdest thing he had ever seen and he would have never been able to do it.  What can I say-  I am a little odd.