My first time at treatment--minimum 4 months--advice please!

[jvette]

I could really use some advice here. To sum things up I am 23 years old (in a week) and have been trying to get sober for the last 9 months through the help of AA and an outside drug counselor/therapist. My drug of choice was oxycontin which I used for a good 15 months before I admitted I had a problem to my Father and admitted that I needed help. Before I initially got clean and with each relapse I'd always end up on around 320mg of oxy per day.  In these last 9 months the most sober time I've had is just around 5 months--and than I relapsed. After my first relapse I never really "fully" got back on track and continued to relapse 3 more times in the next 4 months or so.

Anyhow, the deal I had with my Father was that I would go do inpatient if I relapsed again--and I did--so you can guess where I am. I am in southern california but from northern california. I am currently living in a sober living house and doing outpatient at this rehab until a bed opens up for me there in a few weeks.

Where I am freaking out and all in my head is the time I will have to be in treatment. I don't start inpatient for at least another 3 weeks (like I said--waiting for a bed there) and at THAT point it's a MINIMUM 4 month commitment. I am just freaking out at the time I am going to spend down here. Also, it's important to note that this is my FIRST time in treatment. MY sister is a recovering addict and has been through many 30 and 60 day programs within the last two years--so my father said if I was going to go that he was going to do it right for me the first time--which involved a longer program and not you typical 30-60 day stay.


I am just plain scared. I'm out of my element, missing my fellowship from back home, my old sponsor, the amazing friendships I formed back home through AA and being sober. I won't be back up there (no visits or anything allowed) until at LEAST September. I"ve been down here a week now and it's getting better but I am just scared I guess when it comes down to it.

Any thoughts here would be really appreciated. I am just really missing home and my life back there. I had to put two jobs on hold that I was working, packed up my apartment in one day, and just left my entire life back there.

[jvette]

Thanks everybody. I"d love to hear anybody else's thoughts or experiences..

[atthebeach]

consider it the first day of the rest of your life. you are so young and you have your whole life ahead of you.jump off the merry go round now and commit yourself to a life of sobriety. i put my son in rehab at 17 years old. very hard decision but best i ever made. he didn't like me then, but now 7 years later, thanks me and says he would either be dead or in jail . i am sure your dad really loves you that is why he wants the best for you. on the other hand, i have lived with my husband who is 56 and he used for 14 years of our marriage, pure hell. he went to rehab 3 months ago and just came home a clean man. honesty with yourself most important and then to your dad you are on the right path. hold tight- 4 months will be gone before you know it . it didn't take a few weeks or 30 days to get addicted and it definitely takes time to learn how to live clean again. take all the advice and help you can get. dig deep and cleanse your mind, body, soul and spirit.let us know how you are doing along the way.
god bless,
debbie

[jvette]

Wow thank you all for your help! I've talked to a few of my fellow alcoholic men back home and have gotten some of the same advice you've all given me. Essentially what it comes down to is that I need to make the best out of this experience and really do the work. This really is an amazing opportunity. No this won't guarantee me long-term sobriety but it might push me closer to staying sober (not relapsing) than had I not gone and continued to just try and do the program back home while working and upholding everything else. Another thing that was said to me was to think about how great it will be to come home when I'm all done with everything that I've learned--and to imagine what I"l be able to bring to the table in terms of my relationships and my program at home that I wasn't able to do before.

Definitely feeling better about this :-)

[LeaAnn807]

I went to treatment in Atlanta, GA for 12 weeks in 2004.  I stayed clean for awhile.  USE YOUR TIME THERE WISELY!  You can have a great, positive experience.  But beware......good treatment doesn't necessarily "cause" you to stay clean.  YOU are responsible for getting something out of it.  If you are ready, then it will help you.  If you aren't, NOTHING and NO amount of time will help.  That was my problem in 2004.  I just wasn't doing it for me.  This time, I didn't go to treatment at all, and I am still clean, because I listened to people, and I was ready to do it!

Best wishes to you!!!  You can do this!

TH

[CATUF]

My last rehab was 4 months.  I needed every day of it and it was not a bad thing.  I now think of that town (Winchester, VA) as my spiritual home.  I go back to pick up my next chip each year.  If I make it 36 more days, I be entitled to a chip with a "V."  Yes!  :)  (never thought I'd really be saying that!)

I fought against rehab until I had no ability to fight anymore.  The first time didn't wprk -- a) it was too short (28 days) to do much besides get me rested and ready to go again (sure that THIS time I'd control it) and b) I wasn't ready to be HONEST, OPEN and WILLING (which is HOW we get - and stay - clean and sober).

The second time I was ready, willing and able and I stayed long enough for the miracle to happen, which for me was exactly 4 months 6/7/06 - 10/7/05.  It was a great four months. It was the begining of a new life, one that I never imagined was possible for me.

Here's the trick to rehab:  THE ONE WHO SURRENDERS THE MOST, WINS.

Good luck.

CATUF
1790

[medic09]

I can empathize. I may be facing inpatient too. I am already clean and doing well, but the program I am doing is to save my paramedic license and my small community rural area doesn't have outpatient available to me right now because the group is all men. (I'm not sure why I couldn't join the group just because I'm female - anyone with experience who could enlighten me?) So I may have to do inpatient. Supposed to find out this week. I don't want to go away because I have two kids. That part really scares the hell out of me. I have terrible seperation anxiety because of what has happended over the last 3 yrs...I have been battling breast cancer and complications from it, and working fulltime as sole breadwinner, AND going to school for my Master's. I can't believe 8 surgeries, chemo and radiation didn't knock me down but painkillers have.
Sorry didn't mean to make this post about me - just know you are not alone. Hang in there.

[GA Guy]

I'll bet after 4 months you won't want to leave. The time I spent in rehab was wonderful. You'll gain valuable insights into yourself, meet great people, and have some safety and serenity. Embrace it.

[avisg]

I am sure this has to be really hard but think about it you are worth it .take the 4 months put your heart and soul into it .Learn all you can this gives you a good amount of time with intense support I don't think for most people 30 or 60 days are enough .Then when you are done you will be able to go back to your home aa group with four months clean .You can do it ...hang in there..
avis