My wife just left for 10 days! I'm freaking out!

[Lotsatrout]

Ok...  As the title says... my wife just left this morning with my daughter who is 17 years old to go to Guatemala for a 10 day missions trip through my kids school.  They attend a private christian school that we could not otherwise afford if my wife did not teach there.  We get an 80% discount on the tuition because of her employment.  Anyway, the school organizes an annual missions trip every year.  

My wife and I have NEVER been apart for more than a day or two at a time.  She is my very best friend and we do everything together.  She knows everything about me and I know everything about her.  We are definitely 2 peas in a pod.  :)  

I dropped them off at 4:00am this morning and they won't be back until the 25th of this month.  I'm glad they have the opportunity to go but I'm kinda freaking out everytime it hits me that my wife is going to be gone for so long.  We had an accident 5 years ago and lost our youngest son and ever since then I worry that "somethings going to happen".  

After I dropped them off this morning I got real anxious and had to calm myself down.  I never get anxious like that so now it's just me and my 2 boys for the next week and a half and I'm kinda freaking out about her being gone.  I know I'm dependent on her but more than that I'm just really going to miss her.  I'll miss my daughter to but that's different.  I have no pills or anything so using while she's gone is not an issue.  I can't even pick up the phone and call her to check and see how they are doing.  I'll probably be on this forum quite a bit.  Hopefully my nerves will settle down and everything will be ok...

Trout

[Jacqui805]

From one seriously happily married half of a pea pod to another, yesterday was the day she was due to come back right?  I'm hoping your blissfully happy and relieved to be saying YES, thank God she's back.  I have been married for 17 years to a guy I could not love any more than I do now, and yet I love him more every day.  I used to feel like the black sheep of the world until I met him.  He get me, I get him, nothing's better.  

Jacqui

[VicUser]

Did you start a project? Just wondering, it's fun to talk shop and I work with all women.

[Lotsatrout]

:)

I appreciate all of your nice comments... They have really helped me out.  It's hard to think that today is the 5th day that they have been gone.  Starting tomorrow there will only be 6 days until she comes home.  I can't say that it has gotten any easier but I'm coping with it better.  I write about 4 e-mails to her a day but I don't think she gets to check the internet very often.  It still feels good to write to her though.  We could only see each other twice a week in high school and that was at church so we spent most of our time the first 2 years sending each other letters.  :)  Thanks for listening everyone and for your great ideas!

Trout

[flmagi]

I think it would be great if you would write a novel about your wife, but give it to her, not us.(although I would love to read it)  She would cherish it the rest of her life. What a gift that would be. Start it now and give it to her for a special anniversary? 20th? 25th?
Your love story is a rare thing, very rare.

[LIZZIE LOU]

aaawwwhhhhh...i'm sooo jealous!  your love story brings tears to my eyes...seriously :)  how sweet are the two of you!!!!!!!!!!!

26 days is awesome trout...sounds like you have a wonderful woman who is your inspiration.

kim

[Lotsatrout]

By the way...  26 days clean today and the thought of taking a pill at this benchmark does not even cross my mind.  I'll be clean by the time my 40th birthday gets here.  I just wanted to mention that because I think someone up above asked me that question.  I didn't have time to go back and see who it was.  

[Lotsatrout]

So today is day 3 and just as I thought... It's getting easier every day.  I know that they are safe and we are doing great on this end.  :)

I met my wife when I was 17 years old.  We went to the same youth group at our church but went to different high schools.  Our towns were about 30 minutes apart.  I never had a girlfriend until I met her and we became boyfriend and girlfriend when we were Juniors in high school.

We didn't see each other often except for Sundays and Wednesday nights so we wrote to each other every day.  If the mailman was delivering mail that day... she got a letter!  Same thing is true with her.  I was her first boyfriend.  Neither one of us have been with anyone else but each other.  I think that may be why we have such a great reationship and that we are pals and not just husband and wife.  Neither one of us have seen the "dark side" so to speak.  

I have never had the desire to know any other woman in the way that I know my wife and she feels the same way.  Ya know... that's how it was originally meant to be.  We were both raised pretty strict but when I met her I knew that very moment that I just met the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.  

I could write a novel about her and how much she means to me but this isn't the time for that.  I just love her to death.  You guys have been great and believe it or not you have really helped me get through what I feel will be the roughest part.  I appreciate all of your kind words and if there were a way to show more emotion about how much I meant that other than typing words I would... You guys and gals are great.  Thanks a bunch!

Trout

[FAITHFUL74]

Wow ... how sweet it is... my husband would fly me first class, one way to guautamala if he could!!! Just kiddn. anyway you will get through this... just take it one day at a time. And I agree with the earlier post, designate this as your time with just you and the boys!!
Have fun and you will be fine, she'll be home soon!

[watermom]

You are a sweet man and I understand being scared.  Even though my hubby would probably be dancing a Jig if I went away for 10 days.  LOL

On a serious note....that is really tough not to be able to talk to her so you have to post here a lot....and do some male bonding with your boys.  Oh I just read you have been...great!  Keep it up.

Hang in there and keep on a posting.......

[allaboutmary]

This post really is sweet.  All I can say is....I so wish I had the relationship you have with your wife, even after all these years.  She is a lucky women and you are a lucky man.  ( Iknow no luck to it, good marriages take some work)  Most marriges don't make it through the loss of a child and yet you have grown closer.  After a loss like that  I can understand you worring.  It's all gonna be fine, and I'm sure this will make you even closer yet.  Your such a sweet man.  Keep posting , we will be here for ya.    Hugs   Mary

[mshell62]

Why don't you think about the things she does during the day as a mother/wife/etc. and try doing them?  It may sound strange, but "walk in her footsteps" while she is gone.  Or at least try to.  You will be looking at the things the way she does on a daily basis.  You will actually feel "close" to her as you play "mom"/"housewife".  

Write down the things that you think about as you proceed through these daily routines.  When she returns, you will be able to explain how much you really appreciate the things she does for you and the family.  

Like Hop said, use this time to really BOND well with the boys.  Do things you guys usually don't get a chance to do.  Go fishing?  Dont know where you live, but try something they've been wanting to do but don't get a chance to do because of "the girls".  

Time will fly by before you know it.  Try try try to remember you are the parent and the boys, no matter what age they are, are depending on you to be strong and caring for them.  It's not a time to fall apart.  They are going to miss her, too.

Stay SUPER busy.  This is the key.  

[road2recovery]

This is the sweetest post..  I know this will be tough, but use this time with your boys as their time with their dad....
WE are all here for you,
I agree with hopsing----this kind of love is so special....and i am sure she misses you as well..
It will past soon, stay strong
thinking of you
r2r

[rosebud66]

may i ask how long you been clean?  i missed it along the way somehow.  you are very sweet and your wife is very lucky and by your posts i am sure she is very aware of it.  You my friend are just as lucky. you have the whole package and you are clean also.

You really are an inspiration!!!!

[hopsing94]

Hey my man,how ya holding up. Your a good husband,sounds like you really love her and that is rare these days. I know myself after 2-3 days I really miss my wife to. It's funny how we take some things for granted. Stay strong trout,enjoy your time with your boys i'm sure they would love the one on one time and when she gets home think of how good it will feel to hold her in your arms again. Love like you two have is hard to find these days,you should be proud.   Brother hug {{{{{{{{{{  trout  }}}}}}}}]  John

[Lotsatrout]

Oh my gosh!  You guys are SO NICE!!!  Me and the boys are on day 2 now and we've been having some fun.  Last night I took them to a Dartmouth hockey game in New Hampshire.  It was our first hockey game and we had an absolute blast!  My wife called me 3 times yesterday and I got an e-mail from her this morning.  I won't hear from her nearly as often now that they are in Guatemala but it's nice to know that they arrived safely.  

Everything is going to be ok.  Now that I've slept one night in bed alone and had some time without her it's going to be much easier.  Yesterday was pretty rough though but you guys helped me get through it!  Thanks!  

This forum is great for more than just getting off of drugs and I appreciate all of your support.  Thanks for the PM  VicUser...    You gave me some great ideas!  I still miss her terribly bad and even seeing her pictures in our house brings a tear to my eye.  She is the greatest gift God could have ever given me and I thank him for her every day.  I guess I'm kinda selfish and don't like to share her with anyone else... :)

Trout

[flmagi]

This is such a sweet post. You sound like you're newlyweds.
So, it's just you and your boys? How about doing some guy bonding while the girls are away to keep you busy? Some fishing, eating pizza everyday, burping and farting contests? (That is what guys do, right?) lol
I feel so bad for you but at the same time I think it's so sweet after being married for so long. I hope you can calm down soon. Make her something or plan something special for her welcome home.
Good luck trout and I'm sure we'll be seeing alot of you for the next 10 days.

[LIZZIE LOU]

dont tear up the carpet like my dog does when i leave and she suffers from seperation anxiety...lol.

i know that what has happened in the past is playing a huge role in how you are feeling right now.  she will be ok sweetie...and i am sure she is missing you just as much as you are missing her.  hang on trout...she WILL be home!!!!!!!!!!!!

hugs,
kim

[VicUser]

Are you handy around the house and do you have any woodworking tools?

[toxictome]

We will be here for you...LOL...I know that isn't the same...but.....you will be ok!

Stay in the day...just for today...when you start spinning in how long they will be gone...you're going to make it worse....

THEY"LL BE BACK BEFORE YOU KNOW IT!!!

KEEP POSTING!!!!!!!!

[Lotsatrout]

Ok... It's the end of my first work day while my wife has been gone and things aren't any better than this morning.  I'm full of anxiety and I feel like she died or something.  I know that sounds really extreme but that's honestly how I feel.  I can't imagine 10 more days of this.  I really feel like I'm losing it.  I know this probably sounds really silly but this has me more on edge than coming off of any drug.  We have been together 23 years and this is the first time we will have been apart this long.  Hopefully these feelings will subside over the next few days....

[Lotsatrout]

Hey... that's a great idea traveladdict...  She's going to call me this evening when they get into Dallas, Fort Worth so I'll pall that info along when she calls.  She just called me at work about 20 minutes ago from Logan airport so that was kinda nice.  Thanks again everyone!

Trout

[traveladdict]

I have traveled quite a bit in Guatemala. When she gets there have here find a internet cafe they are fairly available. She will be able to send you updates from there. Even in small towns someone will have a computer that they rent time on.

[AlessandrasMom]

Hey, I completely understand!  Been with my husband for 17 years, married for 8, but I can't stand to have him even go hunting for the weekend!  What a wonderful opportunity though, for your wife and daughter!
Hang in there!

[Lotsatrout]

I'm glad I posted... You guys have already helped me out this morning.  Normally I'm on Instant Messanger with my wife all day and now I can't even talk to her over the computer.  This is going to be tough.  A different kind of withdral I spose with different symptoms.  Thanks again....

Trout