Depression and Anger

[Prissy62]

Hello all, sorry I haven't been on much , I am just having a rough time.  I am on DAY 18 and pretty proud of that , but I feel like ****!.. Physically I am not feeling too bad I suppose, but my biggest issue is depression and anger.  I seem to just have bouts of anger for really no reason.  Has anyone else experienced this?

I go to the doc mon so I think I will talk to him about something to help.  I think I am going to have him check my blood work, I just don't feel right.  We will also have to come up with a plan to treat my pain. (Without Opiates)

I was trying to explain to my husband last night and he said," you (meaning me) wear addict like a badge of courage."  Truth of the matter is, I am very embarrassed by what I have become..

Anyway, I hope you all are well and had a GREAT FRI 13th.

[10356]

Congratulations Prissy on 18 days that is awesome.. and that badge of courage should be worn proudly getting off drugs takes a lot of courage as we have to face illness of body mind and spirit.. I was a mess in the earlier days.. outburst of anger frustration tears of regret.. geez my family was pretty confused by how I was emotionally.. These ease just as the physical does.. getting out of the house and walking really helped with all of this.. get the feel good endorphins flowing and gives you a break from your thoughts..  Keep moving forward and good on you that you are going to be honest with the Dr. that is always a good start :) Hope you are feeling better soon.. lesa

[NoMoreExcuses]

I'll take the burnt food, hey it's better than no food..lol...Prissy I am at 34 days clean and I can tell you I felt the same thing, During the day I was more on edge than normal but when I got home I was like, ok what do I do now?  I felt pretty useless, like I had no direction, no motivation, I was depressed....That seems to be getting better for me though, but it is still a struggle...Congrats on 18 days, each and every day that we don't use is a day moving in the right direction.....

[gizzy32]

I am just over 4 months clean, but would be longer without a couple relapses. Recovery is a process and it's baby steps, you will notice positive changes each week.

P.S. I won't ask you to cook for me, lol.

[Prissy62]

I agree the brain fog is bad, sometimes I really have to think about what I am saying.  I have burnt and trashed more dinners this week, WOW.

I am proud of my 18 days, I just want to be normal again, WHATEVER that is.  

I will ask the doc for something, and yes I will be honest with him.

Thanks for the boost, just what I needed.  How long have you been clean?

[gizzy32]

Sorry your having a rough time. Congrats on 18 days and after w/d's is where the mental and emotional stuff comes. Coming out of that fog and feeling for the first time cause cause good and bad. The first month for me was the worst, i did not have many emotions yet, just anger and depression from realizing what I had done. Most of us here go through these emotions and why aftercare and support are so important. Deep down I am embarrased of being an addict, but not on this forum, we stick together here. When you go to dr Monday you could ask about an antidepressant and be honest with him. I do think as you get some more clean time you will feel better also, 18 days is fantastic, but it's still early and a lot of healing and emotional stuff takes place. Hang in there and keep posting