Need MAJOR help or support!

[Teresa1717]

I really need advice/support tonight! I know its slow here today and maybe even just typing this will help me.

My day started off great! Enjoying Christmas with my mom and my family has been fantastic! But, I found out 2 nights ago My cousin was coming into town but she was suppose to be staying in a hotel. Now I just find out thats not the case, that she is staying here with us! This is a problem and I will tell you all why!

She and I used together MANY times and for many years! Infact, she is the one who got me to smoke cocaine when I was 14 years old. She is the one who got me drunk for the first time. She is the one who on many occasions has sold me pills. Her and I use to do everything together until I moved away 10 years ago. Then we would just get high when she would visit or vice versa.  I would many times over the years try to tell her no, but was always unsuccessful. I havent seen her in about 2 years, and havent talked to her at all since I got clean.  

When I got clean, I cut off ALL my ties!! Everyone who I used with, bought from, I told Dr's. Everything! Anything that would be a trigger for me in that regards, I took care of. Except her! She is a trigger, and one I have never been able to say no to! I always idolized her. I wanted to be her. I did! I became her, a drug addict!

I told her earlier today that I was clean, and she just laughed and said "seriously? Oh, well, hows that working for you?"  My parents both know about my recovery, and I have told them alot of things about what using did to me, but they dont know everything! And my cousin does, and Im afraid if I stir too much stuff up with her that she will let those things "slip"

I am really uncomfortable with how this day is turning out and I realy need advice from someone, anyone! I called my sponsor and left her a message, but its Christmas and I really dont want to bother anyone so Im hoping I can reach out here and get some help/advice/support.

[YesLife4Me]

This is a great reminder to all of us at how ugly addiction is!   You done great and good things do come out of bad situations when we are honest about our addiction.  Im sure your mom is even more proud of you and your accomplishments in overcoming what this has done to you in the past.   Ok...really have to go get ready for work now.  Lol!

[NeedingHope4Me]

YAY I am sooo glad you made it through that Teresa *hugggggz* It's weird how others ugliness can show us why being clean is such a great thing huh?? lol I was juuuust there..not as horrible as your situation of course but I am glad we are both on the sober side after the bullcrp..lol

Its soo good to hear that you can finally be open and honest with your mom..that is a HUGE step ..

Hope your feeling better today <33

[Teresa1717]

I am not going to give my power up to her!! She showed me last night the uglyness of addiction, and it was like looking in a mirror at myself only a few months ago! I may not have done exactly what she did, but I did equally bad stuff!  Last night showed me WHY I want to stay clean and why I am fighting so hard for this thing called sobriety!

My mom and I had a long talk about all of it this morning! She is disappointed in me, but understands it wasnt me who did those things, That it was my addiction. We have alot more to talk about but it will all be good :)

Thanks again everyone and as DS said, Using is NOT an option! :)

[surgsick]

WOW Teresa! I am truely sorry that all this came down like it did and when it did. That being said, YOU ARE COMPLETELY FREE NOW! No more concern, worry, fear, shame and guilt to keep poking its ugly head at you and tempting you anymore. ALL SHAME IS GONE! Your Mother and Father knew that you were an addict and this is just a "sobering" reminder of WHY you wanted, needed and DID get clean! I am so proud of you! STRENGTH! That is what you showed your family today. DETERMINATION is what you showed all of us newbie's on med help (me) and PRIDE is what your parents are feeling ( if not instantly then eventually will) after seeing their daughter (who has dealt with addiction head on) FACE ALL THAT and STOOD HER GROUND and STILL BE SOBER!!  WTG!!!! SO HAPPY YOU CAME OUT ON THE OTHER SIDE SUCCESSFUL!!!  

Shame is an awefull feeling and Guilt is shames brother. Those feelings alone can keep an addict using or cause relapse. I think after the dust settles everyone will be better for the truth being out. Who knows sweetie, maybe this will help your cousin in the long run too. I know that this has helped me to understand that this is WAY more than a pill and its effects on receptors and the body. Stay strong and remember "This too shall pass" Much love and prayers sent your way <3 Laura (4dys)

[dominosarah]

When you talk with your mom explain to her this is what drugs do to a person.  She may be upset right now finding out about your felonies but once she processes this she will come around.  It;s okay for her to be upset.  As for your cousin....I will say this as nice as i can...Kick that b!tch to the curb.  She can justify her using all she wants but she is a full blown addict who is losing all control.  Dont you dare give up your power to her.  She cant make you do anything you dont want too.  You are in control of you now.  Take a long hard look at what happened tonight, she acted the fool and this is what addiction looks like.  You dont live there anymore so continue to move forward and be grateful this isnt you.  Using is NOT an option~

[littlebit667]

Theresa...it seems to be she was going to tell your mother anyway.  Nothing you were going to say was going to stop that.  She manipulated you so she could do what she said she would do.  I really don't think if you had done anything different would have made a different outcome.  Likely, she is jealous of your sobriety and wanted to get even.  You did good.  The secret is out and now it is up to you to help your family understand.  Take care of yourself.