Need Some Help From You All

[tiff78g]

My baby's dad is graduating from a six month rehab facility June 4. He has decided that I will be one of the people who he will choose to present him with his certificate.  Because of this I will be able to speak. I am not sure what exactly is appropriate at his graduation to say. I of course plan on saying how proud I am of him and how I will be with him on this road to recovery and support him in anyway possible.  I want some input on what you would like to hear from your loved ones if you had made such an accomplishment.  Thanks in advance for your help.

tiffiny

[tiff78g]

Thank you so much. I am taking your advice and running with it. I really appreciate it!

tiffiny

[Friend999]

WOW !  Excellent advise !

Friend999

[LIZZIE LOU]

when my son graduated from a year long program...i did not prepare a speech.  i wanted it to come from my heart and just say how and what i was feeling at that moment.  of course...i knew certain topics i wanted to talk about...but didnt plan anything.

some of the things i covered were:

admitted defeat and asked for help
accepted responsibility and stopped blaming others
focused his attention on recovery and away from active addiction
how his addiction had affected his father, his younger brother, and myself and how we were able to forgive him and hoped that he could one day forgive himself

i made sure that he knew how TOTALLY IN AWE i was that he...at 17 years old...had made the decision to give up one year of his life to turn things around.  he left his family, his friends, and his girlfriend of 3 years to do this.  

i thanked his counselors and therapists for their neverending patience and committment to a young man who was lost when he arrived.  i also thanked his peers for the support they gave to him.

i do remember ending my speech by telling him how much i loved and adored the troubled teen who left our house a year before...and how much i now respected the young man he had become.

of course your tears will flow...this will be a very emotional time for you...as it was for me.  i WILL NEVER FORGET watching this child of mine...who had become so hard, so bitter...listen to me as i spoke, with tears pouring from his eyes.  i knew then that he was now honest about his addiction.

my advice would be to not worry about what anyone else might say before you or after you.  i would just look that man that you love...right in his eyes...and tell him from your heart how you feel about what he has accomplished.    

[cathy5841]

wow tiff, that is awesome that he chose you.   i agree with friend, but i think you are very bright and give a wonderful speech.  he is very lucky to have you in his life.  please comeback and let me know how it went.  i would love to even read the spech.  good luck on the speech but even more as you embark on this sober life with him.
cathy

[tiff78g]

Thank you so much for your reply. I will be speaking in front of all of the men in rehab. I have about 15 minutes he said. I know I will tear up, just talking to him about it makes me emotional. I have wanted to see this happen for so long, and fought so hard to make him realize how much better life could be sober. This means so much to me and him choosing me to speak means even more. I love this man, and have fallen even more in love with the sober him. I know there are men in there that have lost everything, and I know I need to address the fact that taking that step, wanting to get help and get their lives back on track is such an amazing accomplishment in itself. I will keep watching this forum, as I have been for some time now and try to get ideas from other posts. Thank you so much.

tiffiny

[Friend999]

P.S. Don't make the topic too emotional for YOU.  It can be emotional, but crying at the podium .... I don't know, it might lose the effect.

Friend999

[Friend999]

I see you have been on here a long time, so you have probably read a lot of posts.  Please look back in your memory as to what you have read for ideas.

Also, we don't know how long you would be allowed to speak, and who you will be speaking to.  If you only will be speaking to other graduates, then speak about what you have suggested above, not only for him, but praise the others.  They will need that also. Speak about how important aftercare is. Maybe, maybe, even mention this forum for aftercare, specifically or in general terms.

If you will also be speaking to those still in rehab, give them a boost too.  I'm not talking about a long speech directed to the others, just a short sentence or two to acknowledge their efforts.

Of course, the main topic would be your significant other. Hope, foregiveness, pride, support, the future if clean, etc.  How about a scenario of what you would like to happen over the next 20 years, a happy successful family, together, with grandkids, etc.

These are only suggestions, good or bad.  You, of course, make the call.

I know you will do a good job, because you asked your question on this forum means you want it to be a good speech.  Follow your heart.

Friend999