Need some help, pregnant on methadone

[indymommy]

Hi everyone, I'm praying SOMEONE can help me here. I am the mother of two wonderful babies and currently in school for nursing. I am also 14 weeks pregnant. I have had an addiction to pain killers for about 7 years now, I've tried the suboxone treatment twice in the last two years and relapsed. About 5 months ago a friend told me if I took methadone that I could quit vicodin and get clean, so I did. But being that I have a problem with opiates, I am now addicted to methadone. When I found out I was pregnant I tried to quit the methadone and started to miscarry and got really sick. I take 30-40 mgs a day. I get them from a friend, not a dr. or clinic. I am scared to death for three reasons, the first is for my unborn child, the second I am afraid if I go to my OB they will try to take my children away (they are my life I love them more than anything on earth), thirdly, my husbands ex works at the hospital where my OB works and she can sneek a peak at my records anytime. I cry everyday over all of this, I just need some help and don't know where to turn. I've read sub is not approved for pregnancy, so what should I do??? I live in Indiana and I don't know the protocol for things like this. Should I just try to quit on my own? I've tried to wean down but it's hard, my body starts aching 12-15 hours after taking a dose. I'm so scared and worried. Please help!!

(Please don't reply if you have any negative things to say, I know that I am terrible for doing this but I need and want to get clean more than you can possibly imagine, and if you want to judge me go ahead, but I promise it can't be worse than the way I feel about myself)

[princess2000]

I am a former CPS worker and may can answer some of your questions.  I am not judging you, only here to help.  Feel free to ask away.  I worked for CPS for 12 years and just resigned in August.  Please do not be afraid of me, only here to help for the sake of your unborn baby and yo too!!!


Princess 2000

[cathy5841]

indymommy,  just wanted to offer you support.  1234betterlife will be in touch.  she is a great lady and will help you.  kim is also pretty awesomt too..  keep posting there is alot of support here and we dont judge, we are in the same boat here.  just trying to get and stay clean.  congrats on the new baby by the way.

[indymommy]

Thanks for the msg. I have tried to get help on forums before for other things and people could be so cruel. They just don't understand that not all addicts want to be that way. I never thought I would end up this way. Please contact her for me, that would be greatly appreciated! Thanks again Kim!

[kim715]

Okay  hon,I sent her a pm asked her to look at your post.Shes great about getting in touch with people pretty fast so keep checking your inbox.Her name is 1234betterlife.

[kim715]

Honey none of us are here to judge you.We're only here to help.I have personal experience with methadone.I've been clean from it for 8 months,but being pregnant makes things a little different.There is a wonderful lady here who is an ob/gyn nurse and she helps lots of woman in your situation.I'll send her a pm and ask her to get in touch with you as soon as she can.Hang in there and keep posting.This is a great place for help and support and there are a few other ladies in your situation right now who can really relate to what you are going through.....All the best....Kim