Needing encouragement

[Jennibean]

I have been lurking on this site for a couple months but this is my first post. I would come here when I was running out of my scripts thinking of quitting and when I had a new refill you would never find me here because I was in denial. I have been taking Vicodin for the past 8 months everyday and lately I have been taking (12) 5/500 or (8) 7/750. I occasionally had scripts of percocet in there too. It started with a back injury and when that was feeling better my gall bladder started giving me alot of pain. It took them a couple months to diagnose my gall bladder problem but I had it removed on Jan 8 and I guess you could say I am pain free. So natuarlly time to stop taking pain medicaition. Well that proved impossible!! If I woke up without any I was so depressed and I would go to any Dr or Dentist to get more. So I wrote my Dr a letter telling him about my problem and I sat there as he read it. I knew I was bringing my main supply to an end but I had to. His solution was to give me oxycontin so I wouldn't have the ups and downs because it lasts 12 hours, he gave me a small dose of 10mg's and took me to take it for 10 days and then every other day for 5 days. Hmm yeah right you know that was gone in just 3 days! From there I hit urgent cares and dentists and suddenly this past Sunday I didn't feel like going and waiting 3 hours at urgent care. I decided I would finally quit, well I was so sick I couldn't take care of my child my hudsbad had to lift her because my back hurt so bad. The diarreah has been awful so I keep immodium next to me at all times. But the worst part was trying to go to sleep. I tried everything but to no avail, my legs and arms were flying all over the place, I was SO aware of my feet it was unreal, guess they had been somewhat numb for 8 months. After  not sleeping I knew I needed to go back to my Dr and ask for more help or I would just go find some Vicodin because the feeling of withdrawl was unbearable. So my Mom came over and I went to the Dr, he gave me a script for Ativan and that is going to help me I think, It stops me from having panick attacks and most importantly stops my feet from jumping around. I told him no more opiates! I was afraid he would try more of that and after one night of detox I know I never want to start this again. I don't drink or do recreational drugs, I didn't go into this looking to get high I did it because I was in pain. I am no longer in pain and I need to stop taking these things because they are affecting my life, haven't made love to my husband in 8 months, my Mom and Brother's and sister are all worried about me thinking somehow I have changed but not knowing why, I thought they made me feel normal how I was suuposed to feel but after just three days, the colors are brighter and the way I think truly is different. I have a LONG way to go which Is why I finally decided to post. 3 days is NOTHING compared to the 8 months I was on them. I still feel awful and am wondering when this will go away. Like a bad flu almost but I know the Ativan are helping. I only have those for 10 days though so I hope it gets better soon. Will I ever have that feeling of well being again without vicodin? I took 2 and knew my life was fine everything was fine..LOL now I am not so sure and I am scared!
When will I wake up happy again? I used to say people who did drugs were idiots and I LOVED feeling normal. I can remember saying it but don't remember what normal feels like! Thank you for listening, I really hope I can do this. I have never tried before because I never really want to quit, I want to take them for the rest of my life!

[spook]

In the PAST,I have used Dihydrocodeine about 3 times per week in single doses of 180mg for 6 months,and on a separate occassion I have used Morphine IV 30mg;3x per day (every day) for 6 months.Heres the weird thing,THE DIHYDROCODEINE WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS WERE MUCH WORSE and the dose of Morphine 30mg IV 3x day(90mg) is equal to about 300mg Morphine orally per day,which is(theoretically) equal to about 1800mg of dihydrocodeine per day,(10x the equivalent dose and I got 10x more stoned off the Morphine IV)NOW I will point out that,that dose of dihydrocodeine 1800mg if you did take it even in divided doses WOULD KILL YOU no matter what your tolerance.
Anyway you will need around 60mg of Morphine Daily(maybe more) ORALLY to substitute for the Dihydrocodeine,you are currently using.
And the really crazy thing is You should never use Dihydrocodeine in doses such as you have been given and to do it for long periods of time is complete Doctor incompetence.you should not exceed 180 mg per day and it should never be used long term.Find yourself a REAL Doctor.Morphine is an Incredibly good drug and very quick and easy to get over if you become addicted,whereas dihydrocodeine is a freaking nightmare,no actually,its worse at least you can wake up from a nightmare.I will keep an `eye out` for further posts from you and good luck.

[PS >>>>Annie]

I had to giggle.....when reading your reply.  I'd gladly give you his address...lol.....I'd like to give 'em all a little kick myself....right in the EGO......lol.  Thank you...
Annie

[PS >>>>Annie]

First of all...sorry you had to go through this.  You made the right decision in finding a new doctor.  My Gp was giving me pain meds till I could have the plate removed, but would have wheeled me into surgury, himself, if he could.  He didn't like the idea of prescribing pain meds so that I could get my life in order.  He wanted my problem fixed, so there would be no more reason to prescribe, never mind the fact that I will be in pain for the rest of my life anyway.  
Are there strict drug laws in the UK??  Does it effect a physicians decision making process, as it does here in the U.S.??
I'm glad you had that situation turned around.  Just remember, when it comes to narcotic pain medications...most doctors are looking out for themselves.  Don't ever let them make a decision for you.  We have to fight for our right to be included in the decision making process of our plan of care.

Good to hear from you,

Annie

[Andy]

Hi,

sorry I haven't posted recently, I have had a nightmare time!
My GP doesn't like the idea of using constant morphine slow release and has said that basically I should stop messing around and have my eye removed! Great ha!

I felt so much preasure to have the eye removed but I thought why should I let him push me around, he doesn't know what it's like and how useful the light perception is. And I also know that removing the eye might not stop the pain as it is a neuropathic condition. The stupid doctor was going to cut me off of my Dihydrocodeine tartrate which i'm taking 240 - 360 mg a day, and not replace it with anything. Since I have been taking it for 18 months then I can only imagine the withdrawl syndrome.

I am now changing doctors so that I can have someone who is willing to work with the pain specialist/psyciatrist/psycologist who all are willing to support me in my decision. They all feel that Morphine will make my life a lot more bareable because at the moment i am finding it so difficult to live. I know that Morphine helps the pain because I have been using it at night for 6 months to reduce the pain enough to sleep. But it is taking so long to get the change from Dihydrocodeine to Morphine sorted (about 5 weeks so far) that I am getting really frustrated.

Sorry about the length of this post
Best wishes to everyone
Andy

[spook]

Exactly,and look who suffers THE MOST,the innocent like you,Withdrawals are nothing compared to what you are going through,I have tried to explain the Doctors dilemma and the addicts,these drugs CAN destroy peoples lives,but SOME not all Doctors need their arse kicked,I would actually kick his if I was in the USA,could not care if I got arrested or not.

[cindi]

Annie,  I hope you are feeling better....This really literally makes me sick....why did this doc tell you that is all he could prescribe.  That is such bull ****...I went through this after a horrible c-section.   Darvocet.....that was ****...I told him I needed something stronger  so he gave me T#3's  then finally Vicodin regualar strength.  Thank God your pain is lessening....God does work in mysterious ways.  Ohhhh  I wish I was your nurse....This totally infuriates me,   My stepmom had some major surgery today  a hernia and a large tumor that was wrapped around her colon  the size of a grapefurit  they did the surgery and sent her home...What are we coming to?  The care people are receiving anymore is **** also.  Take care and feel better  Send me maik if you want to talk.....Love to all   cindi