New boyfriend on methadone program

[newtimes]

Hi everybody
I have just started dating this man and become very attracted to him, he is warm, caring, affectionate and kind. He dropped the “I’m on methadone program” bomb on me after the first week and now I’m seriously not sure whether to continue with him.  He has opened up about being a heroin addict on and off for 3 years and has been on the meth program now for 6 months. We live on a remotely where access to drugs is very difficult so I have no fear that as long as we remain here heroin will not be an issue.  I have read a bit about methadone but he is reluctant to talk about how it affects him. Are there systems that are very common or standard among methadone users? He said he is on 20ml (a week/a day I’m not sure). Emotionally does it affect how you feel or ability to love?  He seems completely normal to me I would have never of picked it if he hadn’t told me. I don’t judge the situation and I believe he is a good person with a recent rough past, I would just like to know what I’m getting myself into here before I fall in love with him. Is this program successful, does anybody ever come off and live happily ever after?      

[gnarly_1]

HI and welcome to the forum.....I was on methadone for 6 1/2yrs to manage pain in my lower back I went from a small dose of 30mg all the way up to 150ml to try and kill the pain...you build up a tolerance to it and they slowly move your dose up...I wound up at 150ml and it quit working for pain control so I had a huge addiction to break free of
20ml is a low dose....there are even people here on this forum that have quit at that dose
I personally wouldn't recommend it ....you need to taper down slowly to a much lower dose to avoid major withdrawals...methadone dosent get you high persay but it does
effect you mentally...it sorta puts your mind in a quit fog that you don't notice till your off it...as for the addiction....im still an addict but im not living in active addiction my vise
started off with 10yrs of pain pills b/4 methadone was used as a last resort to kill the pain of 2 bad disks in my back and 3 more deteriorating..today I mange my pain with ivuprofin and tylonol it is enough to take the edge off and I just live with the remaining pain...I can give you a 100 reasons to get off methadone but they will do you no good if he is not ready to get off it...getting off it is difficult but doable it just takes some time
good luck and God bless ....Gnarly.....check you e/mail im sending you a private message    

[newtimes]

thanks. I'm not trying to get him of sorry if thats the immpression I've goven everybody. I support the program and know that it will take time and trust his docter (who is very good) to know what is best for him. I really would like to know if there's life after meth with addiction?? is there anyway he come out of this completely normal with a colourfull past. It really interests me that you say his mind is in a bit of a fog, can you explain more about that, do you think his dose would have that effect? he is very affectionate and loving in his actions, and he comes accross as caring very much for me. I'm worried I'll fall in love with someone that can't mentally love me back whilst he's on meth. Any help is so appreciated

[MARTIE1967]

I am 43 and have been on methadone for 6 years, I have done all kinds of drugs my whole life and was never able to stay off long mostly methamphetamine...but I got addicted to pills(vicodin,loratab, oxycodone)after a surgery and couldnt get off them so I got on methadone, and it was the best thing I have ever done for myself, FOR ME it takes all thought of using away...drug addiction is a disease, and we are not bad people because of this... if I didnt get on the program I probably would be dead or in prison...today I have a wonderful husband who supports me being on the program, a son who would never believe his mom was like that, and good friends,and we are getting ready to buy our second home.. I used to think methadone was for losers, I was UNEDUCATED and ARROGANT... I take 30 mg a day,its a mantenance dose, I dont feel it at all, I am happy healthy functioning person in society..its been the longest time in my life without street drugs, 6 years, at this point in my life those times on drugs seem worlds away......

regarding you.....its iffy if 6 months is long enough to start having a relationship.... its hard to say if he's ready... dont fool yourself into thinking he cant get drugs, if he is going to a clinic for methadone he can most certianly can find somone to get them.... ...but maybe he wont and he is at a point in his life he is ready to stop.... I got on the program and haven't used since, but some people do struggle..... and since you have kids you dont really need to be focused on his problems,and what he may or may not do.. I know its hard when you start to really care about someone, but in NA they say not to have a relationship for the first year.....and I have to say since you have kids, and dont know the first thing about recovery and addiction, and he is still new in recovery,I wouldnt get involved, but thats just my opinion, you really need to do whats right for you

sincerely, m

[newtimes]

my gut feeling is that he is ready, not because I want him to be but because he is really making good postative fresh start here (he lived on the mainland previously). He doesn't go to a clinic for meth he has a doc prescription and goes to the pharmacy, he is the only person I know of (and its a small place) that is on this medication so its not like he is surrounded by drugs users. Even pot is extremly hard to get ahold of here. Anway if he wasnted that lifestyle back if and when he comes of meth he would have to move home and I certaintly am not leaving here for many years.
I'm really glad you have a postative story it gives me a bit of hope when making this decision to continue or not.

[kc156]

Hello.  I take 9ml a day and will be off it soon.IF he is on 20ml he is on a VERY low dose. Just because he is on methadone ,does not mean he is bad to the bone,necessarily .
  What are his buddies like?
  While on methadone I have continued to work and never had a positive pee sample in 4 years.So play it  as it goes,he could just be a nice guy who found a way to help himself.

karl

[mr.lucky66]

This situation is unique and it could be good medicine, for now. Methadone is a double edged sword and can be really helpfull but it is very abused . I was off and on it for years on many clinics and it really worked well for a few years but after that, I was lazy bored and started using other drugs. Some people do well on methadone for a year or 2, others never do well on it because they have other addiction likes booze or cocaine and it just depends. Too many people these days are told they need methadone for life when they may not. I was told that and proved them wrong. It sounds like a good thing for him and especialy because he doesn't have to go to a clinic or be around users. My view is for most addicts, it's a good thing for a year or 2 and after that it can be very hard to get off of and not work as well with too many side effects. everyone is different. all best