Aa
where do i go from here????
i just starting taking saboxone(1 pill broke into 4 pieces a day)4 days ago and i have been feeling really uncontrollably anxious,i dont know if its because i am nervous,scared of everything that i have to do because getting completely clean and living sober is all that i can think about,i want it so bad or also i have literally only had about 4hrs of half way awake sleep in a week..i dont know i guess i am just wondering if anyone has any advice about saboxones,or recovery...and maybe some help with where to exactly start on my road to recovery because right now it just feels very overwhelming and i dont want to set myself up for failure,i want this more than i've ever wanted anything!!! I mean the saboxen are for sure helping in a dont feel completely crazy like i did when i tried to quit cold-turkey,but i know that they are not all i need,i know i need after care like outpatient,or counseling i just dont know where exactly to start,sometimes i feel like everything going to be ok and than other times i feel like its not happeneing fast enough,sorry if this is all over the place like i said 4hrs of sleep in a week feel like im going to crash really hard,but cant even fall asleep been layin in bed with my eyes closed and t.v off and still no sleep..is this normal with saboxens?? (UGH) i just seen my dr yesterday and asked all kinds of questions but at the timei was feeling pretty ok and it didnt even cross my mind about everything went through the night before (untill last night) when i was once again crying my eyes out when started talking to my boyfriend about how mean and evil i became when i was on drugs.....anyways again sorry any advice for a someone so new into this???
the doctor put me on them,but he said the other day i might not be getting enough of the saboxen only taking one a day but for a little while sick to my stomach feeling went away (when he had me take another quarter) but now that i am only takin a quarter 4xs i feel soooo sick,he gave me a emergency number but im just scared that he is gonna think im just trying to abuse them because i was ok yesterday...idk the not sleeping is seeming to have a really bad impact on my mood,im really like bitter like all day today so i am thinking about going to get something otc for tonight until i call my dr tomorrow,i am going to try to find some na meetings in my area because it doesnt help that im in a new state where i only know my boyfriend so i have no friends or family here for support and my boyfriend is always at work so im pretty much always by myself taking care of our one year old daughter on no sleep (ugh) i have faith that this is going to work,i trust my doctor he too is a recovering addict and is amazing to talk to (actually feel like a human,unlike some doctors i've seen) i just wanted to make sure im not the only one out there thats ever felt this way and i really appreciate you taking time to respond to this i'm really new to this and my hearts all in it,(rambling again sorry no sleep) lol but thank you so much for the adive and the tips!!!!!
Another thing dr put me on 16 mgs and I started by cutting in fourths and increasing everyday. I did do something wrong in beginning. I changed my own dose without asking dr. back to 8mg to see if it helped vomiting. It didn't and now I am back on 16 mgs, I had a few things going on and dr said it sounded like I was going into withdraw and I needed to get back to my original. I had to call him after I cut back on my own and he wasn't to happy.
I started on suboxone 20 days ago. I feel like a different person. I was nearly 4 months clean from vics and somas. Which made me sort of mean and angry most of the time too. Anyway I could not get over the dope sick feelings I was having and I just couldn't manage a ounce of energy, I watched a lot of TV and sit on this stupid laptop. I couldn't cook, clean, enjoy anything and my concentration was very short. I was tired of feeling so bad after being clean the 4 months. Doctor put me on suboxone and I feel like new. I have energy, motivation, finding things interesting again, enjoying things I lost interest in. Myy memory has also improved.
I have had absolutely no pain I am still not sleeping well either. But my therapist says sleep will come and no one has died from some sleepless nights unless other underlying condition. I am starting to get a few hrs of steady sleep now. I am ready for a full night though. My sub doctor gave me sleeping pills (lunesta), but I am not taking it, I don't want hooked on a different pill. When I first started to get clean I was only planning on taking the vic and somas to rest and nothing else. But after I got started I decided to get a little cleaner and stopped taking my ativan, halcion for sleep, Now I am off more pills elavil antidepressant, and trazadone to help me fall asleep faster. One thing is that I am vomiting sometimes, not sure why, but it comes on suddenly I am not nauseous all the time, I vomit and a few minutes later I feel peachy.
I think I went through a panicky time for a few days. I was wondering what now at first also. I finally just had to talk to myself and not worry about what now anymore. Those things will work out. I am spending a lot of time on here in forum. I read everything everyone writes and I get ideas from them or advice others give to other addicts. I also attend NA meeting regularly and that helps a lot. People there understand me, I can talk my mind without being judged, I do better sharing with the group and feel more involved in my recovery and what I am doing to get there. Sharing with a group also helps if there is a newcomer that night. The newcomer is learning from what other addicts have to say. They know they are not alone in there fight for a healthier and productive lifestyle and that there is hope to stay clean and sober. I also now give time to NA buy opening up the church for meetings on Wednesday nights. I make coffee, set up chairs and get the literature out on the tables for newcomers to find. NA calls it service work.
I wish you luck with you journey to your new you. I am here if you ever want to talk.
I have had absolutely no pain I am still not sleeping well either. But my therapist says sleep will come and no one has died from some sleepless nights unless other underlying condition. I am starting to get a few hrs of steady sleep now. I am ready for a full night though. My sub doctor gave me sleeping pills (lunesta), but I am not taking it, I don't want hooked on a different pill. When I first started to get clean I was only planning on taking the vic and somas to rest and nothing else. But after I got started I decided to get a little cleaner and stopped taking my ativan, halcion for sleep, Now I am off more pills elavil antidepressant, and trazadone to help me fall asleep faster. One thing is that I am vomiting sometimes, not sure why, but it comes on suddenly I am not nauseous all the time, I vomit and a few minutes later I feel peachy.
I think I went through a panicky time for a few days. I was wondering what now at first also. I finally just had to talk to myself and not worry about what now anymore. Those things will work out. I am spending a lot of time on here in forum. I read everything everyone writes and I get ideas from them or advice others give to other addicts. I also attend NA meeting regularly and that helps a lot. People there understand me, I can talk my mind without being judged, I do better sharing with the group and feel more involved in my recovery and what I am doing to get there. Sharing with a group also helps if there is a newcomer that night. The newcomer is learning from what other addicts have to say. They know they are not alone in there fight for a healthier and productive lifestyle and that there is hope to stay clean and sober. I also now give time to NA buy opening up the church for meetings on Wednesday nights. I make coffee, set up chairs and get the literature out on the tables for newcomers to find. NA calls it service work.
I wish you luck with you journey to your new you. I am here if you ever want to talk.
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