ONE Year!

[Bkitty]

OMG in true Bkitty form I typed a long post and I hit something and erased it! Nov 8, 2011 was supposed to be the day I died. It ended up being the first day of the rest of my life,,sober. Some of you all have followed and supported me from Day 1 and know that it was a trying year for me. I stumbled along and fell (relapsed mentally a few times) a few times but I always got back up. I literally owe my life to some of the members here. Im doing OK these days. Some days are harder than others. I ended up stopping my meds for depression and learned a HUGE lesson. One: dont ever do that! Two: I need them. Tomm is going to be a hard day for me. I remember last year so vividly. Buying the chain at Lowes,,looking for the "spot" to hang,,popping over 28 perks. By the grace of God I ended up going to sleep that night and according to my husband "snored something fierce!". I woke up Nov 9 and then my life changed. Im still humble. Grateful. I cant thank everyone here enough! (((hugs)))~Bkitty

[gnarly_1]

WOOOOHOOO congrats to you your doing great keep up the hard work you deserve this.....Gnarly

[YesLife4Me]

Wow!  What a story!   Im pretty new here, but wanted to say congrats and wlecome back to life!    

[dominosarah]

I am so happy that your attempt failed my friend.  I would of never gotten to know what a wonderful woman you are~

Congrats on your 1 yr anniversary where you took back your life~~

[Conjen]

Congratulations I'm on day 4 and think I'm going to die 1 year that's amazing

[vicki595]

No kidding Sarah!!

This is a great occasion ! I'm happy for you and proud of you; I know it's been tough at times, struggles and great accomplishments...Now here you are and you're whole. Wonderful!! (  Plus the humor is always fun!! )

[Teresa1717]

Congrats on 1 year! That is an amazing accomplishement, especially considering you pulled yourself up straight from the bottom to get here! Hold on tight to this year and I hope you have so many more clean ones to come!

[Bkitty]

You are not going to die sweetie!! I promise! Believe it or not time does go by fast,,in hindsight. Dont give up!

~Thank You all so very much! :')

[Pat1956100]

Wow
I am so glad your plan failed.  This just proves how this forum saves lives.
Thanks so much for sharing such a difficult story.  

[Bkitty]

Yes,,the forum saves lives. I agree Pat! I came here on some of my darkest days and everyone here pulled me thru.

[vicki595]

You're so right Pat. The forum is a very powerful place for many, in the most positive way. It would take A LOT for that to change and I truly doubt it ever will...no matter what...

[Bkitty]

I didnt start journaling until Day 3. Here is what I wrote. From then on I journaled daily sometimes 2x day.

The depression is overbearing,,I feel lost, hopeless,,like my life is ruined. I feel Like Im in the bowels of hell. I feel Like I have nothing to look forward to. Sometimes I wish that I would just die,,just not wake up. I hurt. I realize now I was abusing percocet because I am in pain-its a pain medication right? How appropriate,,huh? I hanging on by  a thread right now. I have an appointment on Tuesday with a psychiatrist. I know that I need to be in some after care or program. Im not sure if I need to be inpatient even.


This forum saved my life~

[vicki595]

Thank God...

[Teresa1717]

Wow! Powerful stuff. So glad you found this place!

[clean_in_ks]

FIREWORKS.....BLAST OFF (for Kyle).....CELEBRATE YOU!!!

365 DAYS IS AMAZING!!!!!  (and I love what the picture on your profile says, too)

I love to hear about ANY long term, big, milestones.  And you will most likely never forget the night before you got clean.  You've come so far....

I, too, while drug induced, had more than one plan on taking my life.
Had a  special little box razor knife stashed behind my clock radio....just for when I had the courage to use it.  Also, after going 3 yrs without a car,
after I finally got one, then I could do it "that" way with the garage door shut when my hubby left for something.
Once my mind was not saturated in drugs, and I mean saturated.....the thoughts about ending my life started to fade.

I didn't travel your one yr journey with you on this site, didn't even find the forum until I was 60 days clean.  Can see where having this support would have helped me.  But, you bkitty, are helping me NOW.  
"And I thank you"  (singin that song from long ago ha!) You're probably too young to remember it....."You didn't have to treat me like you did, like you did, but I thank you")  Ok...enuf Ha!

I have been reading some info on our nervous systems and brains taking from 6 mos to a year to heal and function properly again.  (Cause at 138 days my body is really not "bouncing back" yet.)
SOOO.....I'm believin that!  And celebrating you and your 365 DAYS!!
Blessings to you~
Connie

[Pat1956100]

I think finding this forum saved me from so much despair.  Just finding out that I wasn't alone in this madness has helped so much.  I have met so many people who really, really care and it's overwhelming.  It seems we have such a common bond and way of thinking.  Nothing seems to shock any of us.
It all starts by making that first post and I hope others that are hurting and feeling alone read your thread bkitty and reach out for help.  There are some amazing people ready to help.

[Jade59]

You! ♥

Tomorrow might be overwhelming, but that is what's good about a day...it ends.  On the 9th, everything will be new and you will move forward and leave those memories behind.  

Hugs...xoxo

[Bkitty]

Awww,,blushing. Thank You!! Everyday that I fought was worth it. I need to unlock my journals,,so people here esp the newer members can see the struggle I went thru. Its hard reading them. I fought so hard! I still am! This is part of me now,,sobriety and I have to work on it every.single.day. I had to start my 90 meetings in 90 days again and then when I am done I was told to do it again! Ive missed one in the last 60 days and believe me ,,like tonight I was kicking and screaming as I was tired and just wanted to get home and visit my sick kitty. But I got a standing ovation and my one year coin. This forum can save your life too,,if you let it. Listen to the vetern members. Listen to Kyle. Do the work. Fight and dont give up!

[conhall]

This Forum is a very powerful special Place. And you are one of the reasons why :))) I am so proud of you <3
You are always so positive and offer so much support. Congrats (((HUGS)))

[Bkitty]

I unlocked the first 20 days of my journal for you!! These are my feelings raw and emotional! You are not alone!! I pulling for you!!

[ricart70]

Great job Kitty,you are awesome!!!   you did the work you deserve the reward

[smiles4eva]

One year ...wooohoooo!  Please do something extra special tomorrow for yourself!  Congrats Bkitty, soooo happy for you!

[Leaveurfearsbehind]

I've only been signed up for a few days but have been lurking for a while. Signing up has helped me so much! Everyone has been so kind and understanding. I just love reading these sucess stories it really gives me confidence that one day I can post that I'm a year clean! Awesome job! Keep up the good work.

[addict3]

Congrats to you on one year!
Im glad you failed at your first attempt.

[buddycrunch]

To all, but awesome to see 'smiles' back today.

Kitty, big congrats,  I assume you got ur well earned NA medallion, if not, email me an address/po box, work addy, friend's addy etc, and I will send one to you!  You earned it many ways for urself and inspiring others.

i've gotta run so don't have enough time atm, to go through all threads, I know they are in great hands when I see you great ones on tonight.  B4 we go 2 sleep 2nite, lets all say a prayer for dominosarah!

TY, & GL 2morro Teresa.  

PS: Pat I'm mad at you for going a whole day without speaking, hope u slept well.