day 19

[usarmymedic1]

I was 1000 days clean when I had to go back on Narcotic painkillers. (yea 1,000 days) I tried everything in my power not to go back on them but had no choice. I had to have a spinal fusion dec 22 2010 on dec 25 a coughing spill caused a screw to break from the bone so had a revision on the 28th. Then in feb 2011 I was in a car accident and I broke L2 in 3 places and L4 in one place which happens to be one vertibra above my Fussion also I severed half my nose from my face. So I stopped takeing the meds in Apr 15th 2011. So why do I fell like I failed from the first time it is eating at my core I don't fail. 15 years in the army I never failed once.

stay strong
Army strong
Medic 1

[usarmymedic1]

don't mind at all I really injoyed my time I spent in th army I miss it every day

medic1
chris

[10356]

Hello Medic1 I hope you do not mind but I checked out your photos.. Thank the good spirits you survived !! It looks as if it was very painful. Please do not beat yourself up over having to use pain meds as has been said you still have that 1000 days and I believe you will again. They did a good job fixing up your nose and I send a prayer that your back comes out as well.. I would also like to take this time to Thank you for your service for our Country and the bravery it took to help those wounded.. respectfully lesa

[usarmymedic1]

thanks for your kind words skidmore

sarah did you look at those pics that I add from the accidentt?

[dominosarah]

Congrats on 500 days clean~~~sara

[Skidmore]

You go army doc,Thanks for serving our country. LIke yourself I was injured prety bad I hit a steet sander in a head on collision.I was stoned out of my mind .Shattered my hip pelvice,broken jaw ,cheak bone and other injuries.I have 18 screws in my hip ,wire mesh and other hardware.Some days are very difficult just to move and stay focused on any task.The pain gets pretty bad at times.As it has in the past 3-out of 4 days.I had put together 15 years clean and sober and picked up my first vicoden pill.60-pills lasted 6-months first scrip.Then all bets were off.3-refills lasted about 2months.It turned into 30-40 vikes or perks a day for about 4 years.Today I know that if I take 1-pill know mater what that will leed me to full blown addiction.I have to remember something that I learned in Paris Island Pain is good and extream pain is extreamly good.I know that whatever I am going through, that too shal pass.Today i am clean about 500 days and I get through this 1-day at a time. Good luck my brother

[usarmymedic1]

yeah few scars but other than that it is all good

[dominosarah]

Were they able to fix your nose?

[usarmymedic1]

Thanks I just find I put so much on me never to take them agian and I hate the fact that I went back on them knowing what hell I would go threw when I decided to come off of them. my pain manegment Dr. was pissed but helped me with the withdrawals. He looked at me after I told him I had been off of the meds for 5 days and said pissed but understand. My surgeon does not know yet see him on friday will find out how well all the fractures have held and the fussion. have not had exrays since feb. my faciual fractures I hope are healing thanks for the help still feel like **** but hey I am the hardest on me

[dominosarah]

medic....Come on now, you didnt fail at all.  You still have those 1000 days and then some.  You were injured, had surgery and that is what pain meds are for.  Work on getting yourself healed from the accident and dont spend time worrying about failing.....YOU DIDNT,      sara

[GMcp]

as addicts i think we forget that the narcotic pain control is ment to be used for PAIN! you didnt fail hun AT ALL! you needed it and thats what its for so dont be like that :P
xoxo stay strong

[udoschoices]

Ya man- come on.. Ur being hard on yourself.. U have a reason for taking them! As opposed to goobers like me eating them by the handful chasing a high that's long gone... You were hurt bad bro, they have a time and place for something as traumatic as that!!!!  I'm sure it's frustrating but not like you just fell off the wagon just for kicks... Be proud of yourself, 1000 days is awesome and get healed then pick back up where you left off

[Eebb26]

I'm new to the whole addiction thing and still trying to wean down but it sounds to me like u really had no choice with that much pain and that much damage to your spine, face, back, ect,ect...
How cld anyone bare to deal w that w out meds?
It sounds like u r on the right track and are aware of ur addiction and doing the right thing. Just keep going in the right direction and best of luck with ur recovery (pain & meds)

[vicki595]

Uh...HELLO???   You didn't fail.  You had to take pain meds for ALL THE RIGHT REASONS!!

Now,you're not taking them so stop beating on yourself. Sometimes we get hurt,need surgery,a root canal treament.etc...it happens...we're human even though some of us are wicked tough (like you!).

You still have your thousand days...