Just a rant...

[Jenny9906]

I feel crazy right now...like in a nutty way, not in a dangerous way. Every time I've walked into the kitchen to get the kids something today, I've stared at the piles of dishes in the sink, and have seriously looked at them like the enemy. Then I go lay back on the couch. I'm so awesome. Last night I made a list of 3 super lame-o things to try to accomplish today....as of an hour ago, I seriously didn't do any of them. The. It's back in the kitchen, stare at the the dirty dishes, shudder, go back in the living room sit down, ugh I gotta go to the bathroom AGAIN but I just sat down...ahhhhh! And I have a dishwasher....for real??? Well, I finally did away with the enemy (the dishes)...I feel like laughing hysterically, crying, and screaming all at the same time. Good god wth??? Then I feel like my legs each weight 2 tons, went upstairs to get somethhing for my daughter, and seriously felt like I wasn't going to make it up the stairs. When I did, I walked past my bedroom and stared at my bed thinking of that as the enemy too, because I'm clearly not going to get any sleep tonight either....why even bother going to bed tonight? It's just going to be another night of hell. Sorry for my rant, I just really needed to get that out there.

[brandiroars386]

Vic and Msdelight are right on.  The only thing that you need to worry about being clean is you.  Yes the dishes, the laundry..whatever, will always be around, but you may not.  Do what you can for now, don't beat yourself up if you can't get the chores done that you had in mind. This is going to pass, just like everyone has said.  It's a promise we can all make to you.  Just hang on, you really are brave and should be proud of what you have already gone through. :)

[hlpplse]

Hey Jenny if all else fails just take the dishes and laundry with you in the Jacuzzi and you can do them all at once while soaking...I just saw this on Americas Cheapskates show, LOL!! Seriously though you are doing great and this will pass, focus on you and the kids and leave the dishes, laundry and other chores for later:)

[ariley13]

You just got me giggling picturing you in the tub with your kids throwing toys at you!Thank you. Needed that! Lucky girl to have a jacuzzi! Hang in there. I promise that things will get better very soon as long as you don't use. Don't use not matter what!!

[Jenny9906]

Yes, the baths help...I have a jacuzzi, so that does help a lot, although I can't stay in for long because my kids come in and throw toys at me. LOL. The baths seem to help while I'm in them, but for only about 5 minutes after...then it's the same thing all over again.  What a $&@?!@$ nightmare this all is.

Thank you so much for your support everyone....I really appreciate it AND I REALLY need it right now

[msdelight]

Just don't use. That is your biggest best and most important thing to accomplish today. And guess what? YOU DID IT!!! And that is AWESOME!!  Be proud of you - we are! There will be more dishes tomorrow,  but Vic is so right! What good will a clean house do them if you're not in it? The only thing that needs to be clean right now is you!

[ariley13]

Have you tried hot baths with epsom salts? They really can help with that yucky skin crawling as well as the restless leg stuff and aches and pains.

[Jenny9906]

Thank you so much...I probably wouldn't be getting up doing anything at all if I didn't have to take care of my kids. I just a REALLY want the restless, skin crawling, feel like jumping out of my skin feeling to stop. I can't take it, it's making me crazy. :(

[ariley13]

You just rant and vent away! What you are feeling is very normal and will pass. Great job on doing those evil dishes! I know how hard it is to muster up the strength and do even the simplest of things in the beginning. Hang in there and keep the faith because it does get so much better. Keep pushing yourself. The more active you are, the better you will feel and the quicker you will heal. It also helps to boost the self esteem and keep you mind active and off of obsessing about using. Keep posting and keep fighting. You are doing a fantastic job!

[danielle_nicole]

Don't feel crazy.  What you are feeling is normal.  When I was detoxing I would just be sitting there & start crying.  & give yourself some credit, you did do the dishes,  which is more then I did the whole time I was detoxing. & this may sound weird, but I could not sleep laying down, but if I sat down in a comfy chair,  put both my feet on the floor, & had the tv on, I would eventually dose off for a little while. But don't be too hard on yourself about what you feel like you should or should not be doing & feeling. There is no right or wrong way.  Just do not use, NO MATTER WHAT.  That is really the only rule.  & one day you will wake up & feel better then the day before, & so on.  

[VICourageous]

Keep on pushing..This here will all pass..Forget about this for right now..I had to and that was the hardest thing..That is why I always used drugs to get me Buzzed up for the last 40 years off & on..Now I just take baby steps even after a Year..BUT it does get done..This is my Biggest thing I had to change..These things will get done and if we use we might die so WTF is the use of using so we can get some material things done..It will get better..Your sleep will come back soon..Try not to fight that either. Hang On..lol