Aa
One pill, two pill, white pill, blue pill
Anyone out there have any advice for someone who has recognized that they have a drug addiction problem, started to go to AA, but has relapsed? I was doing OK in AA and starting to feel better until I picked up again. I was prescribed some Percocet and Vicodin for a kidney stone a few weeks ago. It was like opening the doors to the all you can eat buffet for addicts! I was able to justify my use for the first day or two, but once the pain subsided I consciously chose to continue using. Since then, I've started mixing the percs and vicodin or switch to Flexeril and Ativan. I know that mixing these meds together can be dangerous, but am not thinking safety...just euphoria. I'm so sick and tired of the manipulation, secrecy and compulsion to do whatever it takes to get high. I want to be straight out truthful with my wife, but can't stand the reality of disappointing her...again. I just can't get a bunch of days strung together in sobriety. I feel like such a hypocrite in AA, sitting and listening to other's stories with which I can relate to, but in the back of my mind planning on when I can get high again. The progression of drug abuse is only going to lead me further and further down a path I don't want to go down. I want to regain my own self respect and sanity before it is too late, but I feel extremely stuck in this viscious cycle. If anyone can relate or has some advice, please post. Thanks.
thank you so much for your response and prayers. I will being looking for any advise until the big CD week which will be may 10th so please keep coming with unfo. I'm glad to here that this amount 6 to 8 isn't so bad.I hope your right just from dropping real fast because I didn't know any better before I found all of you I got restless legs and felt generally lousy. before the vikes I have taken dorvecets for 15 yrs but only 1or2 a day could that be some of the reasons I feeling wd so fast?
Hi all - I've been a member of this board for almost a year now, but haven't posted much at all (especially lately) because unfortunately, I relapsed after almost 4 months clean last summer.
I just want to tell all of you who are withdrawing, or tapering, or trying to get clean that you're giving yourselves the best gift you can give. You are elminating those toxins from your system, you're on your way to becoming 'yourself' again, and that is priceless.
I have been feeling AWFUL lately because I did relapse and just never attempted to quit again. I'm quite frankly scared. I should be more scared to keep on taking the hydros (and now I'm also taking Valium - 1 mg. 3x daily) and Soma, but I've been taking these meds for about 2 years now and I've become too accustomed to functioning on this artificial mood that the drugs create.
I have to say, I am feeling increasingly sick -- I don't get high anymore no matter how much hydro I take it seems, so what I was taking before (9 Norcos a day) is now more like 6 daily. I am seriously depressed and I know that it's from the hydro. The other week I ran out of the hydro, and took codeine (Codeisan, no tylenol, just codeine) at a smaller dose and felt SO much better, although I know that's just as bad, but I think that the tylenol is really doing a number on my health. I've taken way too much tonight, and I don't feel better, I feel worse. So depressed -- about our financial situation because of the amount of money I spend on the Norco and other pills, and the fact that I need to constantly take pills to function.
I know DEEP inside that now is the time. I knew last year that it wasn't, but I went through the motions of tapering, getting clean and trying to act as if all was well when all I could think about was getting the pills. I can't believe I blew it and went back to taking them, because I could have had a year under my belt now if I had just toughed it out and stuck with the program.
I have 50 sublingual buprenorphine on the way to taper (plus the codeine and Ultram and hydro :( ) but I want to do this right this time. I have been thinking so much about how I enjoyed life before without the pills - everything looked so bright and colorful, now it's dull and gray. I don't want to go anywhere, I can't sleep until about 3:00 a.m. rolls around, and then I sleep until 12:30 or 1:00 in the afternoon (I work at home). I have 2 daughters, ages 12 & 13, and I get up in the morning with them but have to go back to bed or else I'll become ill with a cold (I guess I'm lowering my body's defenses and need a lot of sleep? I don't know..).
I just want to say to everyone here that I've been reading and am really touched by y'alls stories. You have an enormous amount of strength, and I'm feeling stronger about quitting because of all of you. I know I need to do this for myself and my family - I want my girls to have a Mom that can do everything with them instead of being a hermit.
I'm really glad I found this board last year, and I love to read the Doctor's answers to everyone's questions. Very enlightening. Kudos to everyone for having what it takes to get yourselves out of this hole - I want to be there REAL soon.
I just want to tell all of you who are withdrawing, or tapering, or trying to get clean that you're giving yourselves the best gift you can give. You are elminating those toxins from your system, you're on your way to becoming 'yourself' again, and that is priceless.
I have been feeling AWFUL lately because I did relapse and just never attempted to quit again. I'm quite frankly scared. I should be more scared to keep on taking the hydros (and now I'm also taking Valium - 1 mg. 3x daily) and Soma, but I've been taking these meds for about 2 years now and I've become too accustomed to functioning on this artificial mood that the drugs create.
I have to say, I am feeling increasingly sick -- I don't get high anymore no matter how much hydro I take it seems, so what I was taking before (9 Norcos a day) is now more like 6 daily. I am seriously depressed and I know that it's from the hydro. The other week I ran out of the hydro, and took codeine (Codeisan, no tylenol, just codeine) at a smaller dose and felt SO much better, although I know that's just as bad, but I think that the tylenol is really doing a number on my health. I've taken way too much tonight, and I don't feel better, I feel worse. So depressed -- about our financial situation because of the amount of money I spend on the Norco and other pills, and the fact that I need to constantly take pills to function.
I know DEEP inside that now is the time. I knew last year that it wasn't, but I went through the motions of tapering, getting clean and trying to act as if all was well when all I could think about was getting the pills. I can't believe I blew it and went back to taking them, because I could have had a year under my belt now if I had just toughed it out and stuck with the program.
I have 50 sublingual buprenorphine on the way to taper (plus the codeine and Ultram and hydro :( ) but I want to do this right this time. I have been thinking so much about how I enjoyed life before without the pills - everything looked so bright and colorful, now it's dull and gray. I don't want to go anywhere, I can't sleep until about 3:00 a.m. rolls around, and then I sleep until 12:30 or 1:00 in the afternoon (I work at home). I have 2 daughters, ages 12 & 13, and I get up in the morning with them but have to go back to bed or else I'll become ill with a cold (I guess I'm lowering my body's defenses and need a lot of sleep? I don't know..).
I just want to say to everyone here that I've been reading and am really touched by y'alls stories. You have an enormous amount of strength, and I'm feeling stronger about quitting because of all of you. I know I need to do this for myself and my family - I want my girls to have a Mom that can do everything with them instead of being a hermit.
I'm really glad I found this board last year, and I love to read the Doctor's answers to everyone's questions. Very enlightening. Kudos to everyone for having what it takes to get yourselves out of this hole - I want to be there REAL soon.
Hey, I noticed you said you have some bup "on the way" to taper with. Did you get them from a local doctor or what? I am having a terrible time in Northern California trying to find a doctor who will rx the bup for w/d. Can a regular doctor prescribe bup if it's supposedly for pain instead of for withdrawl? How about that suboxone? Can that be prescribed by anyone, rather than just the special bup doctors? I am so desperately trying to find something other than methadone to taper with, I'm going nuts!!
CONGRATULATIONS! you've tamed the beast.
I can't wait to be where you are now!!!
i feel for you..w/d is the worst but it does have an end and nothing but comes comes of it! i was taking enough oxy to literally kill an elephant or two so i know what you're going through. as far as the restless legs and arms: ask your doc to prescribe klonopin (i'm sure he will as it's standard practice) and what i found worked better for the restlessness is 1000 mg. of calcium with Vitamin D, which aids the body in calcium absorption.
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