This is my first time on any forum asking a question, I've read tons of questions, comments, advice, etc. but I still don't know what to do.
I've been on vicodin or norco for the last year or so for stomach pain (maybe gallbladder) I have no insurance which is a huge problem. I'm a 23 year old female. My doctor still doesn't know the problem with the pain, but every time I eat, I get sick, sick to point where I can't do anything, it disrupts my life. I've gone to the ER and clinics, but now I'd have to start all over again, get back in the county hospital system to get a hydascan done which could take months. My doctor requested I get a hydascan done last time I asked for a refill and told me unless I get it done he wouldn't write me another. So now I have one month left, 60 pills and then I'll have nothing. I got my last 60 on the 12th of March and I'm down to 13 left, not enough to last me through the next refill. This has been a constant problem where I run out way too soon. I actually thought I was doing well this month, and I still feel I am, but the script he wrote doesn't work for me. I have to take a pill every time I eat so I take one to one in a half 3 times a day, sometimes 4. The script he wrote was for one twice a day. It seems like the doctor does this to me every time and he's not someone I feel like I can talk to, even just to ask if I can get enough to actually last me. I'm scared. I'm scared of running out, I'm scared of withdrawing, of being without, of the symptoms. I tried to do it once, but I felt so horrible I couldn't. I want to taper, I feel like I probably could. I took one today and felt the anxiety, the body aches, the lack of energy, I just took another. I know I can't cold turkey. I've heard people say it's mind over matter, but it really isn't for me. I'm too weak to come off of these and go through such terrible withdraws. I can't take off of work, I can't seek a detox program, I can't do anything because I have no insurance. I feel like if I go talk to my doctor and ask him to help me, he might, but since he told me he wouldn't prescribe anymore to me, I don't think he will. At this point, I'm thinking of going to another doctor, of asking for a script just so that I don't have to withdraw. I don't know what to do. I have medicines I heard help with withdraw (bentyl, xanax, neurontin) but I feel like that just defeats the purpose. I don't know what to do. Any help? Advice? Anything? I never thought I would be this far in, I never thought I would fall this far down. It scares me coming off too, the thought of not using them anymore. I know the pain won't go away, what will I do then? I know the energy the norco gives me won't be there anymore, I know the feeling I get will be gone, but I don't think I have any other options.
I know I haven't even stated much of a question here, but I needed to get all of this out, to put it all out there.
Thanks
Nicole