Pain meds vs Alcohol

[Hinkster]

Hello everyone,
I am prescribed 90 40mg oxys and 270 5mg roxicodones a month for
neuropathy. IT's been this way for a year. I've just about had
enough of these meds as I know they are killing me. I used to
drink alot of beer every day but since I've been on the meds I
have not drank as much as an ounce of beer. If I quit the meds
(I've got all the stuff from Thomas's recipe) I know I'll go
back to drinking. I'am torn up on which way to go. I quit smoking
14 months ago cold turkey so I do believe I can quit the meds,
although it will be tough with this habbit and the length I've
been on the meds. Does anyone have an idea which way I should go?
Also I too have been banned from the other web site. I did'nt do
anything wrong.
                       Thanks Tom

[OxyDout]

I never even got into the other website. I wish I had a straight forward answer but I don't.  First off, congrats, if you can quit smoking you can quit anything.  I would quit the meds first, but I would think you would have to stop both at the same time unless you can allow yourself to have a beer once in a while without over doing it, which I highly doubt anyone of us could do..........so I think you might need some guidance here, such as a doctor! AA, NA, one of them is probably going to be needed, but keep posting, we are all here for you, NO MATTER WHAT!!
GWH

[Hinkster]

Thanks gwh for the quick advice. Its good advice now I only hope
I can do it.
Tom

[skipper]

hinkster:

have you considered what you will do for pain control? your on
all that oxy for intractable pain. i'm on the same dosage of oxy
as you are. every 4-5 weeks i'll take a week off and detox my-
self. i do this to so find out where my pain levels are. if yow aregoing to detox yourself, just be careful not burn your bridges
back to oxy to quiickly. you may find your pain levels so high
that you will want to return to it.

hey every one else:

haven't had a lot of time to post since i got back from the gulf.
hope things slow down soon.

keep an angel on your shoulder
kip

[Hinkster]

Hi kip,
  Thanks for the advice. By reading these post for the last two
months before posting I've come to find out your a legend and a
great friend to have. I feel privledged to have you answer my
questions and feel I know you. As to what I'am going to do
about the pain I did'nt want to address that. Thats probably
why I can't quit the meds.I feel by being on the meds and not
drinking I'am keeping from maybe getting an oui or hurting some
one by driving. Again kip thanks for taking the time and answering my post. You are a fantastic person.
Tom

[Dawnslight]

Hi...
I first want to say how happy I am to have found this site!  It's been the very best source for me in the last week than I could have hoped for.

Regarding the drinking vs. meds.  I stopped my daily glass (or two) of wine cold turkey 1 yr ago Feb.  I began getting ill due to the fact I was also taking Lortab and Oxy everyday for chronic joint/back pain.  I thought I was "smart" enough to cut out the alcohol so I would be "kind" to my liver.  Have a 13 yr old daughter.  Didn't want to give her a bad message on drinking by her watching me.  (Plus I smoke).  So I felt stopping the drinking would be the best thing and didn't make me a hypacrite.  You know "child...just say no, but watch mommy".  Except for the cigs...and that was always..."when the stress is gone, I'll quit).

Well...now I'm sitting at my computer w/chills, diarreah and the jitters.  I was up to 20 10/500mg Lortab per day (ten at a time) and 3 20mg Oxys.  The lortab wasn't giving me the pain relief it used too nor was I feeling "good" anymore.  I get a script of 160 lortabs and 94 oxy's a month.

Last week, I decided to tell my parents, my daughter (she was the hardest as she thinks I'm superwoman who can do no wrong), my soon to be ex-husband and my first hubby that I have a problem with my meds.

Each of them expressed how proud they where of me for coming "clean" with this issue and offered to help in any way.  So...my daughter is at my moms for the week.  So she won't see me go thru withdrawl.  My soon to be ex is staying w/me at night in the event of a medical prob.  My dad is telling me (for the first time in my 38 years) that he's never been more proud, as is my ex who is a minister offering lots of prayer for me.

I thought after talking to rehabs, I would try detox here at home for the next 8 days on my own.  My plan was/is...to quit cold turkey my lortab and just take the 3 oxys I'm allowed to have.  I counted out my oxys, gave the bottle to my hubby.  He hid it at his office from me.  And I have no more lortabs.  I have ambien for insommnia.  I bought the stuff for the Thomas receipe, less the valium, xanax and such.  

Well, Sunday was my last day on Lortab. Yesterday, I took more oxy's than I should have due to the wd symptoms late in the day and here today (Tues).  It's 3:00, and I've not had anything so far.  I just figured, I would attempt to discontinue the oxys too.  I'd like to see where my real pain level is.  So far, the only thing that hurts are my knees and shoulders.  It's been storming here for two days.  When the humidity is high...I ache!

My heart-rate is escalating, and I don't have the desire to do a damm thing.  I let my house go last week, hoping I would be so fidgity that I'd clean top to bottom while detoxing.  Maybe I'll call a maid instead.

I bought $200 in food for myself w/lots of sweets yesterday.  I've been craving them for months now.  I think it's from the meds.  I never used to eat sweets.  Weird.

Sooo....if you will all say a prayer that this works for me, I'll certainly do the same for all of you that are trying to quit this pathetic habit we got wrapped up in.  

This habit has cost me my marriage, my business, my heatlh.  I thought of suing the drug manufactures, but I don't have the strength or desire anymore.  I think it's my personality, pain and background that helped turn me into an addict.  Now, I think I'm going to write a book.  As long as I can get thru this week, so the book would have a happy ending.

Spring is this week.  A time for new beginnings.  The spirit of God is telling me now was the time to stop killing myself.  I know I can't fail at this or I'll wind up like M. Monroe and all the others that couldn't stop.

It's not that I have a whole hell of a lot of self worth/love.  It's my beautiful daugther that's keeping me from hurting myself anymore.  I want to see her graduate, marry, become an MD, and be a grandmother.

It's ironic.  I'm in the skin care industry.  People come to me to cheat time and look younger.  These pills, my smoking...has aged me soooo much more than they can imagine.  And I take their money to look good and spend it on my "happy pills".  All while I have a puffy face, dark circles, went from size 4 to 0.  Am 5'5 and 108#. I'm always lying to the girls at the shop and stating it's the stress of my divorce that's keeping me up nites, thus the way I look.  

Sorry for rambling...it's got to be the jitters I'm going through.  To comment on this thread...there's nothing to ask yourself "hinkster".  We can not drink or take these meds in moderation.  My only option, and I hope you choose it too...is sobriety.

As far as my pain management...time to find other alternatives.  I don't mean to sound like I have the answers either.  I just have to stay in a certian mind set.  I have two scripts of Lortab at the pharmacy right now calling me in the back of my mind,  And a full liquor cabinet.

If I get too weak...I'll call the rehab.

Thanks for taking the time to read everyone.  I'll be on this site all weak looking for strength.

Hugs and Peace to you all. :)

[GOD]

God bless you and give you strength on this *the hardest* part of your journey to sobriety. I know how you feel... It is the hardest thing in the world that I've ever done. I don't know how I'm getting through it other than the fact that i've been repeating this prayer at least 10 times a day:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

I know that's from AA, but it works for me.

My prayers are with you.
May yours be with me.

Love and serenity to you--
Jess

[bronzeback75]

Hey guys its me bronze I just want to say that I can finally see some light I am now 20 days clean from the torture of oxycontin, I still am having trouble sleeping but my  panic attacks, and knot in my stomach are gone ,I still have no energy but make myself excercise  daily my pain level is really high but sobriety is a far better trade off If you think hard enough you can almost cancel out the pain. Acupuncture has also worked wonders for me as far as the 5htp the kid  at gnc didnt no what it was what section was it in the amino acids?  I just want to say be strong stay away from the  pharmacy you can make it through this  god bless guys ang gals

[Ramona666]

      I hope I did this right. First time caller long time listener....
     I can't spell either so this should be some fun communication!
We have soooo much in common it's scary. You are probably craving the sweets because you aren't drinking(or not drinking as much) Your body processes alcohol like its sugar. So, when your are drinking your body is thinking "Ah, a plentiful amount of sweets are here today!" When the drinking slows down or ceases all together your body says "Where are all the sweets, we seem to have run out, must get some now!"
    Drinking will ruin your life, only if you let. But before it ruins you, it will most certainly take your family first, killing them softly while you sip away. Children have instincts as well as parents. They want to love you unconditionaly. THey want to welcome you with open arms regardless of your crimes. THey want to trust you completly. Drinking will interfer with the relationship you have with sober people, especially the children. She will lose her mother altogether if her mother doesn't kick this thing in the ass! But I have NO DOUBTS that you indeed will stomp the hell out of your addiction. Some people have the personality for addiction. You probably enjoy feeling different "lighter" for a bit. It relaxes you, your stress fades away.
       You might benefit from antidepressants, then again you might not. The pills help the pain and also provide the "lift" you require. Pills are a funny thing. They are capable of providing so much relief but they can also trick you into feeling better than you should. Taper off the pills. Don't quit all at once. I speak from personal experience here. Quiting cold turkey puts an enormous amount of pressure on you to quit, quit now and quit right. Plus, have you thought about what you are going to do about your pain, which is real and is a natural part of life. If you can't take those particular pills then what are you going to take? If you suffer on with pain it will make it more difficult to detox.
    I'm on methadone and I wish like hell I had never touched the stuff. I have lots to tell you but very little time left. I hope to hear from you very very soon.You need more support in order to make it. But I have the feeling you will prevail no matter what!  I will keep checking.
***@****                      RAMONA666

[skipper]

tom:
thankyou for the complements...but really i'm just another junky.
what i mean to say is we all come as equals, and we remain equals. drugs and pain...i never gave any consideration as to what i was going to do if i really neeeded narcotic pain relief. quite a deal we got ours selves into. i hope some of the advice posted to you will prove useful. keep us posted, ok



Dawnslight:
welcome to the forum! there will always be room for just one more
addict posting to this forum. that new begining sounded good to me. best of luck with taperin down and quitting. like i told hinkster,keep us posted as to how and what your doing.

Bronzeback:
20 days, that's really great. i wodered what happened to you. i am really glad to hear that you've come 20 days. that's a long way!!

hey everyone  , keep an angel on your shoulder
kip

[alchemist]

I haven't posted here since last year but my pain has crept back (from the last ablation)and I am now taking 4 narco and 2x 15 mg ms contin daily for pain from a car accident.  I've noticed lately that my sex drive has dwindled to almost nothing, I know this is due to the meds since I got it all back (and then some) when I got off my meds last year.  My question is, is there anything that can be done about this other than giveing up my meds and putting up with the pain?

Thanks to all for your help

[Nod]

Welcome all you new folks. The more the stronger!  I have been where you all are but proud to say I'm almost clean.  Down from 20 - 7.5s to just 4 a day now.  It took a month so far and has sucked.  But still better than cold turkey for me.  Have 3-4 more weeks on my tapper then the work really starts.  That is where I always fail in the past. But, I'm gonna do it this time.  Have already fessed up to my wife, tomorrow go to my doctor and spill my guts to him.  No more secrets.  Tom, dawnslight and bronzeback... welcome.

Schlub - today was your first day off the Burpenex.. how you feeling?  Hanging there buddy, you've come a long way, your almost there.  Keep me posted.  
Nod (soon not to be nod-ing)

[Hinkster]

Alchemist,
  Yes there is something you can do for your sex drive. I too
had the same problem as you can read from my scripts. I go to
a pain management clinic once a month for my meds. They took a
test and found out my Testosterone (spelling) level was way down.
They have me come in every two weeks for a shot. Bring your own
medicine from a script you got from them. They told me it would
take about two or three shots and I should be back to my old self. I can't wait. I'll let you know as I,ve only had one shot so far. I think I feel some difference already.
Tom

[Schlub]

Two days since I quit the Bup, Nod. Milder than expected depression and lethargy, and I don't have to hide it from my wife.

Remember? It's our secrets that kill us.

Day 15 now since my last narcotic haze.

[singer]

i have benn on this forum only a few times. i realy think its great the way everyone pulls for each other. i am hooked on vics es 12 a day post surgery. i cant believe the way watsons took over. i dont know what the thomsans recipe is but if it is a way to help kick this please inform. you are all angels and i pray for all. the singer.

[1fortheroad]

i can relate so much to your post - we don't have exactly the same addiction, but the feelings are so incredibly similar.  i feel that way a lot of times when i'm here...i guess that is why i keep coming back.  addiction is lonely, and when i come here, i never feel alone.  i KNOW there is so much understanding and compassion here.  people here don't just say "i know how you feel" - they really DO know, and i find great comfort in that.

i am at the point where i am trying desperately to find a dr. willing to prescribe buprenex for me to do an out-patient detox.  NO ONE will do it for me.  i have no trouble getting oxy, hydro, percs or whatever, but when i mention buprenex...the answer is always the same.  clonodine is readily available to me as well, but i've tried it and it does nothing to help me.

i really want to quit, but i need help and it just isn't there for me - i feel hopeless right now...

[Dawnslight]

You didn't mention what your addicted too.  And being new to admitting of such myself, makes it difficult for me to offer any help to you as to where to get Buprenex from.  I don't understand why a detox center wouldn't put you on it unless you have to be an in-patient to get it.  If that's the case, then given the fact you wrote that your getting/feeling hopeless.  That may be exactly where you need to be right now.  

There's really no other alternative to our conditions but to get help and to get clean.  But this I do know...one MUST want to be free of addiction for it to be successful.  It's taken me over 13 years and a trip to hell to learn this. Please find the help your asking this board for.  Good luck to you.  You're in my prayers.  :}

[1fortheroad]

thanks for your feedback.  i am addicted to oxy, hydrocodone, and percs.  i take whatever i can get my hands on.  i am thru with it tho, i cannot and will not be a slave to these pills.  i cannot believe i have ended up this way...two years ago i never would have imagined being in the place i am now.  i have been thru cold-turkey withdrawal too many times to count, and the thought of doing it again is just unbearable to me.

we are taking our daughter to disneyworld in a few weeks, and i cannot fathom going thru withdrawal while there...can you imagine anything worse?  oh god - i cannot go inpatient again right now...if i could just find a good outpatient program, i'd be so thankful.  

thank you for your prayers...i pray for your as well.  i love this forum - such a wonderful group of caring people.

[Ketta]

I'm praying for you. You're always so kind to folks here.
On the bup, I think folks mentioned a reputable online gig, healthpharma.com ? check another thread. These were sublingual tabs vs. the shot, but there were reports of effectiveness. This would ensure out-patient, and no hassle. Ketta

[The Golden Slipper]

hello out there,

Here we go again....I call myself the "Golden Slipper" because I am a prescription drug addict who abuses a drug called "fiorinal"  It is a common drug used for migraine/tension headaches.  I have been in recovery several times over the years and have managed to put together 2 whole years at one time.

However...hence my name "Golden Slipper" I keep having slips.  I like the way I feel when I take this drug.  I have no desire to take anything stronger (Oxycodone etc.,) but that's beside the point.  I need to get off of these pills and back into recovery.  Addiction is so irrational and I always considered myself a rational person with regard to other matters.  This thing just throws me for a loop.  I have absolutely no control over it once it takes over.

I keep getting prescriptions and running out and getting more prescriptions.  Sometimes I am amazed at how easily I can get the prescriptions.  I am now taking about 6 fiorinal a day and want to try to taper myself off.  (Easier said than done!!)

I am married (5 years) and my husband is very aware of my addiction.  Although he does not know about my latest slip.  As usual I feel extremely guilty.  We are hoping to adopt a child and right now I don't feel I would make a very good parent.

I feel for everyone out there and can admit that I am "An addict" however, I need to come clean.  It is so difficult!!  I would love to hear back from anybody out there.  Is there anyone who has been hooked on fiorinal.

I'm sure I can't be the only one.

[OxyDout]

Is Fiorinol the little pill with 3 heads on it?????? you know, the outlined profile on the pill..........

[Ketta]

Fiorinal is also fiorocet, and yeah, has the heads on it.

Golden Slipper, are you doctor hopping? I ask because it's illegal as you may have read. I was doc. hopping and got caught. I didn't have any prosecution, but others have. I was simply embarassed and now been "flagged"/?  I tell you this because it can inhibit your adoption efforts. You may have read I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer- long story, but adoption is something we're considering as well. I've been clean for 15 days, I like hydro and tend to get carried away. I've taken fiorinal but never took it up "professionally".. a little humor. Addiction is the same if it's controlled and addictive so don't worry too much in the difference of pill. We're all here to help. This could be considered a substance abuse problem officially by the background check for adoption. How far along are you in the adoption. We can help with detox, and support, etc. but if you've got a chance to adopt use that as serious motivation. I'd be happy to chat with you in email. Mine is listed on another thread, you can give me yours in a post if you prefer. Ketta.

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

The way I understood it, Hinkster wanted to know which way to go.  It sounded like if he went off of opiates, he would go back to alcohol.  Well flip a coin Hinkster.  If you really need pain meds for neuropathy it's a different story.  I, too, am in pain management for PN and a few things related to hep C and arthritis.  I went the full spectrum with narcotic meds in about three year's time, myself.  Lortab to MS Contin.  

Or you can drink alcohol if your body will let you. Even with severe liver problems, I could probably drink anyone here under the table and not even suffer a hangover! We drunks like to brag a little, don't we?  Anyways, I'm told that my PN has been caused by excessive alcohol use and yes it is very painful.

I think that in your heart of hearts, you know the answer to your question.  You just needed to use us a a sounding board because we give a damn....right?  You are on the right track, my friend.

J.B.

[Dawnslight]

Hi everyone...my earlier thread said I would be on line all week detoxing form lortab & oxy at home cold turkey.  I did find a script of Klonopin I forgot I had and began the Thomas receipe and FYI...

It's been since Sunday w/out lortab (20 a day) and since Monday w/out oxy (3per day).  Yesterday, I was in the restroom all morn.  But the Immodium helped 100%.  I felt some energy w/the L-Tyro, B6 and such, but really haven't gotten off my brand new sofa that's getting ruined from my fanny sagging the cushions.

Last night I thought 1 Ambien would help me sleep.  HA!  I wound up taking 3 and still was awake at 1, 2 & 3am.  At 5am, I walked the house, found the Klonopin, took it and fell asleep till 10am today.  But I'm a total zombie.  And crying at the drop of a hat.

I have a chronic pain issue.  But I want to see where my real pain is, thus stopping all meds.  If it wern't for my damm knees throbbing to the point of visualizing taking a hammer to my caps, I would be doing pretty well, actually.  (Except for lack of sleep).  Originally, I was just going to stop the Lortab.  That's the one I'm getting carried away with.

I almost took my oxys just now, but called my 13 yr old at my moms.  (Kept her away so she wouldn't see me going thru this), and hearing her little voice, gave me the motavation to stay off all meds for at least one more day.  (She too has a back issue & wears a brace, so she understands chronic pain & meds).

I'm wearing three layers of robes, but I'm freezing yet clammy.  My eyes are sunk and have brown circles.  I have to remind myself to eat.  I choke on the Thomas diet pills.  (Must be a mental thing w/pills).  

But, I'm still willing to try, 'cause I'm beginning to feel/see the light at the end of this tunnel of hell.  I actually have moments of feeling free and being proud of myself.  But then again, I start crying for being here in the first place, and wasting a beautiful Texas sunny day in my living room.  Not to mention, I'm not at work, so I'm loosing money.

If no one is interested in how my home detox is going...please don't hesitate to tell me.  You're just the only group I can talk too without loosing all emotions and worrying my family if I called and spoke to them in tears.

My prayers are with you all...please keep a prayer for me too!

Hugs to all...:)

[Ketta]

What's your email address? I'd be happy to correspond with you. What you're doing is amazing, and you're not alone. Ketta.