Painkillers in the house

[AlessandrasMom]

I know there are a few on here who have quit and has somebody else in the house who are still taking painkillers because they need to.  How do you do it, do you make that person just keep the pills outside the house, or what?
My husband just went to pain management and has a fresh supply.  This time I feel a lot of pressure.  I don't think this can continue.  He hides them and this has worked well before, but I know if I just asked, pressured, screamed at him to give me one, he would and I don't want to do that.  I'm feeling my resolve weaken, I'm shaking and don't know how to do this.

[grace10]

A little treatment trick is when your gripping to think it all the way thru the using then the after affects, ie  the w/d, the disappointment, guilt, etc.  All the way to the point that got you to quit in the first place. Worked for me for along time when I got clean before.  Just a thought.

[GoingToMakeIt]

I never said to eat the whole thing! Lmao I keep a chunk of 70% cocoa around for when I need it. I only eat a chunk or two.

[mr.lucky66]

We should feel sleezy when we steal someone's drugs. Sure, I know many of you will say we have a disease and can't help it, I say maybe we have a disease or addiction but we should take responsibility for our actions. This way of looking at it may seem harsh but it's working for me. all best

[AlessandrasMom]

You wouldn't believe this, but yesterday I was at home with my daughter, she was ill, and I had to run to Walgreen's to get some dryer sheets.  Well I stopped by the candy aisle and remembered your icon thing and what you always say about dark chocolate and I picked up some.  Ate it last night.  So now I'm too fat to do push-ups.....
What a test that was - I'd like to think I'm doing better now.  I know I'm doing better now.  Just a hurdle, thanks for everyone talking to me on that one.

[GoingToMakeIt]

You will have these tests all the time. The more you say no the stronger you will become. Drop down and do 10 push ups. :) Eat some dark chocolate. (yes really) It saved me many a time and I am not a huge fan of chocolate.

[AlessandrasMom]

GTMI - I thought I had that state of mind, thought I still had it up until 1 hour ago.  I don't get it, does everybody who quits have this happen once, twice - none at all??  Are these tests, triggers, I guess I'm just trying to figure out what happened here.

[GoingToMakeIt]

I have to agree with the state of mind. I made a decision to never use again. It was irrevocable. True if they are in the house it is easier, but really, if you wanted to you could get them elsewhere. So decide that even at home it is not an option.

[AlessandrasMom]

thank you thank you everybody, I can't believe how bad I just freaked out.
Sunnyone, Kim, Worried, everybody thank you.  I don't know what did it this time.  I know I'm going to have to deal with it, whether they are in the house or at the next door neighbor's, uggg.  Usually I just don't want to know about his appointments, but his car is in the shop and we carpooled and he had to go to the doctor.  Now he is coming to pick me up, with them, the pills.  I've never had that feeling before - it shot to my brain, instant headache, shakes real bad, I felt like I couldn't breathe.  It's better, a littel beytter.

[AlessandrasMom]

mrlucky, I'm still having guilt attacks from when I stole a couple from my Dad a year ago.  I do see what you are saying.  It's just never been easy for me to get pills.  I go to the doctor, he says, here is Motrin.  I look in somebody's medicine cabinet, all I find is Viagra.  I still feel sleezy for snooping like that.
Worried, thank you.  I'm starting to shake less, I am taking deep breaths.  I will have to talk to him tonight.  I can't let these back in the house.

[kim715]

I just dealt with this the other day.My husband had dental work done and even though I asked him to keep the vicodin out of sight he forgot them on his nightstand in the morning and I woke up to them staring me right in the face. I grabbed them and gave them to my son to put in his lockbox,but when my husband got home we made a new rule not to have painmeds in the house. At least not any time soon.My husband locked his in his car,which I don't have a key to and he has a numerical code to his alarm which I am no longer allowed to know.You and your husband have to dig deep for strength right now.I found once I knew that they weren't in the house I felt more confident.I'm just not ready to deal with all that.I see a painmed and I run like h***.I'm just to scared to even be near them.Stay strong and keep posting.Peace.

[AlessandrasMom]

That last one was to Puranx - thanks for your feedback and stuff I wrote.
Jenny - I have thought about you and wondered where you have been!!  And you are probably saying, ok, who the heck is this, but I followed your story.  I'm so happy for you.  I'm babbling and trying to stay sane right now and I'm sorry if I'm not making sense.
He does take them for legitimate reasons, he needs knee replacement, back surgery.  No, he doesn't talk about quitting.  

[worried878]

I know that would be hard...so close to you and especially  this soon after quitting...but i guess we can all get them...my next door neighbor has some...i know where i can buy some anytime i want..but having them so close is harder...i do not want them in my cabinet for sure...tell him that if he loves you...really loves you...the worst thing he can do is ever give in and give u even 1 pill....sounds easier said than done i know...tough situation i know

[mr.lucky66]

It's hard but this could be a way to get over it. Those of us who are cursed with this obsession for opiates will take them from whoever has them. Someone in your family is dying of a terminal disease, you steal some of their pills. But if the drugs are there and propery hidden and you never see them, then after a while you may not be fixated on them. Just tell yourself it's sleezy to steal pills. It may sound harsh but it's the truth.

[AlessandrasMom]

I guess I have to get my resolve back, trying to do that by getting some insight on here.  I haven't had a problem till now, never batted an eyelash, never thought about them, haven't since February.  And all of a sudden I'm shaking so bad and it almost feels like my legs are hurting and it's probably mental but I'm just so shaken by this right now.  I really appreciate your feedback.

[jenny8575309]

Ugh!, your in a tough spot there.  Does he have legitimate pain problems?  I don't know how you do it.  I quit before my bf, and it worked until he got messed up on somas and started stuttering around me.  I was infuriated, How DARE he act that way in front of my children?  What a hipocrit I was because I was acting the same way only weeks before that.  Our reletionship didn't make it, but as far as I know he is clean today and so am I.  Has he talked about quitting at all?  I'm sorry that you ladies have to deal with that, but who knows it just may make you stronger having to avoid temptaion daily, constantly. My hats off to you, and nothing is impossible.

[AlessandrasMom]

I get what you are saying chubbers.  I am shaking so bad right now and this hasn't happened before.  I'm trying to find a trigger, something, and I can't seem to think.  All I can think about is those pills again for some reason.  I just don't know if this is going to work, him taking them, me not.  oh no  I'm not making sense.
I want to say to you keep going - day 8, right?  You go girl, I'm cheering for ya!

[puranx]

yes my brothers and father all have legit pain scripts. Huge doses too and will give it to me at will if i want. I told them no matter what i do or say they cant, they will kill me. That worked, although i never asked since the day i quit...i could care less about em to be honest. Its a state of mind. I remind myself of the near death hell i just went through and thats more then enough to stop me.

[chubbers]

hi there i am in the exact same position you are in, my husband still needs them and hads a huge supply and i know if i ask he will give me some. you need to tell ur husband to get a lock box and lock the pills in it and hide the key  or maybe keep them at his parent shouse or a trusted friends house that lives nearby so that there wont be a lot in the house. tell him if you dont get a lock box to maybe just keep his daily dose for that day in the house and if he has someone he can trust nearby to keep them there and then just re up when he needs to so there wont be a large quintiy there  thast what i do and it has worked out ok but its still hard. you just have to keep telling yourself you dont want to go back to pills bc the withdrawal will be even harder next time specking from experience