Percocet Withdrawals

[Stupid172]

Hey all! I'm a 24 year old female who has been on percocets off and on for about 2 years. More on than off. I've only been able to stop twice. The first time I went through withdrawals, was tough for 2 days then the 3rd day was significantly better. At that time though I was only taking about 3-4 Perks a day.  Stupidly, I started back on them again a few months later and  have been on them for about 9 months. To where I stopped again. But this time, instead of only taking 3-4/day, I was taking upwards of 7-9/day. Perks/10s. When I made the decision to again go through the withdrawals, I only made it to day 2 and couldn't handle it and starting using again. I have now AGAIN chose to stop and am currently going through withdrawals. I'm now on Day 4, I feel ok, I believe most of the tough withdrawal symptoms are gone, the only ones I feel now are loss of energy, I can't sleep well at night without the aid of sleeping pills or xanax, but I just feel plain out tired and EXTREMELY depressed. I start crying at the drop of the hat. I am a single mother of 2 little girls and I'm all they have. No one in my life knows what I'm going through and I'm a little scared. How much longer will this last? The depression? The cravings for just wanting to go out there and just get ONE more? If I were to give in and go get the ONE would it set me back and start this grueling process over again? I just want to be done with these, but I'm afraid of relapsing. Please, any advice or encouragement would be greatly appreciated.

[Stupid172]

Ok, well the first part of the day is now over, and I did ok...not well but ok. I caught myself dozing off a little while standing still! Weird..never done that before! So I just drank a cup of coffee..got a nice rush of energy and continued trudging along! Now comes the hard part...the next 7 hours. I'm trying to mentally prepare a game plan...if I can get my stuff done early enough in the day, I may be able to just leave as soon as I'm finished. The manager I'm working with tonight, has proven to be really helpful lately. Although we have so many conflicts, she does try!  I know once this day is over, the next few are well, a walk in the park! I know I won't have to work another day like this until next week, and I'm excited! I know by this time next week, I'll be GREAT! Just a few more days, and I'll be fine! What a great feeling, what a great thing the mind is when you set out to accomplish something, I will say today, I had NO desires to do a pill. NONE! Amazing! I think from what I've put my body and mind through in the last few days was all I needed to NEVER think of these evil things again! I'm also trying to FULLY begin my walk in the Truth, but swayed here and there knowing what I was doing was wrong and disgraceful in His eyes. It's over now, I made the decision to dedicate my life, and I'm NEVER looking back!

[Stupid172]

I don't know where to begin. Last night I got home at about 1:30am. Got my girls to bed(as for some reason when I picked them up, although they were asleep at the sitters, the second they got in the car, it was like they hadn't seen me in years!)  I got on and posted how my day and evening at work went. Well, I took a couple of Tylenol PM's to try and go to sleep, but COULD NOT go to sleep! I believe it's from all the coffee and energy drinks I loaded into my body during my day at work. I had to get up at 7am to get my daughter ready for school, but wasn't able to get to sleep. My arms were restless, similar, well almost exactly like the restless legs I experienced during withdrawals. They just felt like I couldn't stretch them enough! So I was tossing and turning, hour after hour went by. The last time I looked the clock it was around 5am. WOW! I had to get up in 2 HOURS! I started crying(partly due to the depression) and wondering now, how in the heck am I going to make it through the day? After I was finally able to fall asleep, around 5, I kept waking up every 20 minutes or so. I got up, took my daughter to school, came home around 8, and tried to lay back down and get a little more rest before having to leave my house around 10. I dressed my younger daughter at the same time I dressed my older daughter for school, and also put my work uniform on, so when 9:45 hit, I would just have to brush my teeth, put my shoes on and walk out the door. Well...that obviously didn't happen. I again wasn't able to go back to sleep. So I got up, played and laid around with my youngest daughter while she watched TV, silently praying that I would be able to get a cat nap in today. I again, have to work a long double shift today. I almost started to panic because I don't think I could it on 2 hours of sleep. Especially during this time in my recovery. I may have gotten a little of my energy back, but from lack of sleep, I didn't feel it. I'm dreading working this day today, I did not think of calling out weird enough, but I'm mentally and physically trying to prepare myself for the grueling and long day ahead. The only good thing about this is I won't have to work another long day like this again for at least 4 days. Tomorrow being the easiest( I only have to work 3 hours.) I see that as a reward for toughing it out and surviving these long shifts. I KNOW I can work these shifts without the perks, I've been doing this for years. I KNOW my body can handle it, but I feel I may be putting a little too much strain on my body this early in recovery. Last night was horrendous, I feel tonight is going to drag on and feel the same way. I usually put in great effort and ALWAYS have quality work, but last night I cut corners, I didn't do some things I would have normally done, overall it just wasn't same quality work that I ALWAYS do. At my job, I'm known for my cleaning abilities, for being able to go above and beyond what's expected of me, I have so many responsibilities and am always expected to work a certain way. When I started that job, I wasn't on the perks, and my standards were even higher then, when I got back on them, I still had quality work, but it wasn't to the full potential that I know I have. I just wanted to get off and go home, and watch TV or work online while on them. It was ALL I looked forward to. I know tonight, I may not have the quality work, but I also know, I have to let my body get re-accustomed to being on my feet for those long hours, being to work and still be able to go above and beyond my own standards. Thank goodness like I mentioned earlier I won't have to do these hours again for at least a few more days, I'm almost positive, the next time around, I will be fully recovered and will not be dreading going to work. I love my job, believe it or not, and always like to perform as so.
To worried, BELIEVE ME I WILL NOT TAKE ANOTHER ONE OF THESE PILLS EVER! Sure the desire is there, and it's even stronger today knowing I'm going to be doing this on such few hours of sleep, but I'M the one who did to myself, and the way I see it, I'M the one that needs to tough it out and DEAL with it!  It was all brought on by none other than MYSELF! And to let myself experience the horrible withdrawals, the after effects(loss of energy, performance at my job) IS NOT HAPPENING!  I WILL NEVER DO THIS TO MYSELF AGAIN! I did it before, but at the time I was unemployed and was able to stay home. My boyfriend was able to support me. Now that he's not here, I'm the one that has to care for my children on my own, so I HAVE to go to work. Missing work is just not an option. Thank you for your concerns though. They do mean alot to me. Especially at this crucial time!
Ok, well now it's off to work, I'll be on later to post how my day went! Thank you all!

[worried878]

and u r not STUPID...u r an addict who is trying to help urself..I think that is pretty dern smart myself

[worried878]

24 is sovery very young...and as u have discovered..this dont get no better!...excuse my grammar but just know it does NOT!   everytime we relapse it is worse..the habit get bigger and bigger due to receptor sites we build during heavy use

right now u r in the mental aftermath..the part that causes most relapses..cos it sux major hotdogs!  feeling like u have no life cos u feel like a human body made outta concrete is just not what users like to feel ..not at all...we escape//we like to feel "great" all the time..so this time is very hard for an addict..very hard

for me it almost did me in...and i didnt c it coming either..i thought i would like go into seizures, writhe around on the floor vomiting and none of that happened during my physicaL ordeal...then this doomer part hit me...and i was flabber-gasted

I re-read the thomas recipe//upped my doses to the recommended amt of aminos...and found tyrosine to be my nrg source..i got my gym cloths on//got off the couch//and MOVED..and I survived...learn all u can bout where u r at...understanding WHY u feel like u feel can help u pull thru..aftercare is so very crucial for u right now..the health pages have so much good info...go there and learn

and keep posting

[Stupid172]

WOW! It's so great and encouraging to come home and read these posts! I just got home from picking my girls up from the sitter, and let me tell you, I DIDN'T THINK THIS NIGHT WOULD END! I guess that "great" feeling I was having earlier, was due to it only being the first 4 hours of my shift. When I came back to work the 2nd time around ( I have to work split shifts during the week so I can pick my daughter up from school) the first 2-4 hours were bearable, I didn't have much energy though, but was able to get by OK. The last 3-4 hours were HELL! Time dragged on like it was it's job, and moving my legs just wasn't happening. I think I drank more coffee, and energy drinks than I have in my entire life. I tried that 5 hour energy drink for the first time, only took half, felt the "buzz" but no energy weird enough. Coffee actually did the trick, but it didn't help my legs feel any less tired. I remember I used to take a perk while I worked a long shift like this and I was SUPERWOMAN! Moved faster than a speeding bullet(or so I thought haha) actually I would take more than 1 perk, but either way, I couldn't work a long shift without one or two or three. Today blowed tremendously, tomorrow I'm in for another long shift. I work 3 hours in the day, get off to pick my daughter up, and back for another closing shift. I have to get up in 5 hours to get my daughter to school, and I'm just not that tired, well tired enough to go to sleep. My body is exhausted, but it won't let me sleep. I'm considering taking a Tylenol PM, but I'm a little nervous I won't hear the alarm clock in a few hours. My boss thinks I can handle these shifts, and let me tell you, on perks, you can handle almost anything. I remember, before I started taking them, I was able to do it, but now, it just seems like I can't. Maybe I'm expecting too much for my Day 5? As far as taking just ONE, yes I will admit, I crave it, want it, desire it, but when I tried to get something done tonight at work, and my legs wouldn't comply, I remembered why I WON'T! Thank you to all who have left me those encouraging words! It is because of YOU I'm able to get through this on my own.

[tooklastdose]

Your doing great.  I'm so happy that work went well and your next shift should be just as good.   I'm not sure of the relationship between you and your boss, but I would hesitate to tell him.   (Just my opinion)  I want people to know the clean me.   People do judge out there in the world.   Just think about it before telling your boss or at least see if others can share their opinions.
Any other opinions???