HEROIN AND THE AFTERMATH

[stilltrying1965]

Well a thought it was a case of doing the cold turkey and some recovery and we would be fine how wrong i was.I have started to stay in my room and wont leave the house scared of meeting some old faces witch a no cant be good for me.A will not lose my clean time we fought so hard to get here and want to keep moving foward but cant live the rest of my life lie this.Did anyone else get these feelings of fear of losing there clean time.Am finding it difficult to understand as Kim seems to be a lot stronger than i am witch i thought i would have to be the strong one.But these last couple of weeks i have found life after HEROIN  is very hard and very difficult to understand  is this normal for people in recovery  to feel likethis.Sometimes i feel like a prisoner to the after affects of HEROIN  can anybody help me with this James

[stilltrying1965]

Well am of to book my flight lol James!!!

[dominosarah]

Well off i go to the street to dance in just my nail polish!!!!!!!!!  LOL

[stilltrying1965]

We sure can Sara lol. I feel a lot better today. I cleared my mind a bit and started positive thinking, and ill start as i mean to go on, thank you all  James  

[dominosarah]

Now thats the spirit!!!  So we can start happy dancing again??!!!       sara

[stilltrying1965]

Thanks for all your support it does help a lot. I actually feel a bit better today, better  than i have  felt most of the last week.I took the dog out and had a good think about the positive things, 167 is positive so i am looking at i from there thinking if i can do that i can do anything. I am also listening to kim as she now says she refuses to be emotionally blackmailed by anyone .or anything, she made a mistake and is paying for it but refuses to let her life be ruined by guilt and is leaving it behind with the H. You cant get more positive than 167 days so that is what im going to do. As Gizzy says iv got alot more positive things to think about lol. So from today im going to try my hardest to be positive and put more effort into the positive side.Again thank you my friends for your support, im so glad we all have each other to help get over our own personal hurdles that some of us struggle with. James

[dominosarah]

An idle mind is the devils playground......You gotta get up and get moving James.  As Corey said being a prisoner right now is not going to do you any good at all.  Depression is very real and very hard on us but you have got to do something about it.  Each one of us is different in our recovery.  You mention alot that Kim is the strong one right now.  I am very happy that she is......it doesnt mean you are less of a man and you seem to struggle with that.  You are strong and you have come from the burning inferno of he!!.  Gather that strength back up and come back fighting.  You have it in you.  Get out of your bedroom and take a look around at all the beauty that is in front of you........sara

[sway1]

sometimes the things upon which we dwell, will end up magnetically attracting those things to us. if i am thinking about drugs and i go out to the store or whatever, you can bet i will see someone or something that puts the opportunity to use right in my face. if i can't call someone right then for support, i remind my self that drugs equals PAIN. pain pain pain. find some good pleasure associations, no matter how. make funny faces. smile at strangers. pick your nose left handed. anything. but remember drugs cause pain for us. they cause it, prolong it, well, you know this better than most. don't forget the pain. EVER. blessed be, sway

[gizzy32]

Hi James,

I still have a fear of losing my sobriety, but that can be a good thing sometimes. At first I didn't want to go out, it seemed everything was a trigger and it was frustrating. Time does heal us, some it takes longer. Find something you love to do, (not just sex) haha.

I am sorry your having a rough time lately, but wanted to throw ya some support and let you know this will pass. Force yourself to be positive if ya have to. You and Kim have come a long way. You know how painful using dope is, so that is not an option. Hang in there buddy, brighter days are ahead:)

[corey411]

Hi James, Sorry your still going through this. I know what you are saying by not wanting to go out because your afraid you'll go get heroin but letting your addiction hold you prisoner in your room with your thoughts is not good. Try to get out and be busy. Be around people who won't let you go get drugs. Are you getting some good physical exercise? This helps with cravings and depression. Remember all of the reasons you had for getting clean. They can become more distant when we're feeling down. Also remember the he!! that you went through to get clean. Go back and read your posts. You don't want to go there. It might be time to just stand up to your addiction and gain more strength from it. It feels so good to win. Keeping you and Kim in my good thoughts. Corey

[10356]

Hey James.. I know how long you have been using drugs as long as I. it is difficult to reach back in time and remember the things that bought you joy as a child.. I went back to about 7, 8  I found it to be animals outside so I use them in my hobby of photography.. these helped me to fight the feelings you are having now.. to get out of the house picking up my hobby helps me to deal with cravings anxiety and gives my mind something to do.. a lot of peps attend aftercare to help AA NA I know you say they do not offer aftercare in Scotland but maybe churches offer some kind of group ?.. also james a resolve a surety that you are done with Heroin.. if you are doubting your resolve then this can be a problem.. also Depression is very real and sometimes we need the extra help of a Dr. I know they treat you like cattle but fill out the paper work and maybe get get a antidepressant on board.. we are in a war for our freedom and the more things you have going for you.. the better the chances of us winning.. you know I'm here if you would like to talk.. all my love letakos

[Jaybird30]

Do things you used to do before the H!  Remember how great it was to be sober and do stuff?  Use all those old memories of being free!  DIG.....you'll find them!  When you do use them to drive your body, soul and mind!