Planning to go off adderall in about 4 weeks

[Haddock_Entrap_Propulasion]

I've been taking adderall (at reasonable doses, but it's not my prescription), for a couple months now, and on and off for most of a year.  My dose and dependency level are both higher than they have been in the past, and I'm planning to start a family, so I need to quit, and I've scheduled winter vacation to do that.  However, as of the last time I stopped (lost access for a short time), I tend to become delusional and depressed to the point of suicidality when I'm in withdrawal from the stuff.  Basically, I'm asking for any advice on how to handle withdrawal, and anything I should do in preparation. It's not the physical aspects that worry me, I know I can handle those...also, any ideas on how to hide the withdrawals from the person I live with? She doesn't know I'm using and it's in everyone's best interests for it to stay that way. Seeing a doctor is, unfortunately, out of the question right now, so I need to know what I can do at home, by myself or with help from my boyfriend.  

[Haddock_Entrap_Propulasion]

Thanks for the advice...I won't touch antidepressants or antipsychotics though (the former will like as not make me more depressed since I'm under 25, and the latter just scare the living insert expletives here out of me), and I don't have a primary care provider.  I will certainly do my best to eat right etc. and will walk or whatever if I can.  To Alice, I sympathize...I've gone off Vicodin twice, and it was decidedly non-sparkly.  Thank you all so much for your support.

[alicelost]

Hi Kage-
I was on adderall for about a yr-I went off it-and also went into a severe depression/delusianal state-i took celexa/abilify for a few months and it did help me-
Im now dealing w/ coming off of suboxone for opiate addiction and i am having a hard time-..
Id like to get back on adderall-as it worked for me-kept me away from opiates-and helped me focus/i have been diagnosed w/ADD-but my doctor will not prescribe me any stimulant meds.
The w/d from adderall is not too bad-in terms of the physical aspects-but mentally-its really hard-you could talk to your primary care doctor about getting on an anti-depressant for a while-
Therapy/support groups can be very helpful too-
Keep posting to get some support here too-
peace-
alice

[Krissy28]

what does have you been on and for how long? This will give me a better point to reference your WD symptoms from.

[10356]

There should be no physical wd from adderall but maybe the need for sleep.. The Depression that is a wd symptom.. You say last time you tried to stop you were delusional and suicidal That is a little scary as a Dr. sure would come in handy for antidepressants... I would suggest you hand them to your bf and do a slow taper that might help with the severe depression.. Eat Healthy and exercise walk anything so long as your moving and keeping busy as this will help you to take your mind off things..Keep reading and posting here as you will receive encouragement.. I wish you well on your journey.. lesa