Please help

[Ronda8899]

I've been looking for someone that knows what I'm going through to talk to for support. I'm going cold turkey off hydrocodone 10/325 taking about 10 a day. For 7 months now I've been taking some form of opioid. It went from hydrocodone to dilaudid to oxy back to hydrocodone. I need to be off of these. Pretty much my only way to do this is cold turkey. I only have ER 40mg hydrocodone and I really don't want to take those. I've never taken ER before. I'm throwing up, very nauseous, can't stop going to the bathroom, in pain, very hot but very cold, high anxiety and so on. I took some early today at about 11 and I'm already feeling this. I went off dilaudid cold turkey until I relapsed back to hydrocodone and it wasn't like this. Please help.

[Ronda8899]

Anxiety and cravings are for sure on the rise tonight. I would do just about anything to get something to ease this right now. I'm staying in the house and trying to distract myself though so I don't do anything stupid. This is hard. It's been four days and I've already had enough, but I keep pushing forward. Hoping this eases and it gets better soon.

[PlowBoy36420]

Again, sorry for the late reply, bought a truck just to have something to tinker on during the day, hope it helps me get my mind off other thoughts lol.
That feeling is a hard one to fight, it's our minds wanting that quick fix to keep from dealing with it on its own. Keep your head up cause we have to fight this to better things.

[Ronda8899]

Maybe I rambled on to much or maybe everyone is busy today lol. Well I'm finally clear headed today. I don't feel like I'm in a fog. I have gotten up watched a movie and cooked a little bit. Doing things I used to enjoy. It's nice but I'm also missing the excitement factor. I feel like I need something today. Something to help everything not be the same. Not be boring. Obviously the one thing I want I can't have. Cravings are a *****. Not sure if I can swear here, can I? If not sorry about that one. It's true though.

[Ronda8899]

Hey plowboy it's okay I saw you were having a tough night also. Yes pretty much everything is mental to me. As long as I don't see it I can be alright with it. I did ask him last night and he felt bad after he realized what he was doing. So that's something. I've been going at this since Thursday late afternoon so I dot know if this is my 3rd day or 4th day. I'm not taking the lyrica for pain today because it make me feel like I'm drunk and I can't function and just sleep all day. I go to the Drs tomorrow to talk to her about it. I'm also goin to physical therapy tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to having to me out of the house without the high. I'm so used to taking them whenever I go somewhere that I don't know how I'll handle this. Of course I just realized I'm withdrawing off of not only hydros but also kolonopin. No wonder it's been so bad. Unfortunately once I see my dr on the 2nd I am going back on kolonopin, that one I can't stop due to my panic attacks. But that's not why I'm here or what I'm addicted to so hopefully that's okay. Today is just another day of sitting at home trying to get through this. It's been the longest couple of days ever. I'm in so much pain today I just want to cry. I'm also fighting with my fiancé over what I'm going to do tomorrow if my dr suggest that I switch pain meds. My mind and body are all messed up today. Sorry I know I'm rambling but I just needed to vent.

[PlowBoy36420]

Hey, sorry I haven't checked in to see how you were doing.
I would ask him to at least smoke elsewhere,  it's the mental aspects of things that seems to bring you down.
Maybe he will have the respect to do that, just take despite breaths and this will work out.
We will have our bad day/s but just knowing it will get better is worth it.
((John))

[Ronda8899]

Thank you so much. I love this group on here. I've never felt more encouraged. It makes me think that if I slip up I'll have to come on here and tell people. So now I want to be strong for more than just me. It really helps. I'm having a terrible night. As always the nights are the hardest. I know everyone told me not to worry about my fiancé still smoking but it's seriously bothering me. One of the main reasons I'm getting off these pills besides my health is to make our relationship last and I know how much he wants me clean. Having him still smokin all the time and getting his high is driving me nuts when I can't get my high. If I say anything I'll end up throwing a fit because I'm so upset and he knows I'm upset by it but he hasn't stopped yet so what's the point. I know everyone has to stop when they are ready. Mine didn't start out as me being ready. It started out because I couldn't get anymore and so I decided I had to be done. How do I deal with this?