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Question from shocked wife of newly disclosed husband's opiate use/abuse.
Hello, My husband has just told me that he has been using/abusing opiates for over a year and a half without my knowledge. (I did wonder where the money was going but didn't think of anything like that.) Anyway, he is detoxing himself (allegedly) and is very weepy and has an answer for everthing. He is suddenly an expert on drug detox and withdrawal and everything related. He is almost 40 years old. We are upper middle class people, have 5 sons from toddler age to college......I am at a loss. Question - is it likely he can detox himself?
Best Answer
Hi!! I am back from work. I made it through without freaking out on my students! :) Ok, I have calmed down some. I know it is hard for him and glad he finally told me the truth. Must have been hard I'm sure.
Yes, he is buff - works out 5 days a week. We actually both go to the gym at 5 every morning. I go M-F and mostly do cardio. He lifts with a bunch of other guys every morning. Then, he goes to work and I come home and get all the kids ready. (Oh, we don't leave the young ones home alone - we also have college age kids that are home and, well, they are all sleeping at that time.) So, I know he is into all that muscle stuff but NO IDEA ABOUT testosterone.
I checked out alanon and found a few meetings in my area over the next couple of days. I will show up to one.
He has this other thing today - emotional thing - apparently he told his mother 3 days ago (told me that today) and he told his mom that he had been stealing the dad's pain medication for all of this time. Well, he said that she said, "well, Dad knew you have been taking it but he didn't know how to bring it up." Sooooo - Hmmmmmmmm????? Anyway, obviously, the mom has told the dad and now my father in law keeps calling him - like 5 times a day and my hub won't talk to him. I asked him why and he said, "Kat, I am way too embarrased. I've been stealing my 65 year old father's medicine. That is not the code. I can't talk to him.
So, that's the thing today.
Thanks so much for talking to me everyone. I really appreciate it. (Whether I seem to or not, I really really do.)
Kat
P.S. really? we think it is in the genes? I suppose. I mean I have taken pain meds over the years for various surgeries, dental issues etc. and, well, I can't stand it - messes with my stomach - NEVER finish the prescription - and that is usually only for 2 or 3 days. Some people - don't get sick physically and then, apparently, some people get physically addicted to it - and, it seems, through my husband, emotionally addicted to it.
P.P.S. - You ran a few businesses? That is what he does. Very well - I might add. I am a school teacher.
Yes, he is buff - works out 5 days a week. We actually both go to the gym at 5 every morning. I go M-F and mostly do cardio. He lifts with a bunch of other guys every morning. Then, he goes to work and I come home and get all the kids ready. (Oh, we don't leave the young ones home alone - we also have college age kids that are home and, well, they are all sleeping at that time.) So, I know he is into all that muscle stuff but NO IDEA ABOUT testosterone.
I checked out alanon and found a few meetings in my area over the next couple of days. I will show up to one.
He has this other thing today - emotional thing - apparently he told his mother 3 days ago (told me that today) and he told his mom that he had been stealing the dad's pain medication for all of this time. Well, he said that she said, "well, Dad knew you have been taking it but he didn't know how to bring it up." Sooooo - Hmmmmmmmm????? Anyway, obviously, the mom has told the dad and now my father in law keeps calling him - like 5 times a day and my hub won't talk to him. I asked him why and he said, "Kat, I am way too embarrased. I've been stealing my 65 year old father's medicine. That is not the code. I can't talk to him.
So, that's the thing today.
Thanks so much for talking to me everyone. I really appreciate it. (Whether I seem to or not, I really really do.)
Kat
P.S. really? we think it is in the genes? I suppose. I mean I have taken pain meds over the years for various surgeries, dental issues etc. and, well, I can't stand it - messes with my stomach - NEVER finish the prescription - and that is usually only for 2 or 3 days. Some people - don't get sick physically and then, apparently, some people get physically addicted to it - and, it seems, through my husband, emotionally addicted to it.
P.P.S. - You ran a few businesses? That is what he does. Very well - I might add. I am a school teacher.
It's something. If we knew we'd get rid of it I guess and be regular folk. I guess it's very hard for non addicts to understand why we do the things we do(or did).
Danny (Ha!)
great post brother.
Like I said, its hard for those people to understand why addicts are the way they are. I really believe its in your DNA.
great post brother.
Like I said, its hard for those people to understand why addicts are the way they are. I really believe its in your DNA.
Thank you. I was going to say more but I was trying not to be a jerk(which is hard for me sometimes).
Very well said.
The fact that your husband came clean with you is a huge step. Huge... I never came clean with my wife because I was afraid that she'd react the way you're reacting. Try to imagine how hard it was and is for him to admit to you all the things that he's done. Secrets are a huge part of the addiction sickness and the fact that he's telling you these things is a great sign and again a huge step for him. He's probably tried to get clean many times without telling you and failed.
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I guess for someone who is an insomniac getting off the opiates would probably really through their sleeping patterns out of whack. The ability to get a normal nights sleep seems to be the last thing that returns to normal as far as the physical withdrawals go.