45 days clean guys this one is for kyle

[solost170]

hey guys its been 45 days and even thou I'm having some health problems like my legs and back which again I knew would not go away because i started taking pills for medical reasons but I'm still so glad that i got off em I have my bad days dont get me wrong but I have my amazing and wonderful days but that is life good and bad. sense I have been clean my personality has def changed I'm more funny more understanding and def a better mother friend girlfriend ext. my skin glows my eyes are so clear I looked back at pictures where my skin was a gray color and my eyes were always red and dreary looking, I also got a gift this weekend I used to be able to sing when i was using I couldnt hit a note to save my hinny, so stopt for the longest time. this weekend was my dear friends birthday and he only asked one thing that I sing. I was so scared cause to be honest I diddnt think I could do it. but as the music started the most amazing thing happened my voice was back better than ever I sang like a lil song bird it just came belting out. after I cried such a wonderful gilft I had missed singing so much and to have that back. the reason I dedicated this to kyle was because the last post I made was kinda in the dumps and kyle said he missed my upbeat and sunny ones so here is one for you. 45 days clean and even thou I will always be an addicted I'm beating this its hard but I'm doing it there is hope love light at the end of the tunnel. I got my voice back never would have dreamed that using would have robbed me of that but it did. who knows what else I will regain in another 45days.

[kyle505]

We are all very much alike in that aspect. So many have posted, including myself, about going on a vacation without pills for the first time. How so much stress is gone because you're not worrying about calling in a refill too soon, having enough for the whole trip, having enough when you get back. I never packed my pills when I flew somewhere; I kept them with me just in case the airlines lost my luggage (so, having no clean clothes, tooth brush, contacts, etc., was OK, but I couldn't take the chance with my meds). I even hid my pills when I stayed at hotels so no one took them.
We were all chained to the bottle of pills; that's why I like the phrase so much. It puts the last 15 years of my life neatly in a nutshell.  Thanks.

[solost170]

you can steal away if you want it is the truth when you are using you are chained to a bottle of pills cant go anywhere with out em do anything and always counting and making sure you have enough. its crazy if you think about it. all the things I would do and diddnt even realize I had a problem until god made me see I had a problem. to look back and think my god I cant believe how much of that stuff I was taking a crap load and the more I took the more I needed and now I dont have to have em oh sure I hurt somedays are worse than others but I dont have to wrry about having to go to the dr or oh gosh do I even have enough money to go to the dr no more freaking out over that shew priceless when I used to drive by the pharmacy Id think boy sure would like to be set free in there now I can go by one and not even think about it all what a journey what a diffrence amazing it really is amazing

[kyle505]

Chained to a bottle of pills - I gotta steal that one.  Very proud of you.

[solost170]

this is to everyone you can make it. it is possible and there is life after using and a darn good one to wake up and not have to run and get my bottles and make sure I have enough to last is priceless. you dont realize how chained you are to them until you dont take em anymore. it amazes me I thank you all for supporting me helping me talking to me and being there with me and to the ones who are starting their journey you can do it. before you know it you will be posting those post double digits and soon you even forget how many days its actually been I have had to go to my calender and count it up. and garbageaddict yes your post helped me a whole lot thank you and I'm proud of you.. its a fight but its well worth it its our lives we are fighting for our freedom.  and if you ever need help I'm a mouse click away and ben hun you are fast on my tail bud your determination has given me determination believe it or not one of your post to me I read like a million times and thought there is no way I can cave I have friends who have faith in me I cant bear to post a relapse so I just wont relapse. we are making it I'm proud of you all so much and so thankful each one of you has been apart of my journey and my life love and light addicts can be amazing ppl LOL

[solost170]

dear kyle that is a bill I would be happy to pay. big smiles I was worried there myself for a lil while but I keep on trucking and going pushed through it and still taking it minute by minute every minute you dont give in is a min clean. its a life long struggle but it can be won so many have proved it can be done just gotta want it and not give in to the lil voice in your head that says it wont hurt you will be able to do so much and not hurt. theres just one problem with the voice its wrong dead wrong like with me even though with my medical reasons taking a pill would relieve some of my issues its  a never ending road get a lil relief then gotta take more to get some more relief and then boom your hooked again chained to a bottle of pills no thank you. so yes I'm sure there will be days that the lil voice in my head will be talking to me I just gotta ignore it and never forget what i have been through when I feel like I'm gonna cave I look back on post and I recall all to well how hard the journey has been and how much I have gotten back when I quit. so using is just not a price I'm willing to pay my account on pills is empty closed and out of order. besides red flagging and telling everyone do not let me do it even if you gotta lock me up in the trunk of a car until it passes has helped alot if you cant get em you cant take em. love and light my dear friend thank you for being there for me you have been inspiration friend to me and no worrys I'm full speed ahead to 60 days and so on keep pushing. its worth it

[GarbageAddict360]

You Go Girl!  Reading this brought a huge smile to my face.  I am so happy you were able to get the gift of song back.  Every day I am clean I feel a little bit better. I know you were having some issues a few days ago and I hope my response helped :o) Keep posting because your positiveness can really bring hope to those who are still suffering.  Congrats on your clean time and keep up the great work.

[Brightfutureahead]

Wonderful to hear! Inspiring! You must be feeling super great!

[Sonrissa]

Yippie! Way to go Solo! (hey, that rhymes!) keep on going strong!  You have done spectacular! All the best!

[dominosarah]

Way to go on your clean time!!  You wear it well~~sara

[Katya5555]

Wow. I'm just sitting here thinking, "I hope I'm able to post 30, 45,60 days sometime down the line." Working towards my first double digits for tomorrow. What hard won great work. So beautiful to hear that your soul is singing again. What freedom!

[Ben727]

Congratulations on 45 day soloist! I have such a big smile right now, you wouldn't believe it. I'm thinking there's no way I'm ever gonna catch up on those 15 days you have on me, and that makes me very, very happy! All the best from your July 2012 brother-in-arms :)

[selfinduced]

WAY TO GO on 45 days! Thats Spectacular! Life will just get better and better. Be proud, I sure am......

[bigeasy1124]

Can't wait to get to those days!!!! Congrats!

[Bkitty]

Congrats on 45 days! ((hugs))~Bkitty

[kyle505]

I think I just screwed up my computer - tears running down my cheeks and falling on to the keyboard...That's water damage; I'm sending you the bill!
I'm so happy for you. I was a little worried way back when; this post is wonderful.
Congrats...Now don't just sit there - on to 60 days!

[Fireby29]

Congrats on 45 days!  

Bryan

[ImGettingClean]

What a great post!!!! Congrats to u!! there r the types of posts that help us that are just beginning the journey - you give us hope!

Thank you for the great post and once again, CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!