I am 21 years old and was a painkiller/ heroin addict since i was 16. I struggled for years with debilitating anxiety to the point where when it was bad i was a prisoner in my own house, locked in my room for months at a time. When the anxiety wasnt a problem, i was a star athlete and a straight A student. I was severly injured during a softball game spending quite some time in the hospital where i was introduced to the world of opiates. It was almost imediate that i realized the oxy's not only made me feel great but totaly took away my anxiety. Zero panic attacks, no depression- it seemed like a different, wonderful world and man was i wrong. Just three years ater i was a college drop out with a fix for any opiate i could get my hands on. (sorry i just felt compelled to give my history before the concern i have). So, i made the choice to put myself in rehab which is where I was started on Suboxone. Started on 24mg everyday for 6 months. I am now on 16mg everyday. A very high dose, i know. when i was put on i had no education of the drug other than it's "miracle" effects. Until now I made myself believe that. i had worked my way up into a very successful career in an amazing relationship i really had my life together again. well, i got laid off two days ago, no health insurance, no income, and only 6 pills left. i am terrified and feel helpless. my doctor turned his back on me, my sponser is just saying it wil be alright, but it wont be. i still get cravings now and again and i oly have a few pills so tapering is not really an option. the w/ds are not what i am most afraid of...i know that i am going to end up in a relapse if i dont find help before this happens. i am depressed and scared. does anyone know of any help in the philadelphia area? any advice at all is appreciated. i am so freaking scared and i feel hopless...i dont want to lose everything i have worked so hard for... :'(
-me.