Rehab soon - scared to death!!

[lolaragdoll28]

Hi guys
I have had an addiction to Dihydrocodeine and codeine since age 9 (I had headaches since age 8) and I'm 30. I'm soon being placed into rehab and also I'm very appreciative of that BUT as the days go by I'm starting to freak out BIG TIME. I'm really depressed and scared because iv used these pills as a emotional blocker for years and I love taking them. I had cancer at 11 and heart failure at 27 (because chemo is toxic to heart) so I'm scared of uncovering deep seeded depression. I'm on paroxetine too because of depression but it's not really doing much ,except giving me awful sweats at night which have also given me full blown insomnia. I need to change to sertraline soon. But has anyone been so scared to go to rehab and could give me advice? I can't remember a time I was not on the painkillers and I'm sadly scared I won't cope without them in life eventhough iv  been a functioning addict, I have not been able to get a boyfriend due to this addiction scaring them off I just want to be normal but I'm so confused. Please help me

[loveandlight05]

Oh hun, you have been through the wringer. So not fair. But here you are doing everything you can do to get clean. That is incredible. After being given that medicine at such a young age and developing what I can only imagine is a huge dependency, you are coming out fighting, and that is just plain amazing.

I recently went to an outpatient rehab. I know that is quite different, but I, too, was scared. The first day, they asked me so many questions. I began to get scared because they were asking me about how many times I used. Did I use while I was teaching? Stuff like that. I started to panic because I thought they were going to call CPS or something. Then I just asked them if they report people, and of course the answer was no.

Each day that I came into the rehab for treatment, I felt a sense of calm. I knew it was where I belonged. It became my safe place, and I didn't want to lose that. I think this will happen for you, too. You might be apprehensive at first or scared, but I promise you that once you are there for a few days, you will start to feel so much better.

Think of it this way: It is one of the only times in your life when you get to just focus on you. Just work on you. Learn about yourself and what you are capable of. It is OK to be self indulgent right now. Use this as an opportunity to relax and do the work on yourself that you have always wanted to do. Like me, I believe you will learn to love rehab and look back on it when you are finished as a completely healing experience.

[lulu747]

Wow my dear, you have been through and awful lot and from such a young age!  Listen, you battled cancer as a child and won.  You can battle addiction as an adult and win too.  Think of rehab the way you thought about chemo, except it will be much, much gentler and kind to your body.  It is about healing the mind/body/spirit and is the gateway to a new and beautiful life which you so richly deserve.  Take this time to completely focus on yourself.  Yes, you will face some painful things, but you are no stranger to that.  Emotional healing leads to better physical health.  And a happy whole life.  You are worth it.
Keep posting..
Lu

[Lyss279]

It's just a normal thing to be scared going to rehab for the first time. The first time I've been there I was so scared too, I didn't know how to deal with it, but when the time passed by, I already realized that I was doing fine and just continue what I started. I just thought of positive things. I thought of it like a vacation so I wouldn't be thinking of negative things. You'll be alright. Good luck to you.

[Eem_sa]

Think of it like summer camp for adults.  I was terrified my first time.  And within two days that anxiety lessens.  Everyone if there for the same thing, so there is no judging.  The staff are all there to help, and have usually battled addiction too, so they have first hand knowledge of what you are going through.  It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.

[Eliseisdreaming]

You can do.this, because youve already been through what only some can only imagine. Dont think of.rehab as a scary place. It can.be when u.dont know what to expect. Ive been to rehab once and it was like a vacation in some ways. It was pleasant for the most part. And the ppl are only there to get u started on recovery, so its not a permanent thing. You have winner written all over you, i know you can do this. Try not to let the apprehension of what will be bring u down. Head up, eyes ahead.

[ActingBrandNew]

Everybody Ive ever met has been scared before going into rehab. Ive been a few times and remember feeling scared the first time. All your thoughts right now are normal but try not to think that far ahead because you will just overwhelm yourself. Im sure you will experience some depression...but if your working a good recovery plan you will learn how to deal with it. But try not to think about that stuff...just concentrate on getting in the rehab door. Dont think about anything beyond that. You will be alright.