Rehab

[leeandbelinda]

First I want to say I am sorry for the people who wrote words of encouragement. For some reason Comast deleted my email account and I lost all the messages. Fast forward to today. Some may remember about 4 months ago my wife was trying to get off Loritabs. Things did not go as well as I thought and I had hoped. She confessed that she was still taking them and more now. She finally admitted that she was hooked and needed help. We got her into a rehab center to hopefully get off them, so we can save our marriage. It is just as hard on me with her not being here becasue she is my best friend and we had our routine of drinking coffee and talking about anything that we want, and it was so depressing to wake up and not see my best friend laying next to me. I was wondering what it is like in rehab. They said she is going through a detox and would be home in 5 to 7 days. What is the process afterwards and what do I have to look forward to. I just want my wife and best friend back with me.

[Kevin_Bacon]

I have to agree with several posters -- seven days??? Only with a massive aftercare routine that takes up a lot of her time ... I cleaned up in nine, but no aftercare, and guess what?

Any way to extend the detox? It's hard for you, I know, but personal contact is generally proscribed with opioid detox -- time for the addict/dependent/whatever to flush out and participate in programmes -- this sounds like a "quickie" deal -- move 'em in; move 'em out -- even two weeks is a quickie, but with proper aftercare, workable.

So, she's under medical supervision, and you don't need to worry on that front. If you can get this thing extended, or move her to another, don't hesitate!  Dependence is insidious: you can't stop her if she caves, so you have to be sure that she's getting maximum value in rehab -- detox is horrible, but getting shoved out the door in seven days with a smiley-face button just isn't the way it's done.

So ... short-term loneliness (rehab -- 14-28 days -- visiting OK) and more wonderful coffee and yakking in the mornings, more of what it was before this nightmare began ... OR a 7-day detox with no purpose other than purging her system and a smiley-face badge -- no lessons in alternatives to instant gratification, where you become an annoying obstacle to a worthless way of life, where you never know what to expect when you get home ... Okay, I sound like Dear ****ing Abby here, but you have to summon every scrap of aftercare, attend meetings with her (if that's her thing: some, in principle, avoid the not-so-veiled religiosity of AA, NA, etc. I ignore all the "higher power" stuff, the 12-step stuff -- gets you out, and t's good theatre, and the folks there know the story).

Because, as Rickie Lee Jones put it so many years ago, you guys should be singing, "We ... belong together".

Feel free to PM me about cat hypnosis. It's a long story; haven't been sleeping much lately.

I'm mad as a hatter, but I know what your situation's like, and it doesn't have to fade out, does it?

[NautyOne]

Hi, hun.....first of all you sound like such a wonderful husband.  Just don't cross the line of being an enabler cause its easy for addicts to play on the love and sympathy of a wonderful partner.

As far as rehab.  5-7 days just isn't enough in my opinion. Depending on the facility...the one my friend went to was about that duration.  They kept him pumped on phenobarbital and I think a small dose of suboxone.  He didn't suffer much in the way of withdrawal because they kept him "out of it".  They did send him home with a week of suboxone and an anti-depressant.  Needless to say, isn't long before he started all over again.  I am not saying this will happen to her because I do believe in Miracles, but.......yeah, the but.......it is true that detox is the easy part.  Its the mental habitual issues the associations and triggers are what keep many lured back into the cycle.  I believe that if she does not receive aftercare, meetings etc.  Her chances of relapse are very high.  My heart breaks for you, but sometimes a little tough love with a shot of compassion on the side can be real helpful.  Addicts learn how to create there enablers, manipulate them well.  Don't ever feel bad, sad or used ...the best thing you can do is educate yourself on addiction so you can understand she is sick and its not that she doesn't love you.  Get her to go to meeting NA, PA, AA whatever it takes.  If she refuses, then the chances of her relapsing are serioulsly high.......keep a close eye.

I truly wish you all the best.  She is a lucky woman........but, just remember if you cater to her too much, fluff her pillows, and make things too easy for her. Your not truly helping her.  She is an addict.......

Please keep us posted.  We are all rooting for the both of you.

Luv,
Nauty.................

[Eddie1111]

Wow,  this really hits close to home for us.  You should see my post I did about my mother.  The 7 day detox will not be enough.  I am sorry to say but we got our mom to stop several times over the last 15 years and it is the most horrible feeling to find out she has been sneaking or stealing pills again after you thought the nightmare was over.  Now we have had her in a rehab center for 3 weeks and she has been detoxed and sober now for over a week.  The real work and therapy has begun. The doctors say there is a big difference between sober and recovered.  We have spent countless hours in family therapy and learning how to change things when she gets out so that nothing can cause one of her triggers to make her want to take again.  This has been the hardest thing our family has done but we decided that she was worth every effort.  The mental issues are the hardest to watch.  Keep it up,  someone has to care enough to help our loved ones, Right?  

[windowsca]

If that's the case you might want to consider some hypnotherapy.  Google that one - it's a fairly misunderstood therapy (too many tv shows, I guess) but when I was getting my son off a HUGE Oxy habit, it worked wonders to help him stay clean.  Not a magic bullet - it won't last forever and you must incorporate other stuff as I mentioned above,  Being a single working mom, I was in the same boat as you and it got him through the cravings with sheer mind over matter.

[leeandbelinda]

Thanks everyone for the replies. I know it is going to be hard for her, I just want to be prepared to help her. I work 12 hour days and will not be able to monitor her the way I would like. It is going to be hard to trust her about them now.

[windowsca]

You're smart to be worried about that!  Detox will almost certainly not be enough.  She obviously knows very well how to manipulate you -  that's not how she wants it to be, but opiates hijack your brain and you don't get too many choices in the long run.  They make them for you.  The very best thing you can do, while she's away is research, research, research.  Read all the stuff about opiates you can find and especially the "Fighting Relapse" in the MedHelp health pages.  l believe understanding what opiates do to your brain is paramount to them not winning.  Everyone is right, the hard part is yet to come.  Her behavior needs to change for sure, but so does the way of thinking, which too often seems to be drug "control" or replacement.  I constantly see  the "what do I take to get off this" questions regarding drug replacement.  She needs to think NO DRUGS not different drugs.  I wholly support an all holistic approach.  Goolge ___________ for opiate detox, filling in the blank with acupuncture, niacin, sauna, hypnosis, yoga, herbs, supplements ... It goes on till no end - a whole other world out there!  Find the right combination for your budget and lifestyle and knock yourself out.  Exercise, sleep and nutrition are very important.  There are a few good things about this type of therapy 1) no drugs  2)not a one-size-fits-all 3) you can do it together and both benefit 4) lasting change, which is the key to success.  Good luck and keep us in the loop!

[Ella789]

Sorry about belinda,  opiates are hard to kick, after taking them for sometime, now you know why so many of us say that the Detox is the easy part, cause the Mental part has to be addressed as well.  It is part of recovery and it takes time.  Our brains need to heal as best it can, this takes awhile.   Addicts will lie, cheat, steal, to get the opiates.  Not proud of it,  I don't think I ever stole, but I did lie and cheat on myself.  I had to realize that I could not go on this way,  it made me miserable,   I am finished with that way of life now,  prescription pain pills don't care if you are an addict or not,  if you stay on them long enough you will be addicted even tho not everyone is labled an addict,  if it is used to treat ligitamate pain.  
Best wishes to you and your wife,  I know this is a strain on the both of you!

Ella

[leeandbelinda]

Thanks for the reply. I just talked to her and she sounded really good. Said she had been sleeping all day. What can I do when she comes home. I have already stocked up on Orange juice and Vitamin water because she drinks that like crazy. I am really scared that she will think that one or two wont hurt her and she starts again. Just want ot help her when she comes home. I have already planned the first night back.

[Shelwoy]

When you are in rehab, the first couple of days is allot of paperwork,meeting staff and other patients, getting used to things. In detox, they usually try to make you as comfortable as possible, check your vitals excessively, let you sleep if you can.There is also talk of what your treatment plan entails, if you plan on going into rehab and meetings and such. All places are quite different in their approach.