Relapse......???

[OxyDout]

I recently, a couple of days ago had bought 40mg of oxycontin after my detox of about 10 days, I seem to go back and forth with this, I can never get passed the 3rd day without oxy or methadone, I usually use methadone for a few days and it works well for me, I never use more then 5mg in a day, its just enough to hold me until the next day, although its still painful it keeps me from going to buy any oxy.  Anyway, I used about 3mg of methadone yesterday and 3 this morning, but it doesn't do much since its not the physical withdrawal anymore, its the mental game and I can't get passed it.  I watched 28 days again last night, anyone seen that movie?? its a good one, it fits well with what I'm going through.  
My other question is.... Is it normal to have emotional relapses for a loved one who has died.  I keep going through these deep but short depressive states for a friend who died on sept. 11th, he was my roommate and a best friend for the last 3-4 years. If anyone has any input or any reaction at all, that would be great.

GWH

[Unwise]

Thank you for the suggest involving TM.  I have tried it before, along with yoga, and found both to be very effective.  My problem right now is attaining the mindset in order for it to work.  Right now I am dealing with chronic depression and a relentless workload, which combined, leave me with little time except to worry about how I am going to make through the next day without losing my mind.  I keep looking at the calendar and trying to find a weekend or even longer that I can have for myself, in which I can not only devote some time to introspection, but also deal with addiction, withdrawal, and everything that comes with those things.  Last night I was seriously considering checking in to a hospital or rehab facility.  Today I am thinking that if I can find a good psychiatrist who deals with addiction then that may be enough to get me on the road to recovery.  The problem with depression is that it saps your energy and hope to such a degree that you don't even want to pick up the phone and make that call.  Sooner or later I need to surrender myself to something or someone who can help me. Were I religious, it would be God, but that argument has already been beaten to death on this and other threads, so I will not rehash it.  Thanks again for your ideas and as always, good luck.

[MrsMann]

I have a question about what someone said earlier about Amino Acids being dangerous.  I took L-Tyrosine for a week or so and noticed a few strange feelings, but just chalked it up to it being w/d symptoms.  TODAY IS DAY 11 and I actually slept NORMALLY last night!  Not all night, not by a long shot, but it's better than nothing at all!  It's so great to be free of the cold sweat pouring all over my body all day and all night, getting hot then cold then hot again and being soaking wet from it all.  

Strange thing is, w/d sneaked up on me - I mean, I had been taking HC (7.5/500) for the longest time and I'd quit for long periods of time between Rx's with absolutely no problem.  It was when they upped the mg to 10/325 that the nightmare started.  I really, honestly had no idea what could happen if/when I stopped or ran out or whatever.  I thought I had the flu that first time, but then it happened again and the truth came crashing down on me.  

Anyway, who can tell me about amino acid problems?

[DMR]

I am not a Christian.  I was raised an Orthodox Hindu.  My faith is not as strong as my religion says it should be.  But I do believe in God and his power.

Unwise, why don't you try some transcendental meditation.  Pick up a book from the library.  You don't have to be involved in Hinduism to practice this technique of relaxation.  You will surprisingly find power to do anything you want from this if done correctly with the correct mindset.  Give it a try if you have time.  

Can you please elaborate on how DL-phenylaline made you feel specifically if you can?

Thanks & Good Luck
DMR

[stars]

i'm truly sorry that you find my method of sanity and being free from addiction a subject that can be beaten to death!  

wishing you peace.....  stars.......

[stars]

hi jennyfla, thank you for your kind words, i truly appreicate your encouragment and support.  i also pray that i read your success story on here soon also..  its within all of us to want to change.  i understand your thougts about detoxing away from home, it was something i thought about also due to the fact that i have 4 children.  the important thing is, is that you make the decision to do something.  my prayers and thoughts are with you. wishing you Peace....  love, stars.........

[stars]

this is the most bitchin thing about this forum, everyone is so honest.  how refreshing!  unwise, i thank you for the compliment, and i am glad to see that i was somewhat of an inspiration to you only if it was for a brief second.  as i have expressed here on these boards before, i don't get on a pedestal and ram God or religion down peoples throats, only because choosing that path is a personal decision.  i have been around long enough to know what works in my life.  God has proved Himself to me many times, and has yet to fail me.  tomorrow will my 14th day Vic free!  this freedom didnt come because i am strong, because no one loved poppin those things more than me..  they were my weakness, and i am lucky enough to know the strenght of God...  that is why i am free!!!  and i also know that i will not go back.....  but its one day at a time.  unwise, whatever path you choose and your happy with, then i am happy for you.  but His awesome power is above and beyond anything we can accomplish on our own...  this i promise..  i truly hope you find everything you need to be happy and free!  with love....  stars...