Relapse......???

[OxyDout]

I recently, a couple of days ago had bought 40mg of oxycontin after my detox of about 10 days, I seem to go back and forth with this, I can never get passed the 3rd day without oxy or methadone, I usually use methadone for a few days and it works well for me, I never use more then 5mg in a day, its just enough to hold me until the next day, although its still painful it keeps me from going to buy any oxy.  Anyway, I used about 3mg of methadone yesterday and 3 this morning, but it doesn't do much since its not the physical withdrawal anymore, its the mental game and I can't get passed it.  I watched 28 days again last night, anyone seen that movie?? its a good one, it fits well with what I'm going through.  
My other question is.... Is it normal to have emotional relapses for a loved one who has died.  I keep going through these deep but short depressive states for a friend who died on sept. 11th, he was my roommate and a best friend for the last 3-4 years. If anyone has any input or any reaction at all, that would be great.

GWH

[Unwise]

Yes, I have taken phenalynine and had a similar reaction.  Taking aminos can be as tricky as "regular" drugs, so be careful.  I am sorry you are still in pain, however.  I take it that none of the new analgesics (like Vioxx) work for you?  I was given Ultram a few years ago, took it, but it did not help me.  I tend to bone up on whatever drugs are in my system and read that it was a kind of SSRI and since I was on prozac, it was contraindicated anyway so I threw it away.  Then I started reading these horror stories in this forum about people being addicted to Ultram, and it is not even a narcotic.  That baffles me, but I take it at face value.

I found stars' posts to be very inspiring.  They gave me a lot of hope. My problem is that I am somewhere between agnostic and atheist, and therefore unable to rely on Christ, God, or any other divine form of intervention to help me in this time of crisis.  Short of my being born again, which I seriously doubt will happen, does anyone have any advice for someone who is not Christian, much less religious?  As much as I respect anyone's religious beliefs, I am not looking to be converted--I was raised Episcopalian and have tried everything from Quaker to Buddhism-- but I would like to hear from anyone who shares my own beliefs (or lack thereof) or at least someone who is empathatic to my situation and has advice or words of wisdom in that regard.

[jennyfla]

Congratulations Star, and 'Star' is a great name!  Shoot for the stars, keep the pills away and everything you want to accomplish in life is your's if you want it.
I definately believe in trusting God and talking to him often.  Sometimes i even hear him answer through my own words to myself.  He knows i know what is right and what needs to be done, he has faith that i can free myself of this addiction!
Everyone else detoxing, congratulations and keep going!  It will only getting better and better, but you will have your bad days, but they won't last!  Take your mind off of your cravings by taking a walk, doing something that you enjoy, and the craving will go away for a while.
GHW, Stay strong, and try to stay away from the methadone, it has a way of creeping up on you!  Also, about your friend.  Talk to him and know that he can hear every word you say, and that he is with you even if his body is gone!  His spirit is with you, and he wants you to get better for you!
I hope to be able to post a success story about myself soon.  I'm looking into the buph approach of detoxing.  I can't do a 'cold turkey' with my three young children to care for, no one lets me rest for even one minute around here!  I know they would understand if mommy wasn't feeling well, and they would find strength to do more for themselves, but i always feel i need to be there 100% for them.  I know they'd rather have a well mommy, so a couple weeks wouldn't kill them!  Plus, i plan to use them as my survival techique after i detox.  They will be my lifeforce to be strong and not turn back to a life with drugs.  I will use them, and they will be rewarded with a better mommy!
Stay strong everyone!
Lv Jenny

[DMR]

I am astonished that all of your doctors prescribe you all so many pills (even if you tell them you are addicted)

I am on my 13th day of not having Vics and I feel Great...that is with no withdrawl problem nor psychological cravings

But I still have Pain, and lots of it, I tried this supplement called DL-Phenylalanine and it works but with one very bothersome side effect:  Nervousness and Anxiety leading to panic attacks.

I don't recommend the use of this Phenylalanine at all (especially if you get nervous or panic  easily)

Does anyone have any comments or experience with Phenylalanine ???

Please post
THank you

[stars]

First of all congradulations on your 9th day!!!!!  that is something to be very proud of.  today is my 13th day!  not feeling all that great, but spirtually i am...  i to have considered myself a Christian, but we all have to realize that even as Christians we fail....  we all have our reasons for our actions.  God doesnt condemn us for our failures, but He rejoices in our openness to Him and welcomes every request that we make..  MrsMann, we are all here at this point in our lives for a reason, be it good or bad, and i truly believe that with His help we can be free...  i am living proof of that..  no one loved their addiction more than me, but i got tierd, and weak and i knew the only way out of my hell was to asked to be delivered and i was....  this forum has been of great help to me, not only that but the prayers of so many friends and family.  i am so lucky..  please please keep up your good work, feeling like **** for awhile is a small price to pay for the final outcome.  i will pray for you as i do every single person that posts on here.  its 12:30 pm and i need to see if i can sleep...  havent been able to sleep for awhile...  love and Gods true blessings to you...

[MrsMann]

I'm have been free of all the HC for 9 days today.  Feels like an eternity. Sad part is, I'm a Christian.  I claim to have faith in God, and trust Jesus to carry me, not some stupid pill.  I've been reading all your comments for a good while now.  I'm not sure at all how I would up here, all I know is here I am.  I have become a very resourceful person when it comes to getting what I THINK I need.  It makes me ill.  

Oh well, just wanted to say hi and let you all know you're not alone, wherever in the world you are.

[stars]

:)    thank you......  :)