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Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
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Avatar universal

Relapsed:(((( 36 hours in

Well I made it to around 56 days last time but the anxiety was so bad that I had to go into an inpatient med setting for help. I was there for 3 days and they gave me an antidepressant which I have been taking and I think helps and clonzapem at night. They gave it 3 x a day but I take it once a night. I figured with still having anxiety what the **** and I started again. I am 36 hours in and so far this withdrawal is not as bad but I do feel the anxiety coming on. I am so sad that I did this to myself I am almost to the point that I want to quit my job and go away to a 30 to 90 day program it is just the money. My husband knows. Please pray for me
20 Responses
5592133 tn?1383883103
you really made my day that meditation is helping you.i am so happy for you.she puts me to sleep everynite lately.what a  blessing to sleep.for the rls i found nurontin to make it disappear for me.now mind you i take 100 mg at night my doc told me to take 3 times a day when i did was in a 24 hour manic.but one pill rls gone no side effects.as to the panic i got it 12 years ago when my mom died and then after911.i beat it by yelling out it and halve mg of xanax at night.the clonipan is long lasting good for withdrawing but xanax short acting so you can get to sleep but the effects are long gone by the time you wake up.we are both chronic pain people  i find the less i see the docs the better i do except for my twice yearly epidurial shots.got it two weeks ago and i am so happy that i was dancing on my vacation.what causes your chronic pain.we cant beat it but  we have no choice but to try and be happy and live a good life inspite of it.your almost there.yoga next
6538759 tn?1386253796
Praying for you and for all of us.  I'm struggling too.  I wish I could go into treatment but can't because of money and my daughter.  Can you get to a 12 step meeting?  I went to one last night and it helped.  
Avatar universal
If it takes a rehab, you won't regret it. I had to quit my job to get clean. Working on my issues that lead to addiction is a full time job for me. You're blood levels should be lower from your last attempt, so it hopefully it won't be as bad this time. Anxiety was intense for me too, I just kept reminding myself that I wasn't dying. Hang in there and keep close. Are you taking any vitamins, amino acids, or EmergenC? Make sure the water keeps flowing in and out of you. You will do it, it's obvious you really want this.
Avatar universal
Thank You both, I am just in the crying phase right now even though I know I did this to myself. I relapsed for 2 months which is a lot shorter than my original time on Percocet and vicodin from my last withdrawal. I am 100 percent committed to doing this...I am taking the week off from the "Flu" and hope by day 10 I will be past the physical and able to control the anxiety with celexa and clonzapem. I know they are addictive but I just cant loose my job yet. I will start weaning of the clonzapem around day 10 hopefully. I am going to look for a 12 step meeting in the area. But if it comes down to it and I need to choose my health over work I will. I cant do this again, Thank You for your support
5592133 tn?1383883103
i was really worried about you but  i thought maybe you were busy and  maybe you were ok.its good your are calling out for help everybody here will will help they sure helped me.i am not usually on the boards anymore because i dont want the oxyi anymore i rather have my chronic pain.it doesnt hurt as much as my lost soul in drug addiction.when you get better and you will get better you will know what i am talking about.whatever pain we are in it is not as bad as the pain of losing your soul to the drugs.i didnt eat or sleep for weeks .i lost 30 lbs but i got threw and i am ok no i am great and i know you will be too.dont worry about yesterday just look forward to tomm.its one minute at a time one hour at a time  one day at a time.my favorite saying was i aint going back and  even though you slipped you can say i aint going back.follow the protocol and  keep hydrated and eat even if you dont want to.yoga was my saving grace it helped so much.try it.you can send notes to me anytime .please get better it means a lot to me.i am there for you
Avatar universal
Did your anxiety finally go away? And if so when. That was the hardest thing for me
1827057 tn?1397523877
Taking the klonipin for ten days straight is something I would not do,especially if you are not already on it .Ten days off opiates should at least get you back in working condition .Please be careful with the klonopin You really do not need it
Avatar universal
Thank You for your concern I am currently on it in the evenings 1 a night I have been on it for 2 months my psych thought it was best especially because I was having a horrible time during my last go round of withdrawals and had to go inpatient because it got so out of control. I have PTSD also which *****. I am hoping after withdrawal and stabilization I can begin tapering down on it.  I'm in celexa this time as well as I was in a dark place during withdrawal.  I want nothing more than to be normal again and know it takes time. Again Thank You for your concern I truly appreciate it
Avatar universal
The anxiety is a big one for people, everyone is different on times. For me detoxing from subs, it took until about 130 days before I noticed it disappearing, I still get it now and then but nowhere near as bad as it was. You just have to stick with it and believe in the process, it does and will get better! Be patient, ;)
Avatar universal
Thank You I'm just trying to get through the worst 6 hours from 48 I can't believe I am here again ill touch base tomorrow looking forward to day 7 and every hour is one less to go through
5592133 tn?1383883103
the yoga did it for me or if you cant get into yoga try meditation fragrant heart.com is a website with many different kinds of meditations.it is free.start with headphone on your computor and sit in a comfortable chair  and start with short ones 5 min or 8 min.as you get better at it you can try some of the longer ones.it is sort of like drugs you get hooked on it and it makes you relax but its good  for you.try it please you have nothing to lose and even if you are to stressed out right now as you get better it is a great tool to relax
Avatar universal
Well I am 1 and a half hours away from the start of day 5 and the anxiety finally kicked in this afternoon...I was hoping to avoid it since I am on celexa this time. I am hoping that this is the peak and in the next week or so it goes back down. The RSL started last night as well and my tummy has been hurting this time. I know I did this to myself and I cant wait to be free however long it takes. I am committed  have a good night and God Bless
5592133 tn?1383883103
the docs told me it was out of you system in 5 days but because i was on for three years it took a lot longer because you were on for a short time maybe your almost done but believe me if you dont find something to replace the addiction and what got you there the anxiety wont go away.try the meditation.try the yoga go to the gym.just keep trying i was working wood with my son i had to change my life to get better i am better now and building houses again.look at my pic i am healthy again.you can get your life back but you have to make some changes only you know what those changes are.love art
Avatar universal
Thanks for your support, I'm officially on day 5.  I'm going to see my shrink on day 10 to talk about everything. I am dedicated to succeed this time. Thank you again ill keep u updated
Avatar universal
4 hours from day 6:) cant wait for 1 week...:)
5592133 tn?1383883103
is the withdrawal almost over.was it easier because you werent on as long.i sure hope so.please talk to your shink about what i said.keep going your al most there.keep eating and drinking.
Avatar universal
Day 6, yesterday was better than today so far  but definitely easier than last time although the RLS has been sneaking up at night and I have been taking my clonzapem which makes me groggy in the morning. I worry about coming off that but I do not want to go back inpatient again for anxiety, I still think Im in withdrawal but hopefully in the next week it will get better. Whoa I am irritable this AM as well. I hope that passes soon I have so much to be Thankful for. I went on to fragrant heart and tried some meditation, I am going to keep that up Thank You for that suggestion. Butch when did your panic attacks go away 60, 90 days? Thanks for your support:)
Avatar universal
I know what you mean about being irritable, although in my case its ANGER!!! It doesn't last very long but I have to talk myself down. Like you I have a lot to be thankful for also. Just hang in there it gets less and less. God Bless you
Avatar universal
I am 10 hours from day 7 and I think my body figured out Im not joking and we are done with opiates. I am a chronic pain patient, but I want to find other ways to deal with the pain and hate having a monkey.  I hope this is the peak and tomorrow is better...I don't even know how I can still have "Reah" or what in Gods names coming out of me anymore...LOL. Im also going to drop that nightly clonzapem dose it makes me feel like **** the whole next day like a fog.

I read your post congratulations on your progress you are doing AWESOME:)
Avatar universal
Made 1 week:)) I still have physical symptoms pain in legs and my tummy this go round is so sore...looking forward to normal bathroom interactions.  I lowered the dose of klonopin last night as I feel I'm over the hump.  Hopefully. I don't feel as foggy...hopefully the physical stuff will be gone in another week. Thank You for all your support
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