Aa
Restless
I'm pretty restless right now.....I was feeling better earlier. Now boredom is hitting me. I wish I could get out of this house, but I know if I wait another day or 2 I will be more energetic. It's snowing so bad in the little town I live in right now the highway is probably pretty bad. Just waiting for my kids to come home from school...another hour and a half and they will be here, another hour after that and my husband should be home too. I always feel so much better when they are home. I'm not craving morphine today though, day 6 clean! I guess that's something, I'm almost past this low point i can feel it but the anxiety of waiting to feel better is killing me....I want it NOW! Posting is really helping to let up my feelings too. Thanks for reading.
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Im glad u had a good day I know your right about everything your saying I have my positive moments the my bad ones. Im going to take my kids to the park and to go eat today while my husbands at work hopefully it will put me in a better mood
Anger is a GREAT motivator when used right. You should be ANGRY at those stupid little pills, I know I was (am?). What they steal from you they will never give back. We would never tolerate this kind of thing from a person, yet we allowed it when it came to drugs. ABSOLUTELY NOT. Stay angry crys - it will help enormously!!
:) p.s. and after the anger, smile, at how far you've come.
:) p.s. and after the anger, smile, at how far you've come.
Oh...I had a great day yesterday! It was soo nice to go out and just do the shopping and stop for something to eat for a few hours. I was worried at first, but as I was driving in the car I was looking out the window and thinking about things,I was talking instead of yelling with my kids, actually listening to the music on the radio.....music is so great! And most importantly........I was not scheduling around pills....I was not in a bad mood because it was taking too long being out and I wanted to get home to my pills. God! What a waste of life these pills are, I didn't even realize when I was on them how much I was missing. I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about things instead of being in a coma (some of my best ideas come from thinking during the night), I only need 7-8 hours of sleep now and my body feels rested! Before I would sleep all morning with my kids running around, and yelling at them for being loud. I hate myself for how I was on those pills, I never want to go back to that feeling ever again. Yes, I still have anxitety in the morning, I get a little panicky at times when I'm stressed, but I'm day 9 clean today and I feel better than I have felt in months! The key word here is FEEL, I am feeling again!
Lovemyfam2000- I hate mornings still, so I've decided I need to turn my nervous energy into cleaning, even if it means I have everything done for the day by 9am and sit in a nervous wreck for the rest I know the longer I wait I won't do it......maybe you could try that too, burn off the stress, put some music on even it's really early, and just push through it. I know it's really hard finding motivation, but it's in you somewhere, you know that! I can't wait either until all of this is past us and it's just a bad memory, a bad spot in our lives that we never have to go through again if we just enjoy life for what it is now and forget about the guilt of these damn pills and forget them! Who are those pills to run our lives! Screw them!
Lovemyfam2000- I hate mornings still, so I've decided I need to turn my nervous energy into cleaning, even if it means I have everything done for the day by 9am and sit in a nervous wreck for the rest I know the longer I wait I won't do it......maybe you could try that too, burn off the stress, put some music on even it's really early, and just push through it. I know it's really hard finding motivation, but it's in you somewhere, you know that! I can't wait either until all of this is past us and it's just a bad memory, a bad spot in our lives that we never have to go through again if we just enjoy life for what it is now and forget about the guilt of these damn pills and forget them! Who are those pills to run our lives! Screw them!
Hi cry that's so weird I always feel nervous and weird in the day to and feel better later on the day I guess maybe it's normal I do feel tierd and lazy alot which stinks cause I like my house clean all the time and just like getting stuff done but just don't have strength right now I'm going to force my self to do some laundry today I just can't wait till this is over for me for u and for everyone else going Throu this I hope u have a nice sat with your kids
Great advice! I woke up this morning Day 8 yay!!, and yes the anxiety swooped in, but it is leveling out now.....so that's something, it's barely 11am. I feel alot better today, maybe it's because my kids are home....i don't care it still feels better than how i've felt all week. I'm actually going to leave the house today, do some shopping, might take the kids to a movie. I'm really looking forward to leaving the house to do something normal....I'm scared though, that I might lose my energy while I'm out, that I'm leaving the house completely sober for the first time in months....I don't know what it is going to feel like. This makes me a little anxious, but I trying to push through it.
I learned the hard way about coffee. I tried to drink it in the early days thinking it would help with me low energy and just that overall sluggish feeling. WRONG! The caffeine made me sooooo jittery. Just awful.
I also found this to be true with some of the supplements suggested, specifically 5htp and l-tyrosine. And the OTC sleep aids like Advil PM or Tylenol PM did the same thing to me. So I just stopped. In fact, it wasn't until about two months out that I was able to start drinking coffee again on a regular basis (I know - sounds like forever but it's not). So for now try herbal or just regular hot tea instead. It can be very soothing, I'd add honey and some milk and it made for a nice replacement for coffee. It's hot and comforting and doesn't cause the nervousness.
Hang in there - night time was better for me too. Not sure if it was the drugs though since I was always a night person. And every day, for the first 3 weeks or so, I would get especially anxious around 2:30ish - I have no idea why since it wasn't necessarily a time of the day when I took my DOC so it was weird. But eventually that feeling passed too.
Stay strong and just think, by midnight tonight you have another day under your belt! How great is that? Embrace the early victories as they will help keep you motivated. :)
I also found this to be true with some of the supplements suggested, specifically 5htp and l-tyrosine. And the OTC sleep aids like Advil PM or Tylenol PM did the same thing to me. So I just stopped. In fact, it wasn't until about two months out that I was able to start drinking coffee again on a regular basis (I know - sounds like forever but it's not). So for now try herbal or just regular hot tea instead. It can be very soothing, I'd add honey and some milk and it made for a nice replacement for coffee. It's hot and comforting and doesn't cause the nervousness.
Hang in there - night time was better for me too. Not sure if it was the drugs though since I was always a night person. And every day, for the first 3 weeks or so, I would get especially anxious around 2:30ish - I have no idea why since it wasn't necessarily a time of the day when I took my DOC so it was weird. But eventually that feeling passed too.
Stay strong and just think, by midnight tonight you have another day under your belt! How great is that? Embrace the early victories as they will help keep you motivated. :)
A suggestion for you...since you live with another addict. Find a physical activity that is enjoyable. One that comes to mind is swimming. You know I'm the partner of an addict so I'm living some of the passive side-effects of it. I swim1-2000 meters per week - it is one of the most therapeutic activities I've ever done. I feel like a million bucks each week. I feel proud and energetic. Swimming reminds you of the wonders of your own being. The sound of the water is calming. You will meet other people at the pool. You will have time to mediate and look at yourself in retrospect. You will feel cleansed for the entire day after you are done. Once I finish for the day, I look forward to the next visit and feeling a little stronger then the last. It is the best.
Okay....so I cannot drink coffee yet! lol. Oh I am trying to laugh about this very hard, because the half of coffee i just drank that my father in law got me when he stopped by to say hi to my 3 yr old, well it has put me into anxious over drive. good GOD what was I thinking? Just thought maybe i was feeling good enough to handle coffee. I am not that good yet....and i've figured out that this time in the afternoon is really hard for me trigger wise. it's when i used to take morphine....maybe that's why I feel even worse. I love coffee, i hope i can drink it again soon. Maybe when all this nervous energy goes away i can. You know I always feel so much better in the evening, pretty much normal for the past couple of days. When I wake up in the morning the anxiety swoops right in and lasts until about 4 pm then i seem to feel normal.....geez this has got to end sometime, is it in my head! Cause I'm alone during the day?
Thanks your right! I'm just starting to find me again and I need to trust myself more. Drugs aren't me and I was never me when i was on them I just adapted to life like that. I CHOSE it! Now I'm choosing me and sobriety I need to adapt to that again and hope i find the old me along the way.
Thank you. I sure hope this anxiety part goes away soon, i just want to feel normal again, so I CAN handle these situations better. i'm going to try some meditation breathing like you said. I need to stay focused on MY goal, not letting anyone get in the way. I know if I keep pushing through this it WILL get better. I can't give up hope....
Yes, it seems like you're at that point when you start to realize you have to live life on life's terms. Maybe that's corney or too "slogan-ny" but it's so true. Getting clean is hard enough, never mind having to face the day to day stuff, whether that means work, dealing with family, cleaning the house or having an argument with your spouse. I remember all of that really well. Well, actually we're all living it right? I mean, it is life, good or bad.
Every time I got stressed by any of these things, the anxiety would go through the roof. I would just do the breathing exercises (breathe 5 seconds in, 10 seconds out, repeat 5 times) and that would help calm me down. And meditation is great for stress too as long as you can get yourself to sit long enough to do it. But once done, the benefits are long lasting. And walking with my dog helped so much. Thank goodness for her - she kept me going outside even when I didn't feel like it. She pushed me on.
Just keep going and don't forget the reasons you quit and do not let ANYONE (spouse or not) step in the way of this. I don't mean that in a bad way, because I know our spouses care about us and want to see us well. But if you find the stress from them, or anything else for that matter, becomes too overwhelming you must step back and "regroup", by whatever means.
Stay strong you can do this and you'll be able to handle whatever may come your way. Not so easy in the beginning, but doable. And then much better with time you'll see! :)
Every time I got stressed by any of these things, the anxiety would go through the roof. I would just do the breathing exercises (breathe 5 seconds in, 10 seconds out, repeat 5 times) and that would help calm me down. And meditation is great for stress too as long as you can get yourself to sit long enough to do it. But once done, the benefits are long lasting. And walking with my dog helped so much. Thank goodness for her - she kept me going outside even when I didn't feel like it. She pushed me on.
Just keep going and don't forget the reasons you quit and do not let ANYONE (spouse or not) step in the way of this. I don't mean that in a bad way, because I know our spouses care about us and want to see us well. But if you find the stress from them, or anything else for that matter, becomes too overwhelming you must step back and "regroup", by whatever means.
Stay strong you can do this and you'll be able to handle whatever may come your way. Not so easy in the beginning, but doable. And then much better with time you'll see! :)
Thanks for the advice :) I've been keeping myself as busy as I can, i think the restlessness comes during the times i would normally take a pill.....gotta push through that. Boy, did I have a bad night with my hubby. He did something that totally almost ruined my sobriety but i went to bed and tried to put it out of my mind. He stayed up all night and had to work this morning, now he's hurting and apologetic. I thought he was on board with me, but now I don't know......feeling hopeless. I wanted to use soo badly last nite just to spite him, but I stayed strong. I am proud of myself for not giving in, and I know I would've felt like dirt if I had. But now my anxiety, which was getting better, is through the roof again. I hate this ****!! Don't know what to say or do with him anymore....
Check out the thomas recipe in the health pages
Exercise helps lots to increase endorphins so needed right now...even cleaning out a drawer will help...a closet...a yoga tape...do sumpin...dont dwell on ur situation...it leads nowhere as a rule cept bad places
Exercise helps lots to increase endorphins so needed right now...even cleaning out a drawer will help...a closet...a yoga tape...do sumpin...dont dwell on ur situation...it leads nowhere as a rule cept bad places
Sorry bout the double post. Dang touch screens are....well.....touchy! lol
Hey there. Congrats on 6 days! Thats fantastic. The good news is the majority of the yuk wds should be subsiding in the next day or 2. But then the anxiety and depression rear their ugly heads. Are you in any type of after care? My biggest issue has been anxiety. I am trying to get thru it with no meds like xanax etc. Ive been seeing an addiction therapist every day for the first ninety days of sobriety. That has help GREATLY. Tonite i am attending my 1st NA meeting and am hoping to find a sponsor. Ive also been meditating. After my car accident the other day the meditation has helped some with the pain. The dr gave me a script for thirty percocets. I had an extremely hard time and ended up taking 2 halves and flushed the remaining 29. Id rather work thru the pain than work thru going back into active addiction. Sorry im rambling :)anyway hang tough hun and look into some after care. Ur doing great and you should be dang proud of yourself! Feel free 2 message me whenever ya feel like chatting.
Hey there. Congrats on 6 days! Thats fantastic. The good news is the majority of the yuk wds should be subsiding in the next day or 2. But then the anxiety and depression rear their ugly heads. Are you in any type of after care? My biggest issue has been anxiety. I am trying to get thru it with no meds like xanax etc. Ive been seeing an addiction therapist every day for the first ninety days of sobriety. That has help GREATLY. Tonite i am attending my 1st NA meeting and am hoping to find a sponsor. Ive also been meditating. After my car accident the other day the meditation has helped some with the pain. The dr gave me a script for thirty percocets. I had an extremely hard time and ended up taking 2 halves and flushed the remaining 29. Id rather work thru the pain than work thru going back into active addiction. Sorry im rambling :)anyway hang tough hun and look into some after care. Ur doing great and you should be dang proud of yourself! Feel free 2 message me whenever ya feel like chatting.
You're totally right, I sound like and addict! lol. Well I guess it has taken me soo long to even admit that to myself, I'm still going to be thinking like that for awhile too. I know I am doing pretty good, it's hard waiting. I need to find other healthy things to do that will give me that instant gratification. I just don't know if and when I will get to that point...I feel like I'm walking around just a shell of myself, doing everything I did before but it's so much harder now, no fun in it....all these feelings and emotion and guilt are hard to deal with. i can't believe after only a few months of morphine how hard it is to find myself again. I feel for anyone who's gone through this hell longer than me.
hey congrats on 6 days morphine is a real bi tch to quit the anxiety may hang around for a wile but eventually it will go ....I love in your post about ...''and I want it now'' something all addicts want instant gratification just like the pills gave us but getting well takes time
hang in there you sound like your doing great for 6 days and better times are ahead
good luck and God bless.......Gnarly
hang in there you sound like your doing great for 6 days and better times are ahead
good luck and God bless.......Gnarly
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