Seen the doctor and told him I was an addict!

[Livingtodaylikeitsmylast]

I went into the doctor's and told him everything. I thought I would get an "I knew it" or "I thought so", but I did not.  He was completely supportive and helpful. This is a huge issue in our town. I spent an 1 1/2 hours talking with him and he actually asked me to help him out.  He also suggested that I go off work and on sick leave for a while.  I talked him into letting me work 1/2 days until I figure out all the money end of it.  It's ****** but I was the one who put myself and my family in this mess.  How could I possibly take more money from them to heal? It was really empowering and felt really good. Thanks to all of you who said it would be and thanks for helping me understand that I didn't ask for this.  It is very much like a bad break up.  Finally letting those around you know what you are going through and accepting help with it.  Getting rid of as many ways of getting drugs is a very hard step, but it's like slapping an ex across the face!!!!!!!!!!

I also wrote a good bye letter to my drug.  It's pretty long.  But you know what it's like a bad break up.  It's like staying with someone who you know isn't good for you but you do anyways.  I have a lot of practice in the area.....thanks again to everyone who suggested I do it.  It was very cleansing.  Sounds really crazy I know it does.  I wrote it and read it and re-read it.  Then I read it out loud.  That took many attempts but I got it done.  I did this alone.  My next step is to read it out loud to my friend, then I am going to burn it, and let it go as it burns.  Very, very hard to do.  Any further advice would be great!  I am open to anything.

[Pat1956100]

You are so welcome.  haha I know what you mean about washing your hair.  My arms couldn't handle that for days.
That's the worst part of all this, I think. We get over the rough part and then just drag ourselves around for so long.  But it comes  back and we can be humans again.

[Livingtodaylikeitsmylast]

Energy Level, what's that, I don't have any at all. I am on a bowling team, went last night and couldn't even throw the ball.  Had to sit and watch.  But it beats last Thursday when I was so excited that I was finally able to wash my hair.  So yes it does get better and easier everyday.  I really enjoy your posts and look forward to chatting with you everyday.  Thank you for your time, it means lots to me.

[Pat1956100]

That is excellent thinking. Burn all your bridges and you will have the best chance to stay clean.
You are doing so well and have a great attitude.  
Congrats on the sleep.  That is the hardest part.  How is your energy level?

[Livingtodaylikeitsmylast]

Ya, my doctor is great.  I also told my chiropractor and was totally truthful about everything and he was really supportive as well.  I was yet again shocked.

I am on Day 13, and people keep telling me to be careful not to tell too many people about what is going on with me, maybe they are afraid I will relapse I don't know???   I want to burn as many bridges as I can and make it as hard as I can to get any......

[Livingtodaylikeitsmylast]

Hey there, today was way better and I think I have figured out PM thing, that is pretty cool.  I slept so well last night that at one point my husband woke me up because he thought something was wrong.  Day 13 and I am starting to get some sleep.  Yiipppeeee!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks again, for your words and your kindness and support.  I really appreciate it.

[Pat1956100]

If is so great that you have such a supportive doctor.  Many of us don't.
Glad to see you are still staying strong.
What day are you on now?