Short road to recovery

[Drifter4473]

Ok, today is the end of day 1... I started eating norcos about 2 years ago & gradually worked my way up to popping 3 @ time, 5/6 times per day. I was spending over $1000 per month- For the last 18 months...like most people, i realized i had a problem-when my bottle was completely empty for the first time. @ that point, that was the worst feeling i've ever felt! I remember having cold/sweats, crying because my back was "on fire". I felt like the life was sucked right outta me. That's when i realized it was time to 'cut back'. So I did...i put myself on a 21 day cycle, documenting every move i made. I got down to taking 1@ time, 6 times per day. Once i got to that point-pills were never on my mind anymore. But there's no way i could've gotten that far without smoking really good weed with a high THC count! Anyway, i used the weed to give me that 'high' sensation & popped what i needed to prevent me from feeling sick. There was times where 6 hours would go bye & the urge wasn't even there. I guess that's when i should've just Quit, but i didn't...i ran out of weed "one" day & that was all it took! I ate more pills to compensate for the weed because i wanted to feel high...Sad...
Anyway, im back @ it!! Although i never really quit, i still feel like i relapsed(failed). The one thing i haven't done, is let myself 'ever' take more than 1pill @ time, up to this point. Lol the problem is-i've been taking 10 per day! Ok so, over the last 4 days i've taken (7,6,7,6).not bad right? The only problem is I have 40 pills left, & no way to get anymore. I do have access to .5 methadone. I know thats a whole nother issue, but im only taking them to get thru the initial 3 days of hydro withdraws.! There's NO way i can just quit 'cold turkey' without them. I have to be able to kick the norcos without anybody ever knowing i was even on them, with very little 'down' time. So starting tomorrow, i'm gonna take 1 meth pill in the morning & 1in the evening...& if i can get thru the day with that, then it's worth the risk for me! Any advice out there?

[overopiates]

Just wanna offer support.I would aviod the meth if possible.I dnt think ur on such a high dose at all.U cant take the3-4days of down time to cold turkey(btw its not at all dangerous to quit opiates as long as u dnt have underlying medical issues)opiates r1of the few drugs u can quit c/t from high doses and u may feel like death but its not dangerous.I would say take ur40pills&taper down over a few days.Im not sure how the methadone works for coming off tabs i dnt know the process.I wouldnt mix them though.Get ur tabs down as low as u can w/ur taper get immodium and the other supplies from the thomas recipe u should be able to manage

[johnr1]

Howdy
I am a bit new to this site...so please bear with me.
How long have you been addiction free from substance abuse?
I'm a lifetime addict(booze...drugs...smoking) and am in pretty rough shape physically (who would have thunk?). I'm  5out of 6 months finished with a brutal Hep C treatment and haven't had a drink in 10 months(white knuckle). I've been drinking for 40+ yrs.
The treatment is working and my liver is not cirrhotic...yet.
I'm also 10 days into withdrawing from hydrocodone (40mg/day for 3 yrs).
I've been taking opioid pills for 7 of the last 8 yrs.

my question is how does one keep from relapsing? and what are some good treatment options or programs (I"ve tried AA) ?

I just discovered these forums in my hep c research...and you folks on here are wonderful. What a cool deal and its nice to see people helping each other thru experiences.
I really aprreciate any feedback you could give me.
Thanks again
John

[selfinduced]

I totally get your thought process. I really do. Give it a try and if it fails, give plan "B" a try. The fact that you have thought this out to this extent shows you are ready!!Keep reaching out and you will get there. As I said, I do't have meth expierenice , but I know more will be along to offer advice. I tried to soften the w/d effects only to acquire another addiction. I hate to say that, but it's true. Only you can gage things

[IBKleen]

The KEY to your recovery is change. One of those changes needs to be your behavior. As long as you continue to self-medicate and think that you've got this...then the longer you will remain in active addiction. I hope you open your eyes and listen. There is great support here from members who are sharing their experience. It is invaluable. I wish you the best.

[Drifter4473]

I do understand the whole 'secret' thing...but i actually love the thought of Detoxing my body, the purpose of the methadone is to NOt have to feel the withdraws from the norco.(they're still there,but the methadone keeps it to a minimum) i've thought this out very carefully & i am constantly researching. I do understand that it does take time for a persons' body to become dependent on a drug, so as long as i dont go more than 4-5 days on the meth-i'll be fine...it took me months of eating hydros EveryDay before my body became dependent & i had to have them just to function. Im very determined & have to constantly think of ways to play tricks on myself, because in my opinion the key to recovery is being able to control your mind

[selfinduced]

Hey You, Glad your making some progress at least mentally. I don't know enough to comment  if the meth pill will trick your mind into escaping detox a bit. Hope it will ease things for you. Just from my expierence, I would juggle what pills I had trying to bypass the w/d system and I failed. At some point you will have to bite the bullet and pay the piper. Good news is the piper isn't all that scary once you surrender to it. You can do this privately , but it will take the fear of rehab and the world finding out if you don't succeed. Thats what did it for me....Keep posting...I care.

[kyle505]

You are going to have a hard time if you can't be honest with friends and family.  You may eventually get clean, but if you keep your secret you will end up relapsing behind it. And another suggestion - substituting one drug for another is just a way to escape the eventual detox. Hundreds of us have gone through the hell of detox and are now living life clean.

[Drifter4473]

Ok so i've been up since 9am. (based on my last 4 days) by this time now I would've needed 2 norcos(1 before i get out of bed, & the 2nd about an hour later). At this point i haven't taken any hydros today, as soon as i opened my eyes(oh yea i did take 4tbs of NyQuil last night) i took a .5 methadone pill & its "actually" working. As for me-i can't believe it! Normally @ this time i would be crying if i didnt have @ least 1 norco in my system by now. This afternoon i'll take the 2nd dose & If i can get thru this today then i know i Can get thru tomorrow!! I Do know the methadone is really addicting**But** as long as it gets me off these opiates thats all that matters to me right now. I plan to take 2 methadone per day just to get me thru what some would call "Hell week" (4-5 days). Lol from then on Weed should do the job! & its really helping me get thru this rite now. It really takes the urge away.

[Life360_Dave]

Im on week 3 of tapering from 8 norcos per day down to 3 that i take 1/2 throughout the day and as you say the W/D are really not a problem. You were taking a very high dose so it will be very tough for you with W/D. Try to do as Selfinduced says and go to a doctor and tell him/her that you are on a taper and need help. Quiting C/T can be dangerous especially with your high dose before. The thing about tapering is that one gets use to the feeling. I could not go C/T. On day one of the taper it was a nightmare. I spoke to my doctor and gave me another script but wants me down to 2 by next month and then to one (all half doses) and then make the jump. I can honestly say i will not go back to abusing because the day one of W/D is burned into my mind and am thankful that i am given this opportunity to get off them with little effort and side effects.

[selfinduced]

Hey Drifter, Your in the right place and will get much support here. I was like you and needed to detox in secret. I have 3 kids and my day consisted of very physical activity. Please reconsider the meth pills. Physically it won't help for long and mentally it will just add to the anxiety and weeding out games. If you are to taper and have 40 pills left, you can defiantly soften the blow. For a longer taper could you tell your Doc of your plans to get a few more to stretch it out? I did ct as I didn't do so well at a taper. Keep posting for more support. Don't let the fear of the w/d stop you. It is only a few days of bad, then you improve everyday. The unknown keeps us paralized and on these pills, I promise it is sooooooo worth it.