Sister in danger

[Nessa79]

OK I originally posted this in the wrong community, so I'm going to try this again...

Hi everybody...  I just signed up and I don't know if anybody can help me...  My little sister is 26 years old, and has been a drug user since about age 18.  She tried oxycontin about three years ago and CANNOT quit.  She's been through full-on rehab four times where she goes for at least a month, and when she comes out of rehab she just gets right back into it again.  I know she's been using heroin too, and to be honest I'm not exactly sure what drugs she's using anymore...

It is so sad to watch her slowly dwindling away...  She used to be a star athlete in highschool, she has a BA, she was a highschool PE teacher...  She had it all.  I am just so so sad right now.  She is my best friend.  My mom just spoke with her on the phone today and she sounds very suicidal.  She is probably living on the streets but won't say where she is, she may be prostituting, she says she doesn't even know if she wants help anymore.  She won't answer my phone calls...  I just don't know what to do for her.

I also just wanted to add that my sister and I were lucky to have grown up in a wonderful home with loving parents, and that I don't think there was anything bad that happened to her during childhood.  She did have some traumatic things happen to her as a teenager (abortions, bad relationships)...  I know she was recently diagnosed as "bipolar," when we were always told that she was depressed.  She has been on anti-depressants for years, at least since highschool, but once she started on the bipolar medication when she was in rehab she seemed so happy and like herself again.  However, she won't remember to take her bipolar medication regularly, let alone get her prescriptions refilled.  Plus I think when she's taking other drugs (oxy, heroin, or whatever else) she feels good, so in that case she probably wouldn't take her bipolar medication at all.

So basically I believe my sister has some definite emotional/mental issues...  I just want to know, does anyone ever get off drugs successfully?  And if so how?  Does my sister stand a chance, or is she always going to be dealing with this until the drugs take her life (or she does it herself)?

My heart is breaking.  My parents don't know what to do.  I don't know what to do.  I can't bear the thought of losing her.  She has been my other half my entire life...  She makes me who I am and I love her so much.  I know that no one can really help her unless she wants to help herself, but how does that happen?  She is so down and out.  I think she just hates herself and thinks the world would be better off without her in it.  That's how she's feeling right now...

In case any of you are wondering about me, I'm 28 and married, I have a three-year-old son and a ten-year-old step daughter.  We live in the Seattle area, and I'm a stay-at-home mom for the time being.  Once my son starts school I will probably teach again.  I have never been a "drug user" although I did try a couple drugs when I was in college.  Never became addicted.  So that's me I guess.

Any advice.  PLEASE.

[Nessa79]

Thank you for the advice.  So she has been to rehab twice up here in the Seattle area, and twice down in California.  She went to one called Betty Ford, and they wanted her to stay longer and she wouldn't.  She came right back up here, hooked up with the same people again and got right back into the drug use.  But she tried one down in Malibu, CA and once she finished she moved to San Diego.  She said she was clean for a couple months, but then her boyfriend from up here in Seattle moved down to San Diego and all the badness started happening again.  Also, the last time she did rehab was up here in the Seattle area, and when she got out she went into an Oxford house.  She got kicked out within a couple weeks because they did random drug tests and my sister failed.

I think what my parents are trying to do now is to just get her some counseling for whatever is bothering her on the inside.  I hope she will go...  It all just seems so hopeless.  I feel like we have tried just about everything, and nothing is going to work until my sister is serious about making it work.  I wish there was an easy answer...

[10356]

Downtown Seattle is a hot spot for homeless and drug users, more then likely you would find her in that area, she has to eat go to the free kitchens and ask around with a picture. A month in Rehab dose not sound like enough time for her maybe a longer program then a clean house after, hopefully out of the Seattle are, that is where all her contacts are. Getting her to do this will be hard but she has been four other times so there is a chance. I wish you and your family all the luck with your sister and I will keep you in my thoughts Limbo

[Nessa79]

Thanks again very much you guys...  So I think my sister will turn up again.  I'm not too worried about that, except for the suicidal thoughts she's been having today and recently.  My dad said he actually got her to pick up the phone this evening.  She was supposed to come see my parents and discuss some things but she keeps cancelling on them.  I think what I am mainly trying to figure out is if there is anything I can do or should be doing for her...  Goingtomakeit, I will look into the amino acid thing.  I have never heard of that before.  But what I've really taken away from all the responses so far is that my sister has to want to change on her own, and also she needs to get mentally healthy before rehab will work...  She does get counseling while she's in rehab, and it does seem to help her while she's there, but the problem is getting her to continue to go to counseling once she gets out of rehab.  It's like she needs constant supervision or something, but I know that's probably not good either...

Thank you again for your responses.  Please let me know if you think of anything else that might help my sister.  I will be posting her picture in our church so that the congregation can pray for her.  I am going to try to turn it over to God, but it is just so hard when I feel like I should be DOING something...

[worried878]

she has to find her first....think of some ways to find someone lost out there in the crowds of the lost?    bars?  friends?  not answering her phone but is it still in service?

[GoingToMakeIt]

Is she on meds for her mood? She needs some help and if she is so depressed. It can make you non-functional. She needs something to perk her up. (not drugs) Look in the Health Pages for the Amino acid post. Near the top right of page.

[worried878]

Who is her best friend?  as of late?   or does she have a social network....Does she have a place she always runs to?  I am a private detective on the side LOL    no really...I have worked in that capacity and truth is you can find someone if you know how....fact is it may nat help to find her

[Nessa79]

Thank you for your responses.  I know that she has to want to get well on her own, but I am just so scared that that's never going to happen.  I think you are right GoingToMakeIt and she definitely needs counseling, but she won't GO to counseling.  It's too much effort when she's so depressed.  And worried878 I can't go get her because she won't answer my phone calls, and I don't know where she is...  UGH

[toxictome]

Welcome....sorry you're going thru this....I responded in the other forum...but if she doesn't want help...then there is probably not much that you can do for her.
I will keep both of you in my prayers
Keep posting...it helps to share w/ others......

[worried878]

Is she in Seattle?  sounds as though she does have a mental issue and most bi-polar people dont like their meds because it takes them down a bit...mania is a high in a way and addictive in its own way...Can you go get her?  I know that sounds so simple...probably even a stupid suggestion...sorry

[GoingToMakeIt]

The only ones to be successful are the one that want it bad enough that nothing deters them from that goal. It sounds like she needs counseling really bad. As long as her root problems are there. she will always use the drugs.