Plan "A" didn't work, Time for Plan "B"???

[Pat1956100]

Well my taper plan is not working at all.  I feel like I am in full withdrawal again.  I know it's not as bad as before because I am typing and I couldn't do that when I was really bad.
I planned on cutting to 1 1/2 Percocets (1/2 every 6 hours) a day and then down to one etc.
The 1/2 is only giving me a little bit of relief for about 2 hours and then it hits bad again.  I am not going to increase, no freaking way!!!
I have been now doing this for 2 weeks and probably have done it the stupidest and hardest way possible.
I do get some comfort from going from 15 or 20 percs a day down to 1 1/2 but I have suffered every day for 14 days.
So Plan "B" is to go as long as I possible can without anything and just try again to handle whatever comes.
I am afraid to say that I am going cold turkey because if I fail again I would be embarrassed to tell you.
So, I am just going to do the best I can and go as long as possible because I feel like crap anyway.

[littlebit667]

Just wanted to add my support.  I quit in Sept. and relapsed.  I came back in March and admitted I had screwed up and got great support.  Trust me tapering did NOT work for me.  It was cold turkey or nothing.  This time I am 75 days clean and feeling pretty darn good.  Do you have all you need to help??  I will post my note about detox just in case.  Good luck.  It is worth it and you are worth it.  

I kept telling myself...YOU HAVE the FLU!  It will be over and I will feel so much better.  My brain seemed to get that and settled down a little.  It is hard, but doable!  The Thomas Recipe (bottom of the page) under Health Pages will help.  I did not to the tranquilizers and had to cut back on the Ltryosine, but the rest really helped.  Imodium, Imodium, Imodium (liquid or pills if the liquid can't be found or you can't swallow it) will help.  I took double the dosage for a few days (personal choice) and it helped so much..even with the withdrawals in general and the opiate trots which sucked.  

Hydrate and eat! ((gatorade is good) Even if it is just a little every hour or so.(boost or ensure might work for both food and drink)  You have to eat something to keep your energy up as much as possible.  

If you have Restless legs..it is hit or miss what works.  Walking seemed to help me some.  Hot bath with epsom salts..a little.  I finally had to get my doctor to refill my restless legs meds (non addictive) to get some sleep.  If nothing works,your doctor might help.  Benedryl helps some with sleep issues and you will have them.

One hour at a time is all anyone can ask.  After 2 weeks it gets a little better and I started to say, One day at a time!  Your brain will do all sorts of things to get you to take a pill.  I found if I was hungry..the cravings got worse.  I would try to eat a banana, a few grapes or a few crackers to get that under control.

The hardest part comes after the detox.  Your brain will be all over the place and will try to get you back on the pills...It is having to work and not depend on the pills to help.  

Good for you.  I hope all goes well.  You have made a good start coming here....this site has helped me so much!!!  Keep posting!!!!!

[Pat1956100]

Thanks Lost, I can't remember when I took the last 1/2 of perc.  I think it was early this morning but it didn't really do anything anyway.  I am trying to consider this as day 1 and not take any more.  I had someone who was dropping off 1 or 2 percs a day but I told them I no longer needed any.  So here I go again. I do have 2 pills left all cut up but I just need to know they are there until I can flush them.  As long as I know they are there I am okay.  I would panic without having anything.  

[LostNoMore]

Pat - Like everybody is saying, the jump won't be as bad as the last two weeks have been. Tapering draws out the WDs. If you stop taking the percs, in a couple of days the worst will be over. This is my opinion - tapering is  mental torture. For some of us, it's necessary. For certain drugs, like methadone and subs and benzos, it's mandatory. For you, jumping now is your best bet. I had to flush or otherwise get rid of my pills. I found that during those first days, I was mentally so weak I may have taken something if it was
laying around. Good luck and take care AND keep posting no matter what. We don't judge each other. We SUPPORT each other.

[Pat1956100]

Thanks Steve.
I am definitely going to need all your support.  I was feeling really rough but managed to get some sleep and walk up actually feeling a little better.
I don't do well on no sleep so I sleep whenever I can.  I felt like I was in full withdrawals beofre and now I just feel crappy lol.  
I don't know what's to come and trying to take Minn's advice and not over analyze everything. I am just trying to go with the flow and ride it out.
I am so proud of you and everyone else who has beat this.  It's a very hard thing to do.  Hope you got some relief for sleep from your doctor.

[steve1220]

hey hey pat so today's the day !!! i'm so proud of you and i believe your doing the right thing by jumping at this point !!! you sound like you mind is in the right place for this !!! and i know you can do this...you know what to expect now and you got all your supplies you need and were here for you

             YOU CAN DO THIS GIRLIE !!! your driving this show now keep a strong mind and tell yourself every day i'm gona do this !!!!
                  your friend steve

[Pat1956100]

Thanks so much.  This forum is unbelievable and I am so lucky I found it.  There is no way I could have made it this far without all of you.  I will definitely keep posting.  So far, so good.  Feel terrible physically but stilll determined mentally.

[IwillDoThis]

Pat - first of all never be ashamed if you try and don't succeed - it happens to most if not all at some point and we are here to support and not judge you.  Even if you fall, stick around and keep posting.

Minn is right all you are doing is drawing this whole process out that could have been over for you by now.  You have tapered down as much as you could and now it's time to jump - just set your mind to it and ride it out and tell yourself you have the worst flu ever and there isn't anything to do but endure it - taking a pill to ease how you feel isn't an option.

Pat - you CAN do this!  We are here so regardless never feel embarrased - this is a safe place to be open and get help!  Hugs to you

[akitagurl12]

Minn is right, there is nothing to feel embarrassed about.  I totally know what you mean though.  Yesterday i was so embarrassed about my own post that i was going to delete my profile on here! I'm glad I didn't do that though. I tried tapering in the past, i had even split my pills up and put them in envelopes and wrote the dates on it. But by day 3 of the taper I ended up tearing all the envelopes open and taking them all. So tapering did not work for me.  I also had to just get rid of all the pills I had before quitting c/t because if i knew the pills were around, i would have taken them.  Getting clean has been a total rollercoaster for me so far, but if I had to pick out the hardest parts it would be making the decision to really quit and getting rid of all pills and cutting off my supplier & accepting that this is going to be a complete life changing experience and not just about getting physically detoxed.   That's where I am at now.  But i am doing it, and so will you.  Keep posting, it will help you & everyone who reads it.

[Pat1956100]

Yes Minn, you are right and that is what I am thinking too.  I guess I am afraid to come out and say that because I am so afraid of failing again and then I beat the hell out of myself for it.  I am going to go with the flow and ride it out as long as possible.  One hour at a time.  My head is in the right place and the more I prolong this, the harder it is on my body.  

[minn66]

No need to feel embarrassed! I think you have shown tremendous discipline by tapering the way you have. You may want to think about just making the jump. I know it is scary, yet you are going through the wd anyway. Take the plunge and just make sure you have as many supplements and supplies as you can get on hand. I know I sound like a broken record, but try not to think about what is going to happen. Go with it.

Whatever you decide, keep posting and we'll help and support you :)

[Pat1956100]

For those that are on a sensible taper plan, don't let me discourage you.  I went from 15-20 and tried cold turkey the first 2 days.  I ended up taking 2 on day 3 because I didn't realize that the worst part was almost over.  I have been taking 2 a day ever since except for a couple of days when I went cold turkey again.  I was trying to drop to 1 1/2 but I think my body is screaming at me because it doesn't know what the hell is going on.