Sons Addiction

[Worriedmom1971]

A few months ago I was on here cause my son OD on herion.  Well, that was his first ok third time doing it.  Now I believe he is really addicted.  I know how to tell when he's high on heroin but not sure if I could tell if he has taken saboxin or methadone.  When a person takes those drugs do they look as if they are on herion?  Last week I allowed my homeless son to move it with lots of rules of course.  And he only lasted three days before taking off and smoking pot.  Which was a deal breaker.  Now he's wanting back in the house but he's still lying to himself about how bad his problem truly is.  I'm not sure what to do.  I realized I truly won't be able to watch him every second.  When he first got back in the house we talked about how bad his addiction was.  Today he's saying he's not addicted.  How long does the withdrawal last from herion.  I believe he was at least doing it once or twice a day for around a month.  When he wouldn't smoke it he would take someones saboxin or their methadone.  I truly don't think I can help him any longer.  When he was here I couldn't sleep had to watch him and heck even going to the bathroom was too much cause he would drink or call his buddies who I told him he was to have no contact with.  He's 20 years old. I have three little kids here and I'm not ok with him being around them.  My husband and I are going to end up in divorce cause all we do is fight about what to do with him.  Help please!  Dawn

[imanaddict]

I first wanted to say that I commend you on "tough love". It must be really hard having to do that as a mother and watching your son destroy himself must be killing you inside! He needs help, but until he is ready to do that, there isn't much you are going to be able to do. Suggesting rehab is a really good start, and now it's time for him to follow through. All of his "promises" won't mean a thing until he actually seeks professional help. Insist on it and see that he follows through. Make it a condition, either get help or get out.

I know that is so much easier said than done and I hope I'm not coming off as insensitive. I sincerely hope he gets the help he needs before it's too late. Your family will be in my prayers.

[IBKleen]

Please don't feel that you are being mean. Sometimes it takes tough love to get him clean and in the meantime you are setting rules to protect yourself.

About the Suboxone..you didn't mention how he got that? Is he buying it on the street? If so, then he is not using it correctly and may be doing the "weekend warrior" routine which some addicts do. They use their drug then the Sub, then their drug, then the Sub, and so on. Suboxone can be a very useful medication/tool in helping to get clean if used properly and under a doctor's care. Many doctor's insist that the patient undergo counseling while on the program.

I still firmly believe he will need in-patient treatment and hope that he will submit to it.

In the meantime, please continue to take care of yourself and don't fall for his crying and his threats. He is doing that to make you feel guilty.

Hang in there and please keep posting. It often helps just to let it out and talk to someone.

[Worriedmom1971]

Yes my son is lying so much I don't even think he hears himself anylonger.  It's scary to watch.  And he makes everyone around him feel crazy.  Sometimes I think he's lost his mind.  Well, hello I'm sure he does feel like he's lost his mind too.  Yes some little things have been stolen already.  I'm sure it will only get worse.  I told him for me to even consider him coming back home I wanted him to go to a rehab place and at least get interviewed by a professional.  He cried and cried but finally agreed.  I also told him he had to start going to meetings about his addiction. and that he had to come clean to his girlfriend with me present to make sure all is out in the open.  Well, he cried like a baby and tried to get me to as he put it bend a little.  Well, I told him he is no longer callin the shots.  It's my way or he can live on the street.  Than he tries to say well than I will just go and over dose.  well sorry but that would be on you not me.  Thats what I had to tell him.  I can't let him say and do these things any longer.  So I know I sound mean but he's totally not in control of himself any longer.  I just feel even with him agreeing to my demands im still enabling him.  Ok so no falling asleep while talking to him on saboxin?  ok so I just won't know if he's taken it?  Cause I told him NO PILLS or drugs of any kind while living in our house.  I'm so so sick of dealing with this.  I'm starting to actually be sick all the time for real.  well ok thanks, Dawn

[IBKleen]

Hi Dawn,

I am so sorry to hear you are going through this again with your son.

Right off the bat---addicts are liars. He is not admitting to you how bad his addiction is because he has not admitted it to himself. If you think he is high, he is. Suboxone would not make him look high like heroin does.

Heroin detox is one of the nastiest and it physically lasts for five days or so.

If he is still with his old friends, not working, etc. then it is not a good sign. His best bet is in-patient treatment where they can get him detoxed and help with the mental side of the disease.

In the meantime, please take care of yourself and your little ones. Your son is not himself if he is using and he will lie and steal to get what he needs.

I hope I don't sound too harsh, I want you to help yourself because only your son can help himself.