Is this normal?!

[starshine7]

I've been through my good shares of withdrawl...this one currently I've been in bed 24/7 mainly...which has upset the boyfriend, who can't have lunch or any food without my help boo hoo! Angry much??YES!

So, I told him to 'ucking leave my life alone and he has for now....but this is never a forever...what's forever???Another story...

So, my question is, as I was lying down, writhing in my USUAL pain, I suddenly got a LITTLE burst of energy and was able to do laundry! But, it was exhausting as well...

I don't recall bouts of energy on my last couple withdrawls...no telling how long they will last huh?

[starshine7]

you almost make me speechless...which is hard for any woman toothfairie! <3

[toothfairie]

just wanted to lend some support Star....i deal with pressure and stress EVERY day at work....luckily not at home tho....each day that we are clean gives us the tools we need to deal with it all and not go off on every person that makes us mad...lol  hard to do, i know but it does get so much better....just give yourself time, be good to YOU....you deserve this time to heal and you will get great support from us....one min, one hour at a time girl  :)

[starshine7]

thanks Victorious! lol you are... and I HAD to put up clean in KS as best reply cause it teared me....thankx :)))))))))

[VICourageous]

Hi Girl..Just take it min by min and things will do what ever they are suppose too..I know we want it all now but this just put me in a yo-yo until I did take it day by day..I too am use to doing everything for every one but me..I had to put up some serious boundaries. We do need time to heal so we could get back on track..Pressure, Drama, Stress will only make it worse..Hang in you will be back soon..Then you can do the things you want to do..Heal-Heal-Heal right now there Girl...lol
Bless

[starshine7]

scared to death...never have I been that way. I always wanted too!

[clean_in_ks]

Hey girl.....I kept a journal my first 55 days in......and I used it EVERY DAY.  It really helped when I hit a "low" spot to look in it and find that at least one or two things were better.  I have looked back thru that MORE than once......and am so glad I did it.  I couldn't drive, or think, or type.....but I could write at least......and it is still valuable to me to reflect when I need to.
Approval addiction?  Who us?  Just know putting yourself first and foremost when you are committed to getting off is the ONLY way you can do it.  We transform from self centered to selfish is a very necessary way.  You will be a HUGE blessing to all those that cross your path as the clean and sober you.  Rootin for ya~

[starshine7]

I thank you both:) I'm constantly a "people Pleaser" it seems, and it has put me through HELL>

Just feel that if I'm not up to what they "think/want" of a person, woman, etc. I'm lousy..LOW SELF-ESTEEM yes I know...

Aren't we all..as addicts? Who else would go through such pain for so damn little?

[selfinduced]

Hey Star, I know the feeling. We are so used to being able to rise to the occasion no matter what, BUT your recovering from a major jolt to your system. Be gentle with yourself and let your BF pick up the slack. While detoxing if I could unload the dishwasher, throw in some laundry and get some food down it was a good day. Your doing well. Keep expectations low but push when you can. I promise tomorrow is a better day!!!!

[FourJays]

I thought of my energy bursts and/or moments of clarity as tiny little "windows".  They started out as little bits of light that came through 'the darkness', and opened up bigger and bigger as the days go by.  Hang in there Star; it will get better.  

[starshine7]

Thanks u2! I thought..well I hoped..It was over! ******* I am.

Can't be but Thanks Kyle-good I'm not ALONE in that either!

Thanx S: I do have 1 journal but you know, its been on counting/collecting pills for a LONG time and when I'm clean, I find I don't have to complain as much so I don't write in it!

But, your good=I get what you mean about the symptoms/feelings part. LOVE to write and read I do.....

[dominosarah]

Each day you will get a bit stronger.  I would start a journal too.  Just writing down your feelings will help you.  Keep talking to us shine as we are here for you~

[kyle505]

My last detox was absolute hell. I was taking lots of norco, and had been taking it for years, but, even during the worst days I would have a burst of either physical or mental energy. Then crash. I called them my "previews" - a brief glimpse in to a clean life. I cherished each and every one. So, enjoy them when/if they happen again.
K