Helpless

[star1970]

Hi all
My name is Star and i have a 20 year old daughter that is a Heroin addict.  She became addicted when she was 15 she was at this time smoking it. When she was 17 she asked for our help and over a year and ahalf came off Heroin .. finished a methadone program and finished a subutex program and things were looking up.  She moved into a support housing and seemed to be getting on with life .  Then the tell tail signs started again the distance between visits and calls .. till we couldnt get hold of her for weeks.  We called the housing and they said they were about to fill in a missing persons report as she hadn't been seen since the 25th June 2010.  They don't have to inform me as she is classed as a adult.  I told them i would report her missing which i did , after i contacted the key worker and told him i needed to no what was going on and where she was .. otherwise how am i suppose to help her as she wouldnt tell me the truth.  He said her room was filled with needles .. used and unused ..and that she was down to about 5 1/ 2 stone with a min habit of 40 english pounds .  My legs just gave way im a mess ..there is a warrent out for her arrest i believe for shop lifting ...she did show up at her home to be told she could no longer live there and that was 3 days ago . she has gone again we don't no where she is just no that she is with 3 men who are known drug dealers , i also believe she is selling herself .. i dont no what to do.. i believe she needs tough love but we cant contact her to help her . She is a diabetic and has no medication with her as she does not manage that either. The other thing is she was in a car accident and the money is going to come threw anyday now for thousands of pounds im trying to get it stop but not having much luck :( i think this money will kill her .. any advice would be great ..

[sway1]

i am at a loss for words. let me know what happens or if you need to talk you can send me a private message on here. all my prayers, sway

[star1970]

sorry im still trying to work out the posting on this forum .. wanted to say thanks to everyone that has posted.

[star1970]

Thanks for your support Sway and im so sorry your mom never got to see you clean.  I will always support her .. but sadly the trust has gone , after her recovery i didnt think she would go back.  Sadly i feel we have lost her .. i think she is two far gone .. i have a glimpse of hope but it is fading .  Im trying so hard to protect my other children and im suffering with panic attacks since finding out on saturday about the relapse .. my heart is beating to fast and i have been put on beta blockers .so the stress is starting to show .. i have realised unless she wants the help there is nothing i can do .. which as a mom is heartbreaking because it makes u feel useless.

[sway1]

when i was a teenager, i was the same. just like that. gone off with strange older and dangerous men. strung out and so far gone. i kills me what i put my parents through. now. then, i felt nothing, i was on a mission. until the mission was over no thought would be given to anything or anyone else. it's like a raging river.
   if you can lay your hands on your daughter, do whatever you have to do to get her into a longterm rehabilitation facility. lie if that's what it takes. she is so young. i will be praying for you, hard. remember that the things she may say are just the product of the disease of addiction. don't take anything to heart if you can help it. this may help later on when and if you come out on the other side of this thing.
   i lost my mom before i could make any kind of amends for all that i had put her through. please let us know what is going on with this. i am taking this one personally. all my prayers, sway

[CATUF]

long-term (4 months) in-patient rehab, saved my life.  i had been in a 28 day in-patient program before that, but i relapsed almost immediately upon getting out.

i would do everything possible to keep the settlement money from her.  things may be bad now, but they will be worse if she can suddenly use as much as she wants, for as long as she wants.  in active-addiction, we addicts can't find the off switch,  

petition the court and have her declared incompetent, use that money for rehab.

i'm praying for you and your daughter.

CATUF
1856

[IBKleen]

Hi,

I am sorry your post was not answered, it is very early in the morning for most here.

My heart is breaking reading your words and I can feel your pain. I know it is hard when you can't help your child.

It seems you have, or are doing every thing humanly possible to find her and help her. As hard as this is to hear it may be best that she get brought in on the warrant and be put behind bars. Once she gets physically clean for a few days she has choices. While she is actively using (now) the drug is making all of her choices for her.

Star, she needs professional help as you know and even if you did find her you cannot help her alone. She will probably run again. She needs long-term treatment.

You and your family are in my prayers. Please keep talking with the members here, it does help and be sure to take care of yourself during this time.